I made a monster - looking for some cretiques

Sanzuo

First Post
I'm planning on having my party of 16th level PCs encounter this thing. Check it out and please give me your thoughts. What do you like about it? What do you not like about it? What should I add/take away and so on?

If your name is Iron Sky or Volabit then you may close this thread and back away now!


[sblock]

The Emerald Queen is a powerful eladrin mage with her own domain in the fey wild. She's manipulative, megalomaniacal and crazy.

I made her an elite because I don't plan on the fight dragging out too long, I want it to be fast and dangerous. But I did give her some solo-like abilities. Take note of her aura and Banshee Queen transformation. Also she WILL have many allies on her side to hopefully help keep some of the PCs off of her.

emeraldqueen.png


[/sblock]

What do you think?

EDIT: Doggammit - Critiques!!!
 
Last edited:

log in or register to remove this ad

I like the array of powers quite a bit. I hope she'll be encountered in a place that has lots of interesting terrain and allies to move people into.

Unfortunately, she's way too tough. If you want her to be a pseudo-solo and just 'know' that she's got the equivalent hp of two elites (normal hp, plus half hp with insubstantial) _and_ an aura that negates at least 1/4 or more of the attacks against her, then all is fine... though shes a total bitch to melee. On top of that she dominates a bit and presumably teleports enemies into positions where they can't really attack her, which further removes damage against her.

Of course, you _could_ make her a solo and leave her literally untouched in toughness and it'd work. At that point I'd tweak upwards her abilities so she could use more per round - like maybe change her ranged attack so she could attack one target as a minor action kinda thing.

Great start, though.
 

Ok you have stated that this is an important (solo style) confrontation, that the Queen is supposed to be a serious threat, and that she will have many allies. You have alos stated that she will be used against a level 16 party.

Here are my initial thoughts on the creature.

HPs and Stats:
From the creatures stats I would have expected:
HPs: 336
Fortitude: 27; Reflex: 30; Will: 31

The HPs is a special case because she is doing something unusual when dead, i.e. comming back but I will cover that later.

Her Will defence seems a little high, even with MMI creation I would have had her at 33 max, in this case I think that 32 is probably high enough.

The +5 to saves vs. charm is in keeping with her race, so that is a nice touch.

Anima of Peace
I have done something similar in the past, but not quite to your extreme. This is a really strong power and one that your players might not like as there is nothing they can really do about it (especially melee characters). Personally I would change it so that any enemy starting their turn inside the zone must make a save, on fail they cannot make an attack that includes the Queen until the start of their next turn. This would still allow them to attack other creatures, and would mean that they could still move in and attack which encourages tactical movement.

The way you have the power at the moment is pretty much the equivalent of a stun, and might not be fun in actual play.

Longsword
Nothing wrong there.

Fey Missiles
This is probably the Queen default attack, and is spread out. I think I would increase the damage to 2d8+7 because she cannot use this to focus fire.

Thunderwave
Nothing wrong there I suppose. I might be tempted to make this a recharge 5,6 power, increase it to blast 5 and increase the damage to 2d10+7.

General note - all her at will attacks doing the same damage is a little dull, but I don't think anyone would really notice this during play.

Dominating Gaze
Well a close blast 5 dominate is a powerful effect. If this was a solo creature with no back-up I would think it was a perfectly acceptable power. But as you have said that there will be other creatures in the encounter this could case some problems.

Having said that, it might not, its a tough call to make without knowing your group and the other creatures in the encounter.

Having it recharge when bloodied is also adding to its power, but if you feel it is OK the first time it is probably OK the second time.

If I was going to change this power I would make it a single target attack, with a recharge of 5,6. It would still be powerful, as it could be used several time during the encounter, I would also keep the on bloodied recharge.

Fey Step
This is a powerful Fey creature, remove this power and give her a teleport speed of 5.

Bloodied Surge
Fair enough.

Death Curse
This is where you might have gone slightly mad.

Going back to HPs - I would expect this creature to have 336 HPs (total)

You have 285 HPs, then on death rise again at bloodied level, but with insubstantial (which is effectively worth twice the HPs) so your creature has: 285 + (142 x2) = 569 HPs.

If this creature was a solo (MMII) I would expect about 672 HPs (total), so your creature is approach solo level HPs for elite value XP.

What I might do in this situation is change the HPs to
standard - 252 HPs (bloodied 126)
rise again - 60 HPs (insubstantial)

Banshee Shriek
I think that burst 10 is probably overkill, especialy because it is a zone. I think that burst 5 would be lot more reasonable.

