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Message: <blockquote data-quote="StalkingBlue" data-source="post: 1076676" data-attributes="member: 645">Azure Trance and Volaran have good suggestions for handling the XP facet of the problem.  There's another - well actually, there are many more.  But let me say this because it reminds me of myself:  From the way you post, it sounds as if you are shaken by the player's attack.  (Forgive me if I go totally off track here.) I started out being very sensitive in situations like that when I first DMed ...Personal attacks hurt.  Personal attacks are unfair.  Whatever this player thinks about your decision to award extra XP to some players (and not to him), he had no right to attack you personally.  So he threatens not to play under you any more.  Maybe he is serious.  Maybe not.  It may just have been an angry moment.  Even if he is serious, he can never undo what you did in preparing and running the adventure for the group.  You are right:  DMing is a hell of a lot of work - in preparation and also during the actual session, when you have to concentrate every single minute.  However, you cannot force him to acknowledge your effort if he does not want to.  To staqrt feeling better, get feedback from the other players.  Ask them what they liked about your adventure, then ask what they didn't like so much.  Accept the praise.  Learn from the criticism.  It will make you stronger as a DM.  Make yourself feel strong first.  When you feel strong (after you have received and thought about, slept about their comments), contact the aggressive player.  Do this one-on-one if you can:  talk to him alone, or e-mail him.  Let him know that personal attacks are unacceptable.  Also let him know that you are willing to listen to reasonable criticism.  If you manage to defuse the situation, he may come out with surprisingly constructive criticism. (For example, many groups don't like giving out individual XP awards because it may make individual players feel punished or left out. I don't like to give out individual XP awards for that very reason.  Don't let that keep you from it if you think otherwise.  It's perfectly legitimate to give out extra XP - if you are unsure, post a poll about it on this board.  <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />  ) If he doesn't grow reasable once you contact him from a position of strength, well, let's face it:  not all players are born to play under all DMs.  He may not wish to play under you in the future.  If the other players enjoy your DMing style, shrug and let him go.</blockquote>

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