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<blockquote data-quote="fireinthedust" data-source="post: 5871737" data-attributes="member: 51930">1)&nbsp; maybe don't use numbers for measurements:&nbsp; Leagues and Leagues to a side, or &quot;impossibly huge&quot; or &quot;the size of a continent&quot; can easily convey what you want while side-stepping factual issues.2)&nbsp; Goblins aren't playable but Orcs are?3)&nbsp; Changelings are OGL?&nbsp; Neat idea, but make sure.&nbsp; Too good a setting to get dinged for that.&nbsp; Ditto mentioning 4e rules points, not sure how that works.4)&nbsp; I like the art, mostly, at least some of them: the smiley girl with the third eye is great, but many of the racial pics could use more work (and are too far down the page as I'm scrolling).&nbsp; 5)&nbsp; Seems like a lot of detail on the pyramid, and the rest of the world is blank.&nbsp; I'd do most of my gaming outside the antarctic pyramid.6)&nbsp; Some of the races have alien roots.&nbsp; Why separate them from the aliens?&nbsp; Are they mutated humans, or aliens, or what?&nbsp; And how are the half-elves (who are offspring from humans and elves) the #3 race behind humans and dwarves?&nbsp; If they're derrivative, the elves would have to be up there.&nbsp; I think lots of folks would be upset that the Accord destroyed the Earth without consulting humanity.&nbsp; I'd be annoyed.&nbsp; I'm all about Star Trek-style growth, or enlightenment, but if someone dumps mutations on my world I'd be like &quot;hey!&quot;&nbsp;&nbsp; At least I'd have a lot of people who are NOT part of a faction: drifters, refugees, survivors.&nbsp; People who are just eeking out an existence as best they can.&nbsp; I think Evil shouldn't just be &quot;pragmatic&quot;.&nbsp; Why wouldn't they be the group that's aligned with the Void?&nbsp; Everyone else has Outsiders rooting for them.I really like the use of dying stars and black holes for powers.&nbsp; Interesting visual.&nbsp; Does space travel come into play?&nbsp; Where, then, does the Outer Plane fit?Reminds me a lot of Heavy Metal.&nbsp; I'm not sure you should constrict the setting to fulfil Pathfinder/D&amp;D &quot;isms&quot;.&nbsp; You don't need all the races, you could even have a method of making up new mutations packages, like through the PF races book.&nbsp; Unless they have cultures, that's what the races are: abilities packages.&nbsp; Currently it's just odd: are they mutations, or are they just the D&amp;D races?&nbsp; Look up the d20 Future and d20 Apocalypse books.&nbsp; Really relevant to what you're doing, and you could likely port a lot over (OGL, I think, so good for your book).You don't need the alignments: just use factions.&nbsp; It'll be less confusing, and you can be more specific.&nbsp; Why say &quot;evil&quot; when it could just be &quot;Accord-aligned&quot;.&nbsp; Lawful implies organization, unlike &quot;chaotic&quot;, which is really just &quot;anti-accord&quot; as opposed to &quot;let's blow stuff up&quot;.&nbsp; Using a familiar name for something it isn't will confuse folks a lot, and make using the setting harder.&nbsp; IMHO, of course, as are all my comments, and without much meditation on it.&nbsp; As you will, as always.&nbsp; <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile&nbsp; &nbsp; :)"&nbsp; data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />Otherwise, I want to see more!</blockquote>

[QUOTE="fireinthedust, post: 5871737, member: 51930"] 1) maybe don't use numbers for measurements: Leagues and Leagues to a side, or "impossibly huge" or "the size of a continent" can easily convey what you want while side-stepping factual issues. 2) Goblins aren't playable but Orcs are? 3) Changelings are OGL? Neat idea, but make sure. Too good a setting to get dinged for that. Ditto mentioning 4e rules points, not sure how that works. 4) I like the art, mostly, at least some of them: the smiley girl with the third eye is great, but many of the racial pics could use more work (and are too far down the page as I'm scrolling). 5) Seems like a lot of detail on the pyramid, and the rest of the world is blank. I'd do most of my gaming outside the antarctic pyramid. 6) Some of the races have alien roots. Why separate them from the aliens? Are they mutated humans, or aliens, or what? And how are the half-elves (who are offspring from humans and elves) the #3 race behind humans and dwarves? If they're derrivative, the elves would have to be up there. I think lots of folks would be upset that the Accord destroyed the Earth without consulting humanity. I'd be annoyed. I'm all about Star Trek-style growth, or enlightenment, but if someone dumps mutations on my world I'd be like "hey!" At least I'd have a lot of people who are NOT part of a faction: drifters, refugees, survivors. People who are just eeking out an existence as best they can. I think Evil shouldn't just be "pragmatic". Why wouldn't they be the group that's aligned with the Void? Everyone else has Outsiders rooting for them. I really like the use of dying stars and black holes for powers. Interesting visual. Does space travel come into play? Where, then, does the Outer Plane fit? Reminds me a lot of Heavy Metal. I'm not sure you should constrict the setting to fulfil Pathfinder/D&D "isms". You don't need all the races, you could even have a method of making up new mutations packages, like through the PF races book. Unless they have cultures, that's what the races are: abilities packages. Currently it's just odd: are they mutations, or are they just the D&D races? Look up the d20 Future and d20 Apocalypse books. Really relevant to what you're doing, and you could likely port a lot over (OGL, I think, so good for your book). You don't need the alignments: just use factions. It'll be less confusing, and you can be more specific. Why say "evil" when it could just be "Accord-aligned". Lawful implies organization, unlike "chaotic", which is really just "anti-accord" as opposed to "let's blow stuff up". Using a familiar name for something it isn't will confuse folks a lot, and make using the setting harder. IMHO, of course, as are all my comments, and without much meditation on it. As you will, as always. :) Otherwise, I want to see more! [/QUOTE]

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