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<blockquote data-quote="jbear" data-source="post: 5981121" data-attributes="member: 75065"><p>Hmm ... most responses seem to take it as a given that the issue is system specific. From what the OP describes the problem seems more player specific. I'm sure that many many people on the boards (and elsewhere) can testify that they don't encounter these problems using the same game mechanics (I'm guessing 3rd edition from the OPs comments). And that is because they will be playing with different players who don't cause the issues described.</p><p></p><p>My suggestion: In a calm manner in a one on one situation with the player tell them that the issues you mentioned are making the game not fun for you anymore. Remind him that even when you are DMing you are a player too, and that you want to be having fun. Tell him explicitly what it is that is killing your fun. Explicitly tell him the attitude/style you want to play the game. Lay down your non-negotiables: "No arguing over rules at the table: I don't care what the rules are, I care about fun". Ask him if he can get on board and support you in this. If he says yes, remind him of that each time similar issues arise during the game until the new desirable behaviour develops. If he says no ... well, either you are going to have to pack it in or send him packing.</p><p></p><p>The one time I straight out told my problem player that her behaviour was making the game unenjoyable for me, and told her explicitly my point of view and expectations for her and the game, the result was almost instantaneous. She not only got on board and backed me up, she became the most enthusiastic player (organising game nights and chasing people up to commit), and gave me full support when bickering began at the table amongst other players. It was a radical change and it was awesome.</p><p></p><p>Basically, share your feelings. They are valid. But your players can't do anything about it if they are not aware of them. Don't take for granted that they are.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbear, post: 5981121, member: 75065"] Hmm ... most responses seem to take it as a given that the issue is system specific. From what the OP describes the problem seems more player specific. I'm sure that many many people on the boards (and elsewhere) can testify that they don't encounter these problems using the same game mechanics (I'm guessing 3rd edition from the OPs comments). And that is because they will be playing with different players who don't cause the issues described. My suggestion: In a calm manner in a one on one situation with the player tell them that the issues you mentioned are making the game not fun for you anymore. Remind him that even when you are DMing you are a player too, and that you want to be having fun. Tell him explicitly what it is that is killing your fun. Explicitly tell him the attitude/style you want to play the game. Lay down your non-negotiables: "No arguing over rules at the table: I don't care what the rules are, I care about fun". Ask him if he can get on board and support you in this. If he says yes, remind him of that each time similar issues arise during the game until the new desirable behaviour develops. If he says no ... well, either you are going to have to pack it in or send him packing. The one time I straight out told my problem player that her behaviour was making the game unenjoyable for me, and told her explicitly my point of view and expectations for her and the game, the result was almost instantaneous. She not only got on board and backed me up, she became the most enthusiastic player (organising game nights and chasing people up to commit), and gave me full support when bickering began at the table amongst other players. It was a radical change and it was awesome. Basically, share your feelings. They are valid. But your players can't do anything about it if they are not aware of them. Don't take for granted that they are. [/QUOTE]
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