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Message: <blockquote data-quote="ninthcouncil" data-source="post: 542212" data-attributes="member: 2566">Star Trek<img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f61b.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":P" title="Stick out tongue    :P"  data-smilie="7"data-shortname=":P" />rosthesisWritten By:ninthcouncilThe film opens with some really annoying credits that make the audience's eyes hurt. After the credits, we see three Vulcans eating a pie. This confuses the audience to no end. Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. Here, we see the TNG crew. They are having a pissing contest. This scene is lame. During this scene, Picard whines about his prostate problem. The crew is then interrupted! As a result, the TNG crew must rescue idiot Admiral Janeway from a stuck elevator. Thus, beginning their mission. When they arrive at this mission, Data eats his own head. This scene is embarrassing. But suddenly, there is an action scene involving Troi failing to open a peanut butter jar! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately. Later on, Picard finds out that that Data is not an android, that's just a big joke played by the rest of the crew, and thus the plot of the film finally begins. Soon, a member of the TNG crew talks to Neelix, who has his head stuck in a cow, who is recognized by many TNG fans, though this person doesn't really help the plot. Then, Slobodan Milosevic, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Slobodan Milosevic is not REALLY that bad, because just wants us all to love each other (especially him). The crew then learns that Jack Chick is in grave danger! And they must come to the rescue! A few minutes later, there is an embarrassing scene where Data sings 'Pretty Vacant.' The audience groans. And later, Worf is even more embarrassing because he is the only character who can't piss higher than Picard, dodgy prostate and all. This ticks off many Klingon fans in the audience. Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, succeeds in opening the jar of peanut butter. Unfortunately it doesn't help the plot. A little later, Wesley Criusher is forced to eat a huge jar of chili peppers by Geordi. The audience doesn't laugh, however. Picard and his Away Team beams to the volleyball court of a French nudist resort. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite. Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.Soon, the audience gets a feeling of Deja Vu. Because all the female characters wear unecessarily short skirts. This seems verrrry familiar... Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'Melonfarmers!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy. The crew discovers that Slobodan Milosevic has a clothes mangle! This makes things very dangerous! Then, one of the crewmembers says 'Donald, where's your troosers!' Even though this makes no sense. In their attempts to stop Slobodan Milosevic, the Enterprise accidentally vapourises the Exeter. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Slobodan Milosevic.Soon, Riker shoots at his own beard. But this accomplishes absolutely nothing. There is a final showdown in a nebula called Betty's Kitchen. In a fit of rage, Slobodan Milosevic attempts to activate his clothes mangle! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him. Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Slobodan Milosevic by injecting him with lard. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily Elvis Presley saves Picard at the last moment. Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with his prostate problem. Picard then gives a boring speech about wearing women's undergarments. The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space. The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.THE END--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Congratulations! You have now written a Next Generation movie that's just as good as the ones shown at theaters! Print this movie out and send it to Rick Berman!</blockquote>

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