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Message: <blockquote data-quote="This Effin’ GM" data-source="post: 6724640" data-attributes="member: 6801323">Evandur Raulson is having a bad couple of days.He hasn't lost faith in his deity as much as he has lost faith in himself. How could he have interpreted the signs so incorrectly? What was the Dawnbringer trying to tell him. Evandur knew not. Despair and feelings of failure were his constant companion, depiste not being alone.A fellow Brother of the Lightblessed, Ezrean, had also been captured by the twisted subterranean elves. Mockeries of the surface elves, the drow were cruel, to say the least. In many circumstances, Evandur thought to himself, his paladin training and gifts from his deity would be more than enough to bear the pain. But with his recent ordeal, he wasn't so sure. He was unsure how Ezrean was faring, he hadn't yet talked to the dusky skinned half elf yet. He feared to. He didn't want his brother to see his own light so dim.Buppido was vaguely interesting. The claim that he is a God at first brought thoughts of disbelief to the Paladin's mind, but after a few days, he was humbled by the fact that the Gods have done all manner of strange things to assist in the affairs on the surface. He had considered speaking with the self styled "derro", but once Buppido mentioned the dreams and his plan, Evandur recoiled back to his now dormant self. The others were having dreams? Were they too chosen? Are these dreams even the work of Lathander, like he had believed for so long? What does this mean for me? Day by day, recall after recall, dream by dream, Evandur lost another piece of himself.Piercing through the fog in his mind and heart, he remembered vaguely the beatings he had recieved, the jeers from his captors at being "broken", the triumph in their voices from having bested a warrior of good. He knew he was breaking, but these drow were not a part of that. Happenstance, really. Thier pride was too much to see that.The murder of the mage by Sarith was a surprise. Had Evandur been in the right state of mind, he probably would have made a valiant stand in the confusion to escape and free the rest. He probably would have failed. He wasn't sure what would have happened, he doubted his own abilities so much lately. Was he being punished? Is this the cost of of hubris? No, during the confusion, Evandur just sat there, staring at the body of the mage, bloodied and beaten, his own light (however dark) extinguished. As Sarith was put in chains, Evandur said nothing. He made no judgements on the drow's actions. He knew not what could cause the drow to betray his own men, whether he sought power and saw an opportunity, or just merely did not take kindly to being bullied. In the end, their situation was unchanged despite the drow joining them. They were prisoners of the drow, a prison of shackles, drugs, and despair, the light of the sun further than ever."All a part of the plan." Evandur heard the Derro/"God" say at the sight of the drow in chains. If there was a plan, Evandur wasn't privy to it. He didn't know if he would be ready for one if there was. The derro had laughed, nearly maniacally. Evandur remembered aksing himself if perhaps the Gods were mad. Maybe Evandur hadn't been chosen by Lathander at all for any greater purpose. Maybe Evandur was just a stray ray of sunlight that was never meant to illuminate anything more than the small shadow of forgotten moment. At this thought, Evandur had spoken a single word of defiance, offending himself at the thought of the Dawnbringer being mad. Either mistaking his words as intended for them, or perhaps just drawing their attention in general by speaking for the first time, Evandur had been beaten particularly hard. He was pretty sure there would be scars from the lashes. These were nothing compared to the wounds he felt inside.He had always wanted to be a hero, like the knights he had seen in Cormyr. Instead, Evandur was here.</blockquote>

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