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Message: <blockquote data-quote="DerHauptman" data-source="post: 3076589" data-attributes="member: 39988">I have been on the receiving end of this one.  I had a friend tell me my breath was really bad once, I'm glad he did because I didn't really notice.  I told him I brushed regularly and such and he said "Well, it smells like something died in your f&%$#@-ing mouth dude!"  So, I asked my wife...she agreed. (I asked why she didn't say anything - but that's another story)  She said that she didn't say anything because she knew it wasn't a hygiene problem since she knew I took care of the choppers.  She figured it was the new vitamins and garlic tablets I was taking for work.  Went to the dentist to figure out why and she told me that the bone where I had two implants put in (after getting hit in th face with a rifle in Panama) was beginning to go into necrosis.  Also that the reason I didn't smell it myself was that the infection had spread to the bones in my sinus and was effecting my sense of smell.   ( I thought the sinus pressure was from allergies since I had come back from overseas recently and there is always the readjustment period where I get colds and sinusitis from the rapid change in climates.  He sort of saved my life because the dentist told me that if I had waited till it hurt significantly the infection might have gotten so widespread that I'd either loose part of my facial bone or even die if the infections spread to my brain through the sinus tissue or bone. It turned out to be a huge deal I had to take IV antibiotics for about a month. Walking around with a catheter and the whole 9 yards.     I am glad my buddy was honest with me and I bet your friend will be too.   Honesty is always the best deal.  Be frank but nice and make it seem like you care about him and its effect on his life not the petty fact that his smell negatively effects you or the place he sits at your table.  Tell him you are just trying to look out for him so he doesn't embarrass himself further.  Then make it seem like a non-issue or condition of your friendship and invite him over sometime outside of gaming so he knows you care about him as a person and he will be welcome regardless - it will be a catalyst for change.   When he starts to make some changes regardless of whether those changes are just simple things others normally do out of habit complement him on it.  Offer to go with him to go shopping, and get his hair cut get him a nail treatment or something as a gift (laugh all you want a manicure [without the polish I ain't that crazy] feels nice and the chicks are hot mostly! Complement him on his clothes if he gets new ones, his hair if he cuts It, etc.. Get him out to socialize, offer to go out with him, dress nice, set the positive example and wear cologne!  Talk to people and chicks so he can see how it is done.  Be positive about him listen and care.  That is what brings people out of the cave.  If single invite chicks over for drinks and games if possible, have a party!  Take him to a work party or function if possible introduce him around to some of your non-gaming friends, encourage him to make some of his own outside our incestuous geekdom.  If you are married remind your wife to complement him on his improvements - hearing it from a chick even someone else's' wife is good ego food.  Remember - regardless of how it may seem to an outsider, it is counter to human behavior to want to be alone.  We are social creatures.  Socialize him damn it!  This is how in the human intelligence business we turn people.  We get them to feel good about themselves and bingo!  They will do whatever it is you ask if you are the one who made them feel better after a long period of depression and loneliness.  Change a mans life for the better and you'll have his loyalty for life my friend - life!Regards, DH</blockquote>

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