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How do you tell someone that they smell?
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<blockquote data-quote="Olaf the Stout" data-source="post: 3069508" data-attributes="member: 13703"><p>First let me provide some background on the situation. I have a friend that I have known for about 10 years now. We went to high school together. He dropped out but we have remained in contact. He lives by himself in a unit that his parents own and he doesn't have a job or study. He has always been a bit of a hermit and a loner and doesn't have many friends. He also has what I would call under-developed social skills. This makes him come across as a little strange and weird to people that don't know him. His social skills are that bad that my parents and wife both think he's slightly disabled mentally (he's not but his lack of social skills can make it look that way).</p><p></p><p>Right, now that I have got that out of the way, here is my real problem. My friend has a bit of a body odour problem. He lives by himself and doesn't really get out of his unit much. As a result his personal hygiene has gone downhill in the last couple of years. When we have a game he meets me in town after I finish work, we catch the train together and then I drive home with him from the train station. It is only a 5 minute drive to my house but in that small confined space I can definitely smell him. The problem only gets worse for me though.</p><p></p><p>We game at my house and after the game he stays over in one of our spare rooms (we game on a weeknight till relatively late and he doesn't drive). He sleeps in the clothes that he's wearing and doesn't shower in the morning. As you can imagine this doesn't improve the smell. Sometimes I drive into work the next morning and drop him off at home on the way. This means that I am sometimes trapped in the small confines of my car with him for just over half an hour. Not good at all!</p><p></p><p>I am now at the stage of not wanting to put up with it anymore. How I bring the issue up is something that I am struggling to figure out. Like I said previously, I have been friends with him for 10 years and don't want to hurt his feeling too much. We aren't really, really close friends since we have little in common besides gaming and his lack of social skills makes it very difficult to have a conversation with him. I am worried that if I say something to him, he will just get really offended and possibly quit the game.</p><p></p><p>On the other hand I don't think it is unreasonable to at least shower and wear clean clothes when you go over someone's house. So far no-one else in my game has complained to me about his smell but my wife has noticed that there is always dirt, crumbs and other unknown substances around his chair after the game each fortnight. Always just his chair and no-one elses.</p><p></p><p>So how can I approach the situation? Has anyone else had any experience with a friend or someone they gamed with smelling? What did you do about it?</p><p></p><p>Olaf the Stout</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Olaf the Stout, post: 3069508, member: 13703"] First let me provide some background on the situation. I have a friend that I have known for about 10 years now. We went to high school together. He dropped out but we have remained in contact. He lives by himself in a unit that his parents own and he doesn't have a job or study. He has always been a bit of a hermit and a loner and doesn't have many friends. He also has what I would call under-developed social skills. This makes him come across as a little strange and weird to people that don't know him. His social skills are that bad that my parents and wife both think he's slightly disabled mentally (he's not but his lack of social skills can make it look that way). Right, now that I have got that out of the way, here is my real problem. My friend has a bit of a body odour problem. He lives by himself and doesn't really get out of his unit much. As a result his personal hygiene has gone downhill in the last couple of years. When we have a game he meets me in town after I finish work, we catch the train together and then I drive home with him from the train station. It is only a 5 minute drive to my house but in that small confined space I can definitely smell him. The problem only gets worse for me though. We game at my house and after the game he stays over in one of our spare rooms (we game on a weeknight till relatively late and he doesn't drive). He sleeps in the clothes that he's wearing and doesn't shower in the morning. As you can imagine this doesn't improve the smell. Sometimes I drive into work the next morning and drop him off at home on the way. This means that I am sometimes trapped in the small confines of my car with him for just over half an hour. Not good at all! I am now at the stage of not wanting to put up with it anymore. How I bring the issue up is something that I am struggling to figure out. Like I said previously, I have been friends with him for 10 years and don't want to hurt his feeling too much. We aren't really, really close friends since we have little in common besides gaming and his lack of social skills makes it very difficult to have a conversation with him. I am worried that if I say something to him, he will just get really offended and possibly quit the game. On the other hand I don't think it is unreasonable to at least shower and wear clean clothes when you go over someone's house. So far no-one else in my game has complained to me about his smell but my wife has noticed that there is always dirt, crumbs and other unknown substances around his chair after the game each fortnight. Always just his chair and no-one elses. So how can I approach the situation? Has anyone else had any experience with a friend or someone they gamed with smelling? What did you do about it? Olaf the Stout [/QUOTE]
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