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How To Kill The Tarrasque, For First-Level Parties
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<blockquote data-quote="Psyckosama" data-source="post: 646332" data-attributes="member: 9184"><p>How To Kill The Tarrasque, For First-Level Parties </p><p></p><p>Note -- This one was designed back during 2e D&D. I haven't been able to *find* the 'Green Slime' monster entry for 3e. </p><p></p><p></p><p>Step one -- Find green slime. </p><p></p><p>Step two -- Have party mage cast 'Unseen Servant' for safely handling green slime. </p><p></p><p>Step three -- Place green slime safely in securely corked, but breakable, glass vials. </p><p></p><p>Step four -- Buy cow. </p><p></p><p>Step five -- Lead cow to town where tarrasque is rampaging. </p><p></p><p>Step six -- Kill cow and fasten vials of green slime to outside of cow corpse. Make you sure stuff enough vials on it that the corpse cannot be chewed without breaking at least one. </p><p></p><p>Step seven -- Leave cow corpse on ground. Step way back and watch tarrasque bite free steak dinner. (Note -- tarrasques do not *EVER* pass up free meals.) </p><p></p><p>Step eight -- Watch tarrasque bite open vial while chewing cow and get green slime on teeth. </p><p></p><p>Step nine -- Watch tarrasque turn into green slime in 1d3 rounds, as per 2e green slime monster description. For optional pleasure, dance mocking jig at tarrasque for being of only 1 Intelligence and therefore being too stupid to recognize green slime and/or take basic anti-green slime precautions and treatment measures. </p><p></p><p>Step ten -- Buy lots of lamp oil and clean up big, stationary, non-regenerating heap of green slime with large fire. </p><p></p><p>Step eleven -- You're first-level characters who just killed a tarrasque! Go you!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Psyckosama, post: 646332, member: 9184"] How To Kill The Tarrasque, For First-Level Parties Note -- This one was designed back during 2e D&D. I haven't been able to *find* the 'Green Slime' monster entry for 3e. Step one -- Find green slime. Step two -- Have party mage cast 'Unseen Servant' for safely handling green slime. Step three -- Place green slime safely in securely corked, but breakable, glass vials. Step four -- Buy cow. Step five -- Lead cow to town where tarrasque is rampaging. Step six -- Kill cow and fasten vials of green slime to outside of cow corpse. Make you sure stuff enough vials on it that the corpse cannot be chewed without breaking at least one. Step seven -- Leave cow corpse on ground. Step way back and watch tarrasque bite free steak dinner. (Note -- tarrasques do not *EVER* pass up free meals.) Step eight -- Watch tarrasque bite open vial while chewing cow and get green slime on teeth. Step nine -- Watch tarrasque turn into green slime in 1d3 rounds, as per 2e green slime monster description. For optional pleasure, dance mocking jig at tarrasque for being of only 1 Intelligence and therefore being too stupid to recognize green slime and/or take basic anti-green slime precautions and treatment measures. Step ten -- Buy lots of lamp oil and clean up big, stationary, non-regenerating heap of green slime with large fire. Step eleven -- You're first-level characters who just killed a tarrasque! Go you! [/QUOTE]
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