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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Dungeonosophy" data-source="post: 7955613" data-attributes="member: 6688049">Welcome buddy. I admire your courage in wading in. Bold move! Well done.(Fine handle: Your "Droop" goblin sidekick really jumped into the "Soup" this time. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=";)" title="Wink    ;)"  data-smilie="2"data-shortname=";)" /> )There are two priority issues:1) That we remain good friends.2) That we as individuals, devote our time to what is nourishing (=fun), edifying (=virtue-building), and healthy (=sane). In my case, the question is whether (or how) I am able to game with you (and especially DM with you) without feeling crazy.I've already sent my best hand-written letter through the local post office. I have already decided that I cannot DM with you any more, barring an unprecedented change in character.What is an unprecedented change in character?***Some things you say here, seem to be a continuation of changeless misperceptions. Which I could and may (or may not) respond to in detail.For my part, I understand that the changes I mandated in my campaign, via the 13-point "New Way Forward" plan, back in February, were difficult for you. It was a big shift toward individuation. Some, but not all, of the points would've best been crafted via discussion. I had intended to actually sit down with you and go over (and possibly modify) the 13-point vision. Yet I took your emailed semi-agreement as good enough. That was a mistake, which could've been partly (though not totally) sidestepped though a face-to-face convo. I was tired of convo (as a gateway to negotiations and arguments), but that doesn't mean it wasn't a mistake to skip it.***Other things you say in this thread point to the possibility of genuine change, with a long will.In such a scenario, though you would not have to be absolutely perfect, I do know that it would be treacherous to go forward without anything less than a long-willed, consistent, steady practice of good faith. I'm speaking over a span of months and months, or year. Week in and week out.I wonder what accountability and support would help you to succeed, in the long will?Would others in the group best know the details of our troubles, so that they can be supportive of you? Or not?To help firm up our memory, would I or you need a newly written, less sharply worded, condensed, player-specific, inter-personal document, in hard copy? Or not?Would this thread of the E.N.World community continue to serve as a forum for long-term mediation and check-in?What outcome do I want now?What outcome do you want?***For the sake of honoring the wound between us, there's got to be a pause for reflection.In any case, a pause is mandated by outside (corona) circumstances.If New York weren't shut down, I would have no problem reading D&D fiction with you and the gang next Monday. In fact, I would be glad to. Or researching D&D-themed and Middle-earth-themed cardgames and boardgames to pick up and try out. (My nephew and I recently played a D&D cardgame called Dungeon Mayhem, and it was simply fun.) Or picking up some old or new D&D Endless Quest gamebooks (choose-your-own adventure novels), where we have a simple vote to decide what action to take. Thoughts of things like that do not strain my emotional wariness.Yet, as of today, thoughts of sitting down with you again at a Tabletop RPG which involves adjudication, does strain.I have not totally lost all interest in the array of the cool adventures I told you I was prepping, but the glow is very dim.-Travis</blockquote>

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