(humor) How to totally cheat to get extra Feats

Edena_of_Neith

First Post
Ok, you're the ruthless player. You play to win. You do what it takes to win. Nothing else, including any ethics, morals, your fellow adventurers, the campaign goal, means anything.
For you, there is only victory over the game, and over everyone, and enjoying your triumph as your character wallows in billions of gold pieces.

Now, you want Feats. Lots of Feats. Feats will make your character tough. Feats will make your character the baddest, meanest person around. Feats will allow your character to kick everyone's butts.

But how to get those Feats?
Or, rather, how to get them in a hurry?

Well, here's what you do:

Here's what you do:

You create a mage, and get him up to 17th level.

Then, you have him gain enough experience points - in this case 16,999 - to almost but not quite gain 18th level.

Then you create a new character who is the son of the archmage in question.

Your archmage then burns 5,000 experience points on a Wish, and grants your beginning character an extra Feat.
Your archmage burns another 5,000 experience points on a Wish, and grants your beginning character another extra Feat.
Then, your archmage burns another 5,000 experience points on a Wish, and grants your beginning character a third extra Feat.

Then, you play your archmage in games, while you do not play your beginning character.

When your archmage has gained another 16,999 experience points, he repeats the procedure - he throws three Wishes and grants your beginning character 3 more Feats.

So, for every level (effectively) your archmage would have gained, your starting character gains an additional 3 Feats.

So, when you finally start playing your beginning character, he has 20 or 30 Feats to start with.
And, of course, he will always get more as long as you play that archmage ...

You then create a third character, and once more your archmage gives him Feats via Wishes.

You create a fourth character, and your archmage supplies him with Feats via Wishes.

ALL of your characters get Feats from the archmage.

And when your second character reaches archmage status (17th level), you now have TWO characters capable of Wishes, and now you can throw SIX Wishes at a time, on all your other characters.

If there is someone else in the party who has Wishes, you get together with him, and you agree to combine your Wishing power, heaping Wishes and thus Feats on all new characters you and your buddy create.

There are a couple of problems that must be overcome, if you are to pull this stunt:

1: Your DM must agree that a Wish will grant Feats
2: Your DM must agree that your two characters can help each other
3: Your DM must support your endeavor throughout the campaign.
4: You must throw aside all game ethics and morals ... you'll pay any price, do anything reasonable or unreasonable, to get what you want.

There is one more danger to this path:

When you take the character into another DM's game, he must avoid the danger of:

1: Being swallowed by a Sphere of Annihilation
2: Being struck by a Morganti Blade
3: Being struck by an asteroid (that totally obliterates the body, so no resurrection)
4: Being eaten by a demon that just happened upon him in the middle of the night.
5: Being swallowed by an otyugh that just happened to be at the bottom of a pit - which just happened to be in the middle of the road and was somehow undetectable
6: Being killed by a Flumph
 
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Bribery works too. Books are not cheap, and the DM ussually buys more then the players. Buying beer for them is a huge plus, as is setting him up with your sister.
 

Cheating, continued

Of course, when you switch campaigns you don't tell the new DM the truth about what you did.

You tell the DM that you got those Feats because of:

1: A lucky draw from a Deck of Many Things
2: A God granted you some of those Feats
3: You gained the Feats in special roleplaying sessions with your last DM
4: You gained the Feats from special magical items

Of course, lying to a DM is not wise.

DMs generally are liarproofed.

There is nothing quite as dangerous as an angry DM, and nothing quite so unpleasant to the character as what an angry DM cooks up for him to face.
 

Edena, there's also something that's officially sanctioned (well, mechanically, at least): Do what you said above, only that you're granting these characters inherent bonuses to ability scores - e.g., a 1st-level wizard with a +3 (or +5, if using scrolls or a second Wiz17) inherent bonus to Int... :D
 


Nightfall said:
I'd just sleep with the Dm...(if said DM's a she). It's much easier. :)

Done that, but i did not do it for extra feats!! I did it because man is she freaking Hot!!!!

Nothing like a coed-naked ex-cheerleader, that rivals most models from a little town girl.......as my Dm in my 1st 2 years of college!!!

Go Bucks!
 

Wikidogre:

Also, back then (as I'm assuming that his was a couple years before 3e), there were no feats in (A)D&D anyway, right? Which would have made it a moot point... :cool:
 

Darkness said:
Wikidogre:

Also, back then (as I'm assuming that his was a couple years before 3e), there were no feats in (A)D&D anyway, right? Which would have made it a moot point... :cool:

Of Course!:D

I still needed to point that out!! sorry
 

Wikidogre said:


Done that, but i did not do it for extra feats!! I did it because man is she freaking Hot!!!!

Nothing like a coed-naked ex-cheerleader, that rivals most models from a little town girl.......as my Dm in my 1st 2 years of college!!!

Go Bucks!


LIIIIIAAAARRRRRR!!! LIAAAARRRR!!!!
 

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