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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Droop-in-soup" data-source="post: 7953952" data-attributes="member: 7022302">Another short post from the 'problem-player'I hope people saw my prior, larger post before reading this, to know who I am and why I am sharing this context.The campaign log & picturesA piece I intended to mention, but forgot until now. There was mention of me dissing my friend over pictures, it requires some explanation to have any sense of it.  The context is mostly positive, that my friend created a log of our campaigns. At first, I experienced its amazing detail, and was daunted by it, out of a feeling that I didn't have the resources to contribute to it, and that I wasn't sure what purpose it could serve, so I did not respond much to getting shown the campaign log the first time.  That bummed him out.But the big positive is that more recently when introducing new players to our table, my friend pulled out a great map he created and then read from the campaign log, and the experience was quite surprising, fantastic really. In that experience I learned a very good reason for having such a shared log.  I didn't mean be cold with him over it when he showed it to me, I didn't know what he expected of me, and that was my own problem, and prevented any enthusiasm for it.But the pictures.  He expressed a lot of hurt over my reaction to the pictures.  That is unfortunate. This is how it is from my side.  Our campaigns included a number of characters.  For myself, I did not go too deeply into exactly how my characters look, but rather live into them in a vague and unique way that lives inside.  One day when I was shown some iteration of the campaign log, suddenly I had pictures for my characters and his characters.  From my experience, to put a description to it, it was jarring and abstract in a bad way, there was NO relation at all to my inner experience.  So, I'm sorry that I created another bummer experience for my friend.  That wasn't intended. But I can't be forced to get excited about something that was distinctly unwanted.For the sake of relating: I think if a reader were to tell me a name of one of your characters, and the class, and I sent you a picture I found in the internet, I expect we would relate to how foreign the experience would be to how actual characters live in our imagination.  That is the gist of it. He had enthusiasm for having pictures, and didn't ask me first if I wanted that, but asked me to come up with some picture of my choice. I could not relate to those pictures, nor did I want to. My inner pictures were meaningful to me, the pictures not so much. I didn't fake enthusiasm, and I didn't get angry, to my memory. I just was caught again off guard and was probably simple cold about it, as a natural response.  That was another perceived insult to my friend. The last word: my friend also asked me to draw pictures of my characters.  2 problems. The same as above, and that I don't have the time/energy for it.  I don't have my own motivation for it, really. Sorry.  Does that have to cause so much distress? I wish not.</blockquote>

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