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I need bad D&D jokes! (my players stay out)
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<blockquote data-quote="Fred Delles" data-source="post: 511437" data-attributes="member: 3497"><p><strong>Two dumb ones.</strong></p><p></p><p>I was in the local troll butcher's shop the other day. Looking at a few choice selections, I asked him about a price discrepancy on various sentient brains. Apparently, human brains were 20 gp a pound, elf brains 15 gp per pound, and orc brains 300 gp per pound.</p><p></p><p>So, I told the troll butcher, "If human brains were 20 gp a pound and elf brains are 15 gp per pound then why are orc brains 300 gp per pound!?"</p><p></p><p>The troll laughs. "You know how many orcs I have to go through just to get a pound of brains!?"</p><p></p><p>--------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p></p><p>Lidda, Mialee, and Alhandra were out adventuring toward the Temple of Elemental Evil. But night broke, so they set up camp with a tent and sleeping bags. After a good meal and some wine, the three went to sleep.</p><p></p><p>Later, Mialee and Alhandra were outside, gazing out at the stars. Alhandra asks Mialee, "Mialee, look in the sky and tell me what you see."</p><p></p><p>"It is a clear night sky with many stars," Mialee replies.</p><p></p><p>"And what do you deduce from that?" Alhandra asks.</p><p></p><p>Mialee contemplates. "Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Krynn is near Tiamat. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that Corellon is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Alhandra?"</p><p></p><p>Alhandra slaps her face in disgust.</p><p></p><p>"Mialee, you IDIOT! Lidda stole our tent!"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fred Delles, post: 511437, member: 3497"] [b]Two dumb ones.[/b] I was in the local troll butcher's shop the other day. Looking at a few choice selections, I asked him about a price discrepancy on various sentient brains. Apparently, human brains were 20 gp a pound, elf brains 15 gp per pound, and orc brains 300 gp per pound. So, I told the troll butcher, "If human brains were 20 gp a pound and elf brains are 15 gp per pound then why are orc brains 300 gp per pound!?" The troll laughs. "You know how many orcs I have to go through just to get a pound of brains!?" -------------------------------------------------------------------- Lidda, Mialee, and Alhandra were out adventuring toward the Temple of Elemental Evil. But night broke, so they set up camp with a tent and sleeping bags. After a good meal and some wine, the three went to sleep. Later, Mialee and Alhandra were outside, gazing out at the stars. Alhandra asks Mialee, "Mialee, look in the sky and tell me what you see." "It is a clear night sky with many stars," Mialee replies. "And what do you deduce from that?" Alhandra asks. Mialee contemplates. "Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Krynn is near Tiamat. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that Corellon is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Alhandra?" Alhandra slaps her face in disgust. "Mialee, you IDIOT! Lidda stole our tent!" [/QUOTE]
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