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How would your group handle this somewhat delicate situation with a player?
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<blockquote data-quote="ruemere" data-source="post: 4598560" data-attributes="member: 5515"><p><strong>Speaking from experience...</strong></p><p></p><p>Marriage is about two people agreeing on a compromise. Live and let live. </p><p></p><p>Your friend appears to be in early stage of such relationship - this is when people take their significant other's inclinations and preferences for granted. What should they work on now is communicating their personal needs.</p><p>It's not evil, egoistical to have a hobby. It's not a betrayal to be able to enjoy or pursue different goals. Just keep in mind that the other side needs to be able to do the same, and at the same time, they appreciate and know how to enjoy their own interests.</p><p></p><p>It's hard to give a specific advice in this situation, but probably asking your friend to talk to her like his equal [1], and then stating that this is something your friend simply loves to do, would be a good start. One just has to put himself in a position of a supplicant - you do not need to be humble or apprehensive, however you should be polite (and probably avoid becoming too defensive).</p><p></p><p><strong>Compromise</strong>: If there is a need, offer to spend quality time with her during more convenient hours, but try to avoid making it looking like bargain offer. You're genuinely trying to be happy with her, not just trying to strike a business deal.</p><p></p><p>Regards,</p><p>Ruemere</p><p></p><p>[1] Putting her in a role of an opponent means that you're not treating her on equal terms. It's really easy to attribute ill will to someone who is simply not aware of your need.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ruemere, post: 4598560, member: 5515"] [b]Speaking from experience...[/b] Marriage is about two people agreeing on a compromise. Live and let live. Your friend appears to be in early stage of such relationship - this is when people take their significant other's inclinations and preferences for granted. What should they work on now is communicating their personal needs. It's not evil, egoistical to have a hobby. It's not a betrayal to be able to enjoy or pursue different goals. Just keep in mind that the other side needs to be able to do the same, and at the same time, they appreciate and know how to enjoy their own interests. It's hard to give a specific advice in this situation, but probably asking your friend to talk to her like his equal [1], and then stating that this is something your friend simply loves to do, would be a good start. One just has to put himself in a position of a supplicant - you do not need to be humble or apprehensive, however you should be polite (and probably avoid becoming too defensive). [b]Compromise[/b]: If there is a need, offer to spend quality time with her during more convenient hours, but try to avoid making it looking like bargain offer. You're genuinely trying to be happy with her, not just trying to strike a business deal. Regards, Ruemere [1] Putting her in a role of an opponent means that you're not treating her on equal terms. It's really easy to attribute ill will to someone who is simply not aware of your need. [/QUOTE]
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How would your group handle this somewhat delicate situation with a player?
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