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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Hussar" data-source="post: 8594984" data-attributes="member: 22779">Fair enough.Chronica Feudalis has a fantastic mechanic called "backgrounding".  Basically, the player can choose (IIRC) 3 things about his or her character, declare them "in the background" and the DM is then instructed to not make these points an issue in the game.  So, if you want, say, a family, but, you don't want it to be a big deal, you wrap it up as a background, with the understanding that this is exactly what it is - it's not an "advantage", just something you want to be true about your character but you don't want it to become a thing at the table.It's a concept I've really hammered on with players.  I made it very explicit with my newest group since I did not know most of the players very well.  Since the formation of the group, it's been used less and less since I've repeatedly shown that no, I won't punish you for engaging with the setting.  Having family and whatnot is a GOOD thing.  Like you say, so long as you're not punishing players for these kinds of things - and yes, if you're using character background relationships as adventure hooks without talking to the players about it first or without the player's explicit permission, then you are punishing them from their point of view - they work fantastic.  But, again, as I said, DM's (and often DM advice) are notorious for doing this and it's no wonder that players actively pull against it.  It doesn't help that the exact sort of thing drives the action in so many video games as well.  You just know that if you have a family member/loved one/pet dog, that it's got the half-life usually associated with small fluttering things on top of trout ponds.</blockquote>

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