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I need bad D&D jokes! (my players stay out)
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<blockquote data-quote="Zander" data-source="post: 518758" data-attributes="member: 1364"><p>What's the difference between an onion and an elf?</p><p></p><p>You cry when you cut an onion.</p><p>~~~</p><p></p><p>How many halflings does it take to change a light bulb (or kindle a chandelier)?</p><p></p><p>Six. It's over their heads.</p><p>~~~</p><p></p><p>What do you call 100 orcs in a lava flow?</p><p></p><p>A good start.</p><p>~~~</p><p></p><p>What do you call a dozen halflings in a fire?</p><p></p><p>Lunch.</p><p>~~~</p><p></p><p>What do you call a gargantuan monster that with 3 heads, 6 arms and 30 levels in fighter & wizard?</p><p></p><p>Sir.</p><p>~~~</p><p></p><p>Why do wizards wear pointy hats even though they have round heads, and elves wear round ear-muffs even though they have pointy ears?</p><p>~~~</p><p></p><p>Why do hobbits have hairy feet?</p><p></p><p>Because they don't shave them.</p><p>~~~</p><p></p><p>Why can't ettins make decisions?</p><p></p><p>Because they're in two minds.</p><p>~~~</p><p></p><p>Star Wars joke:</p><p></p><p>How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got him for Christmas?</p><p></p><p>He felt his presents.</p><p>~~~</p><p></p><p>Joke about gamers:</p><p></p><p>Jim, Al, Rob and Jerry, four middle-aged gamers, are in the middle of a D&D combat when a funeral cortege passes the building they're playing in. Just as he's about to throw his d20, Al notices the procession through the window. He stands up, removes his baseball cap, bows his head and shuts his eyes. After a brief moment of silent contemplation he returns to the game and rolls his d20. </p><p></p><p>"Gee," says Rob "I didn't know you were spiritual."</p><p>"Well," shrugs Al "we were married for 20 years."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Zander, post: 518758, member: 1364"] What's the difference between an onion and an elf? You cry when you cut an onion. ~~~ How many halflings does it take to change a light bulb (or kindle a chandelier)? Six. It's over their heads. ~~~ What do you call 100 orcs in a lava flow? A good start. ~~~ What do you call a dozen halflings in a fire? Lunch. ~~~ What do you call a gargantuan monster that with 3 heads, 6 arms and 30 levels in fighter & wizard? Sir. ~~~ Why do wizards wear pointy hats even though they have round heads, and elves wear round ear-muffs even though they have pointy ears? ~~~ Why do hobbits have hairy feet? Because they don't shave them. ~~~ Why can't ettins make decisions? Because they're in two minds. ~~~ Star Wars joke: How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got him for Christmas? He felt his presents. ~~~ Joke about gamers: Jim, Al, Rob and Jerry, four middle-aged gamers, are in the middle of a D&D combat when a funeral cortege passes the building they're playing in. Just as he's about to throw his d20, Al notices the procession through the window. He stands up, removes his baseball cap, bows his head and shuts his eyes. After a brief moment of silent contemplation he returns to the game and rolls his d20. "Gee," says Rob "I didn't know you were spiritual." "Well," shrugs Al "we were married for 20 years." [/QUOTE]
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