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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Eeralai" data-source="post: 1522720" data-attributes="member: 15008">I'd like to post my thoughts on MacBeth's second story.  Actually, I would like to compare his second and third story because any comparison to BSF's third story would probably be biased <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />I like the premise for MacBeth's third story a great deal, but I think his second story is better written.  For me, it is probably because the second story is all about the development of a character.  It is unrelated to the d20 world, and instead it concentrates on growing from a child to an adult in a very metaphorical way.  I really had a since of the character's anguish and thought it all too real that people were trying to squash his imagination.  It was well done and something I hope he expands upon.The third story, as I said, had a great premise, but I was not as intrigued with the main character.   I knew right away who the djinn was, and I felt like the main character should have had more of an inkling than he did.  It would be neat to see this story with more character depth and posted in the Kiln Fired thread.  I was impressed with the picture use in both stories and the fact that they were written in three days blows me away.  And I must interject that the speed at which BSF wrote his last two stories was astounding to me.  The second one particularly because he did not have as clear of an idea for it when he sat down to begin it as he did the other two.As far as grammar and spelling, the best thing to do is have somebody else look at it.  But in the time frame you guys have to work with, that is sometimes impossible to do.</blockquote>

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