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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Harmon" data-source="post: 3746110" data-attributes="member: 24357">Couple of them (wonder if these will pass the Grandma test?  I will keep them as clean as I can, Mods- edit if I go past that line, plz)-Our local pizza joint (in my youth) didn't have sizes (small, medium, large, etc) instead they had diameter (6", 9", 12", etc) so one of my buddies calls and says- "I'd like a nine incher."  The response was- "wouldn't we all."  He dropped the phone, and walked away.Went to a friend's (same friend) 'my parents are out of town and I am throwing a party' party.  One of the guys orders a pizza then promptly passes out in the bath tub.  Pizza guy shows and wants his money.  He threatens us, and demands cash or else he'll call the cops (like a $10 pie and he wants $30 or something).  So while we are looking for the guy that ordered the pizza (to mug him to pay the extortion and for the pizza), one of the party goers little brother (without our knowledge) sneaks to the guys car and steals all his pies.  The passed out guy is found, his wallet grabbed, and taken to the front door- theres like twenty bucks in it, the pizza guy grabs it (wallet, money, ID, everything) and leaves.So pizza guy calls the cops- he's been robbed.The guy that ordered the pie wakes, someone has plugged the tub and he nearly drowns (drunk and stoned).We are eating pizza.The cops show for the second time, and talk to us, the guy that was robbed of his wallet is told the pizza guy came in and stole his wallet.  The pizza guy has the wallet in his passengers seat.  Guess who ends up in the back seat of a police car- yep, pizza guy.Ahh- reasons to not do drugs and drink.  Ya, stupid times.   :\ Ordered a pizza, the pizza guy was a little religious and saw that we had some kind of Satanic thing going on (dice, maps, character sheets, well light room, everyone clothed, sitting about a table with D&D books, etc) and felt the need to preach to us about the evils of D&D.  He ranted, one Player took the pizzas, and I paid the guy.  He ranted, and I said- "thank you, could you please direct the virgins through the side gate, they are needed in the back."Pizza guys car stayed outside for near an hour.   <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f600.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":D" title="Big grin    :D"  data-smilie="8"data-shortname=":D" /></blockquote>

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