However I think you should really have her rise as a different type of creature, as it keeps the encounter interesting. Having her rise as a brute or a skirmisher with a whole new power list would be a lot more exciting and fun.

Anyway these are my initial thoughts and opinions. I hope they help.
 

I like the array of powers quite a bit. I hope she'll be encountered in a place that has lots of interesting terrain and allies to move people into.

Me too!

Unfortunately, she's way too tough. If you want her to be a pseudo-solo and just 'know' that she's got the equivalent hp of two elites (normal hp, plus half hp with insubstantial) _and_ an aura that negates at least 1/4 or more of the attacks against her, then all is fine... though shes a total bitch to melee. On top of that she dominates a bit and presumably teleports enemies into positions where they can't really attack her, which further removes damage against her.

Yea, I totally see where you're coming from - I should mention she has 15% less HP than a normal elite her level would have.

Also she's a bit custom-tailored to my specific group. These guys drop monsters FAST (3 strikers in the party) plus we rolled stats at the beginning of the campaign which ended up with some really broken arrays. What I'm saying is my group dishes out a bit more than the average group of their level.

I can see her aura as being a bit frustrating, though. I was proud of it when I thought of it, but now I think it might be annoying. My main concern is at least two of the party members basically have abilities that can instantly take a monster out of the fight. I have problems coming up with ways to counteract those abilities without making them useless.

Of course, you _could_ make her a solo and leave her literally untouched in toughness and it'd work. At that point I'd tweak upwards her abilities so she could use more per round - like maybe change her ranged attack so she could attack one target as a minor action kinda thing.

Yea, I really thought about this as well. The only problem I have with making her a solo is my fear of the fight taking way too long and falling into a grindfest. Her abilities to shrug off attacks and damage would be amplified with solo hit points.

I kind of like her power economy as it is, especially the dominating power. But I like your suggestions too.
 

Anima of Peace
I have done something similar in the past, but not quite to your extreme. This is a really strong power and one that your players might not like as there is nothing they can really do about it (especially melee characters). Personally I would change it so that any enemy starting their turn inside the zone must make a save, on fail they cannot make an attack that includes the Queen until the start of their next turn. This would still allow them to attack other creatures, and would mean that they could still move in and attack which encourages tactical movement.

The way you have the power at the moment is pretty much the equivalent of a stun, and might not be fun in actual play.

Actually, your description is how the power is suppose to work. I like your clarification better so I will update it as such.

Fey Missiles
This is probably the Queen default attack, and is spread out. I think I would increase the damage to 2d8+7 because she cannot use this to focus fire.

It also teleports. I'm merely going with the DMG's suggestion that controllery powers should use the low damage column, but a bit more hurt wouldn't hurt... er, I guess.

Thunderwave
Nothing wrong there I suppose. I might be tempted to make this a recharge 5,6 power, increase it to blast 5 and increase the damage to 2d10+7.

This is exactly how I had it originally, but I changed it for some reason. Probably keeping in flavor with the power as a wizard at-will. I will consider this.

Dominating Gaze
Well a close blast 5 dominate is a powerful effect. If this was a solo creature with no back-up I would think it was a perfectly acceptable power. But as you have said that there will be other creatures in the encounter this could case some problems.

Having said that, it might not, its a tough call to make without knowing your group and the other creatures in the encounter.

Having it recharge when bloodied is also adding to its power, but if you feel it is OK the first time it is probably OK the second time.

If I was going to change this power I would make it a single target attack, with a recharge of 5,6. It would still be powerful, as it could be used several time during the encounter, I would also keep the on bloodied recharge.

Again, I like your suggestion. My problem with dominate is I love the ability, but it basically is a stun. What would you say to me going by your suggestion of making it a single target recharge, but ALSO making it a minor action?

Fey Step
This is a powerful Fey creature, remove this power and give her a teleport speed of 5.

Yea, good idea.

Death Curse
This is where you might have gone slightly mad.

I know, I was cackling to myself the whole time I was thinking about it.

It's a bit messy and you're absolutely right that I should just make it another creature entirely, that would solve the problem of the inadequate xp.

As far as the HPs, again I totally see your concern. But these guys are nuts! They took out a Balor when they were level 15. Hell, one guy does 30+ automatic damage a round just if you stand next to him. Another guy crits in the triple digits. I think I'll take a chance and leave her slightly beefy. I think she'll need it.

Mesh Hong you are awesome at critiques!
 

Fey Missiles
This is probably the Queen default attack, and is spread out. I think I would increase the damage to 2d8+7 because she cannot use this to focus fire.

