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Message: <blockquote data-quote="James Heard" data-source="post: 1962112" data-attributes="member: 7280">Ok, I really don't have any clue what I'm doing. I'm just trying to do something similar to what everyone else is doing. First PbP and all that.Not so long ago, somewhere in Polaria"It's beautiful isn't it, 'Lyndie?""Yes M'Lord, of course M'Lord."All around them was a landscape awash in white, excepting the brightly colored clothing of the two individuals standing - and the swath of black blood from their companion, eyes covered in hoarfrost and staring blankly upwards."I've been here before, did I tell you? Once. Some Aerdian fellows around here, somewhere. Idiots, but less boorish than the sorts you normally find in Rauxes. They've been infected.""Infected?""Gnomes."Murlynd grimaced as if he'd swallowed something unpleasant."Oh hush. They're perfectly respectable. And good cooks too, you'll like it here.""I'd rather find a wife on the Isle of the Ape." ***"You're going to do WHAT?""I've decided to become a king. I was a mayor once, did I tell you? Can't be too much different than being a mayor, less dealing with the homeless even. I'd make a fine king. I was even a mayor, a long time ago. Did I ever tell you, 'Lyndie?"The silent groan of Murlynd pronounced itself like an unpleasant smell in a small room."Oh hush. I'm going to make you a general. Weren't you a general once?""No M'Lord, I've ever been as I am.""Well then, it's time you made something of your life. A man's got to have some manner of feeding his family. Do you have a family, 'Lyndie? I'm not sure if I have any, but I must have. Or maybe a cat. I like cats, though they make me sneeze. Say, whatever happened to that striking young lady that was with us? I liked her. Healthy. You should eat more Murlynd, you're getting thin. You know what I always say, 'Never trust a thin paladin." I don't know why I say that, but it must be true. Right, 'Lyndie?"A young rosy cheeked gnomish lad with an almost painfully bright mop of blonde hair burst into the room."M'Lords! The race is about to begin!""Do you have that harness on yet 'Lyndie?"The paladin set a glare upon the mad archmage dark enough to freeze the pale heart of Polaria even further, to absolutely no effect. The gnomish boy's eyes were as big as saucers."You see 'Lyndie, if I win this race I become king," the archmage said without seeming to notice his companion's discomfort whatsoever. He shrugged on an enormous parka till his arms were so encumbered that they could not even drop to his sides.Murlynd shook his head and followed his liege out into the snow, pausing only when Zagyg made a few overly elaborate (and mostly unnecessary passes) with his hand - playing up to the crowd - and felt his shape shift and he sat back onto his furry haunches.Absently Zagyg scratched him behind the ears."I was mayor once, did I tell you?" ***"Bah! Bah, and fire I say! Whose bright idea was this? Murlynd? Did you enchant me while I was drunk, you devil! This is ludicrous, how can anyone expect to get any work done with people always interru-"An insipid looking loxo with rubies meticulously picked into the ivory of his tusks casually sauntered into the throne room and almost challengingly dropped to his knees and abased himself without ever so much as looking as if he was doing Zagyg a favor for doing it."Your Majesty. Devils outside to meet you. Thought you should know," as he picked himself up off the floor the heavyset loxo scratched himself and sauntered out of the room without even a by-your-leave or a "Goodbye, Your Majesty.""YOU SEE! This is madness! I swear 'Lyndie, the next time you come up with one of these hairbrained schemes I'm going to turn you into a saltlick and feed you to - 'Lyndie, put that away! There's no need to settle this with violence!""Devils, M'Lord. He said devils." After checking to make sure he was loaded, his blade Progress had naturally come into his hand almost unbidden."Ah. Yes. Should we invite them in?"Murlynd rolled his eyes and then pointedly glanced down at his sword."Ah.""Well, let's go down and meet them. Should be interesting. Did I ever tell you about the time I got engaged to a devil 'Lyndie? I wonder whatever happened to her? Healthy girl. Strong bones, and great big-" the archmage had started to wander over to the buffet until Murlynd stepped in close in front of him."Devils," he hissed."Aye. Are we going to kill them?"Murlynd closed his eyes tightly and counted to one hundred. By the end he was rubbing his temples and nursing a decidedly godlike headache."Yes M'Lord. We're going to kill them," he said in a tone suggesting conspiracy. "Or worse.""Worse?""Yes. We might hold them prisoner.""Oh come now, how would that be worse?""You could interrogate them. Every day.""Ah. Clever that, press their secrets from them?"The paladin looked away noncommitally."Something like that M'Lord.""SPLENDID! I shall like that. I once had a castle 'Lyndie, somewhere. A fine one, except for this unpleasant fellow that smelled like bad cheese. Uz or Iz or Pez. Something like that. Unpleasant as hell, teeth like a badger that liked to gnaw on his own behind."The two walked down the grand staircase to meet with devils.</blockquote>

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