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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Agamon" data-source="post: 535349" data-attributes="member: 184">Rated PG; I don't think Eric's grandma will be offended:Star Trek: DoritosWritten By: AgamonThe film opens with some really annoying credits that make the audience's eyes hurt. After the credits, we see midgets screaming. This confuses the audience to no end. Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. Here, we see the TNG crew. They are eating cake in bed. This scene is lame. During this scene, Picard whines about being bald. The crew is then interrupted! As a result, the TNG crew must stop the Klingons. Thus, beginning their mission. When they arrive at this mission, Data thinks he is a woman. This scene is embarrassing. But suddenly, there is an action scene involving a battle with Ferengi! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately. Later on, Picard finds out that Gonzo is going to blow up Sol, and thus the plot of the film finally begins. Soon, a member of the TNG crew talks to T'Pal, who is recognized by many TNG fans, though this person doesn't really help the plot. Then, Gonzo, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Gonzo is not REALLY that bad, because he is a muppet. The crew then learns that Earth is in grave danger! And they must come to the rescue! A few minutes later, there is an embarrassing scene where Data sings 'Man, I Feel Like a Woman.' The audience groans. And later, Worf is even more embarrassing because he accidentally shoves his phasor up his nose. This ticks off many Klingon fans in the audience. Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, gets naked and starts chasing Data's cat. Unfortunately it doesn't help the plot. A little later, the crew trips over each other while trying to square dance. The audience doesn't laugh, however. Picard and his Away Team beams to the marsh. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite. Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film. Soon, the audience gets a feeling of Deja Vu, because a bald chick joins the crew. This seems verrrry familiar... Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'Kiss my ass!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy. The crew discovers that Gonzo has a star bomb! This makes things very dangerous! Then, one of the crewmembers says 'Not in the face!' Even though this makes no sense. In their attempts to stop Gonzo, Wesley's head implodes. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Gonzo. Soon, Riker shoots at a Romulan Warbird. But this accomplishes absolutely nothing. There is a final showdown in a nebula called The Big Ball o'Gas. In a fit of rage, Gonzo attempts to activate his star bomb! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him. Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Gonzo by ripping Gonzo's nose off and stabbing him with it. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily Picard's future self saves Picard at the last moment. Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with being bald. Picard then gives a boring speech about how the sun isn't all that useful anyways. The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space. The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack. THE END</blockquote>

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