It also teleports. I'm merely going with the DMG's suggestion that controllery powers should use the low damage column, but a bit more hurt wouldn't hurt... er, I guess.

Yes you are correct that controllers should generally use the low damage expression. But this is an important elite creature, and should be more of a threat. Normally an elite will be able to do at least a double attack which can target the same PC with 2 or more attacks. In this case your tripple attack is spread out to 3 targets so in order to maintain a certain level of threat I pushed the damage to the medium expression.

Thunderwave
Nothing wrong there I suppose. I might be tempted to make this a recharge 5,6 power, increase it to blast 5 and increase the damage to 2d10+7.

This is exactly how I had it originally, but I changed it for some reason. Probably keeping in flavor with the power as a wizard at-will. I will consider this.

My advice would be to not get hung up on using PC powers for monsters, they simply use different rules and systems. Certainly take a PC power as inspiration, but not for damage calculation.

Dominating Gaze
Well a close blast 5 dominate is a powerful effect. If this was a solo creature with no back-up I would think it was a perfectly acceptable power. But as you have said that there will be other creatures in the encounter this could case some problems.

Having said that, it might not, its a tough call to make without knowing your group and the other creatures in the encounter.

Having it recharge when bloodied is also adding to its power, but if you feel it is OK the first time it is probably OK the second time.

If I was going to change this power I would make it a single target attack, with a recharge of 5,6. It would still be powerful, as it could be used several time during the encounter, I would also keep the on bloodied recharge.

Again, I like your suggestion. My problem with dominate is I love the ability, but it basically is a stun. What would you say to me going by your suggestion of making it a single target recharge, but ALSO making it a minor action?

(general advice) If you love something that much, make sure you are not over using it.

If you are going to make it a minor action then just reduce the damage a bit. 3d6+6 might be a bit more reasonable, while still being dangerous.

Death Curse
This is where you might have gone slightly mad.

I know, I was cackling to myself the whole time I was thinking about it.

It's a bit messy and you're absolutely right that I should just make it another creature entirely, that would solve the problem of the inadequate xp.

You might have misunderstood me, have it rise as a creature with a different stat block, but this is still part of the original creature and is already covered by teh original creatures XP value.

As far as the HPs, again I totally see your concern. But these guys are nuts! They took out a Balor when they were level 15. Hell, one guy does 30+ automatic damage a round just if you stand next to him. Another guy crits in the triple digits. I think I'll take a chance and leave her slightly beefy. I think she'll need it.

Well it is impossible to judge the power range of your group, only you can do that. I can only make suggestions on the information I am given. If your level 15 group defeated a level 27 elite then you have pretty much blown the expectations of the system out of the water.

- How did they hit the 42 AC?
 

- How did they hit the 42 AC?

By not having to. They optimized their automatic damage to such a degree that they whittled the thing down. Combined with the fact that one player got a lucky automatic hit with an encounter that effectively dazes the monster for the entire fight and that the cleric is a healing maestro and there were zones upon zones of healing and damage... the poor balor couldn't do enough damage to the defender even while hitting with every attack and the party eventually killed it.

I could go into greater detail and probably used better tactics, but they did beat it legitimately and enjoyed the hell out of their victory, so everything's good.

Edit: Also the rogue is the one who can crit in the triple digits, he also had a +23 to hit or something ridiculous and can target reflex. He crits on a 19-20 and definitely got one or two big hits during the fight.
 
Last edited:


I like it.

Did you have the chance to test it?

It seems she's a little bit strong for an Elite. The Warp Missiles at-will in particular.
And the second Action Point.

Also, I assume the Lurker she becomes afterwards is counted as a separate creature, is it?

A little detail: since the aura isn't "you don't attack" anymore, I suggest changing it's name to another one. Like "Aura of Charm" or "Close to the Beauty" or whatever.
 

I like it.

Did you have the chance to test it?

It seems she's a little bit strong for an Elite. The Warp Missiles at-will in particular.
And the second Action Point.

Also, I assume the Lurker she becomes afterwards is counted as a separate creature, is it?

A little detail: since the aura isn't "you don't attack" anymore, I suggest changing it's name to another one. Like "Aura of Charm" or "Close to the Beauty" or whatever.

I'm basically making a solo monster without solo hit points. My PCs are also a bit strong for PCs.

The lurker is technically a new monster that will appear as soon as the Emerald Queen is taken down. Sort of a "last hurrah" before she goes down for good.
 

Remove ads

Top