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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Quickleaf" data-source="post: 5430850" data-attributes="member: 20323">Wow, Great advice so far! Sounds like there are some professional authors here <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> The third writeup of the Crimson Empire resonated more for me because you cut out the "33rd scribe"'narrator - which just didn't fit - and you got to the core of your setting faster. However you also raise a question: what created the desert wastes and decimated swaths of civilization? I agree with the Dune remark. that was the first thing I thought too, rather Dune under the Harkonen empire, which would be a magocracy rife with intrigue. My immediate thought was the main conflict would be Against this evil empire as rebels from within.Your setting info around "clerics" and afterlife got me thinking... I really like the Joan of Arc / Rumi spin on people touched by a higher power. I almost expected you to introduce a new character archetype to the classic 4...an ancestral ghost warrior...or some kind of monastic who taps into the Akashic Record / Memory Palace of the great heroes. Something tells me that the philosophy of eternity, the eternal return, Ouroborous, and the destiny vs fate questions of Near Eastern philosophy would be a good source for you to mine for inspiration.And I'll echo the chorus about honing your core paragraph- the heart of your setting in under 500 words. I like to keep that core statement on a notecard by my computer when I write, to keep going back to it as a touchstone.</blockquote>

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