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I need bad D&D jokes! (my players stay out)
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<blockquote data-quote="Torque" data-source="post: 515196" data-attributes="member: 1568"><p>After a long and fruitful adventuring career, Jozan decided to retire to the countryside, and bought himself a beautiful white horse to go riding. However, as a loyal servant of Pelor, he felt that the normal commands of "Giddyap" and "Whoa" were too pedestrian, so he trained the horse to go when he said "Praise Pelor!", and stop when he said "Amen".</p><p></p><p>One day Regdar came over to visit Jozan at his country estate. After reminescing for several hours about their adventures, Regdar asked if he could go for a ride. Jozan said "Of course, my friend, but there is something you must know about this horse before you go." Regdar replied "Bah, what's to know? I've ridden hundreds of horses." and without another word, he leaped into the saddle and kicked the horse in the ribs, sending it into a gallop.</p><p></p><p>Regdar had a very pleasant ride over the rolling hills and woodlands, and wasn't paying very close attention to what was going on around him. After a time, he noticed that the horse was headed straight for a 1000 foot cliff, and that the reins had slipped down until they were just out of his reach.</p><p></p><p>Not too worried yet, Regdar cried out "Whoa!", but the horse kept going full tilt. He tried shouting all the other commands he could think of, with equally little effect. </p><p></p><p>Finally, seeing no way he could avoid death, he began to pray, "Pelor, I know I haven't been a very devout follower, but I promise that if you get me out of this, I'll go to the temple every Godsday, and donate lots of gold to you, only let me survive somehow. Amen." With the last word, the horse skidded to a stop on the brink of the precipice. </p><p></p><p>Looking up at the sun with tears forming in his eyes, Regdar cried out "I have been saved! It's a miracle! Praise Pelor!"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Torque, post: 515196, member: 1568"] After a long and fruitful adventuring career, Jozan decided to retire to the countryside, and bought himself a beautiful white horse to go riding. However, as a loyal servant of Pelor, he felt that the normal commands of "Giddyap" and "Whoa" were too pedestrian, so he trained the horse to go when he said "Praise Pelor!", and stop when he said "Amen". One day Regdar came over to visit Jozan at his country estate. After reminescing for several hours about their adventures, Regdar asked if he could go for a ride. Jozan said "Of course, my friend, but there is something you must know about this horse before you go." Regdar replied "Bah, what's to know? I've ridden hundreds of horses." and without another word, he leaped into the saddle and kicked the horse in the ribs, sending it into a gallop. Regdar had a very pleasant ride over the rolling hills and woodlands, and wasn't paying very close attention to what was going on around him. After a time, he noticed that the horse was headed straight for a 1000 foot cliff, and that the reins had slipped down until they were just out of his reach. Not too worried yet, Regdar cried out "Whoa!", but the horse kept going full tilt. He tried shouting all the other commands he could think of, with equally little effect. Finally, seeing no way he could avoid death, he began to pray, "Pelor, I know I haven't been a very devout follower, but I promise that if you get me out of this, I'll go to the temple every Godsday, and donate lots of gold to you, only let me survive somehow. Amen." With the last word, the horse skidded to a stop on the brink of the precipice. Looking up at the sun with tears forming in his eyes, Regdar cried out "I have been saved! It's a miracle! Praise Pelor!" [/QUOTE]
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