D&D General How would people react to a visual age difference for couples of the same age?

[Nambypamby]

So, for my latest game, I've been thinking about playing a character who used to be a tattoo artist. I tried to find a picture for his wife, and I found one that I really like, but she's very clearly several decades older.
At first I was somewhat hesitant of the idea, until I realized that my character is a half-elf and thus ages very differently from a normal human. So him actually having a visually much older wife wouldn't actually be all that weird.
They started dating in their 20s, but now that they are somewhere around their late 50s to early 60s, his wife starting graying, but he still looks the same as he did when they first met.

Now, this isn't really meant as me asking for a critique for or feedback on my character idea -I just wanted to explain how I got to this point-, but it did got me thinking about how these things would work and be seen in a world like Faerûn. How would people react to couples that are visually much older or younger than their partner, due to the different lifespans of different races? Would they have an issue with it, or would it just be an commonly accept fact of life?

(And yes, I am somewhat aware of the ... questionable implications of such a topic from a real world perspective. But I figured it's an important enough question from a world-building point of view, that we can put aside the irl politics for some time. )

 

[MGibster]

Elves and other half-elves might think your character foolish for marrying someone who is going to die so quickly. They might even consider him cruel for marrying someone who will suffer the vicissitudes of age while her husband remains in the prime of his life.

 

[Clint_L]

It's actually a really cool topic, IMO, because it asks us to take the fantasy setting more seriously than the game often does. I expect that in a world like Faerun, where inter-species couples are not all that rare, this might be less commented on, but I also suspect it would be something that people were sympathetic towards. It has potentially tragic, but beautiful, connotations.

I think it's a very cool character concept.

 

[Tonguez]

Its an interesting topic that has been commented on for centuries (see Tithonis and Tolkien) and does lead to some interesting rp. I have done so myself with my character Orbril the gnome, who I played throughout his entire life from a young gnomling setting out to become an apprentice alchemist, right through to his eventual retirement as a guest of the Fairy Queen and an "old calaban who delights in watching the nubile pixies" Part of his retirement was visiting all the gnome burrows that were descendents of his original clan and leaving Hamsters with them. Lots of looking back at his career and remembering friends and loved ones who had passed on as well as re-acquainting with those he had adventured with in the past.

I think societies where Elf and Human and Dwarf interact commonly would be a lot more accepting of 'unusual couples', though there might be some private family concerns (so what happens when your human wife is old and feeble?), "um how exactly do halfling and the lizardman do yer know?"

As to real world, it seems to be another weird Americanism thats pushing into global zeitgeist. My wife is 10 years older than me and its never been an issue (albeit I was 24 when I met her)

 

[Smackpixi]

This would be pretty low on the ladder of the amount of weird crap the people of the Forgotten Realms have to accept as normal. If your version has no side-eyes about humans and elves mixing, then not weird, natural. My version has elves being much against, and would roll eyes at one of those dying ones (even if not yet old) coming to dinner, humans, not so much caring.

Edit: and the elf opposition to mixing isn’t so much about racism as it is to the elf dabbling in humans being unable to commit, and instead engaging in serial relationships with an easy out, they’ll be dead “soon”, you know in like 50 years.

 

[GMMichael]

Hmm. Wrinkles or scales . . .

 

[Deset Gled]

Edit: and the elf opposition to mixing isn’t so much about racism as it is to the elf dabbling in humans being unable to commit, and instead engaging in serial relationships with an easy out, they’ll be dead “soon”, you know in like 50 years.

I've seen the comparison before that from an elven POV an emotional relationship with a human is somewhat similar to a human's emotional relationship with a dog. Yes, it can be extremely deep and meaningful. But there's also an understanding that it will eventually end. And while the ending experience is sad, there's also a basic expectation that people will move on with their lives without excessive pomp and circumstance. Perhaps even some negative stigma around people who have trouble moving on after an acceptable amount of grieving time.

Extrapolating that onto the OP's scenario, I can see how humans and elves might see the situation differently. And that could definitely result in some uncomfortable dialog or scenarios.

 

[Reynard]

Elves and other half-elves might think your character foolish for marrying someone who is going to die so quickly. They might even consider him cruel for marrying someone who will suffer the vicissitudes of age while her husband remains in the prime of his life.

I often figure elf-human relationships like human-pet relationships: there is of course deep love there, but the longer lived member knows going in that it cannot last and the pain of loss is just part of the deal.

 

[Plaguescarred]

In a fantasy game where so many species exist and bond togheter, what IRL may be considered uncommon can be more common.

As DM i wouldn't make it a big deal out of it and treat it much differently than anythign else, unless it'd be among the player's wish.

 

[payn]

I often figure elf-human relationships like human-pet relationships: there is of course deep love there, but the longer lived member knows going in that it cannot last and the pain of loss is just part of the deal.

Great, now I cant get this out of my head.