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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Nifft" data-source="post: 4976551" data-attributes="member: 6562">Quite a spread of PC levels for the entries in this match, and quite a spread in entry length. Also, I had to look up a bunch of stuff, in my 3.5e books, and on Wikipedia.Let's hit the ingredients first:Bottomless PitCNN: Quote, "a mid-level party of adventurers could reach the bottom of the pit easily", unquote. That's no bottomless pit. The pool of water nearby where the PCs are? Sure, that could kinda be a bottomless pit, and it has a cool description, but it doesn't figure in the story. It's just window-dressing.IVV: The bottomless pit is again a pool of water, so it could be quibbled that it's not much of a pit, but it is bottomless, and it is a plot-point. It's connected to the tree-token, the beetles, and it's a still-beating heart disposal unit.Still Beating HeartFine element use all around.Dragon SlayerNot great element use here.CNN: The sword isn't bad in itself, but it's just kinda there.IVV: The beetles could kill dragons, but so far, they're merely dragonnibblers.Interrupted CommunicationsPlot hook in both cases. Poor use -- only technically in the story. IVV has the edge by having the communication interrupted by a beetle swarm.Beetle SwarmGood use in both entries.CNN: I love the beetle-dragon's breath weapon. Very evocative.IVV: Creative riff on a monster I'd never heard of before. Plausible patron-bane (i.e. good excuse for why the big damn dragon doesn't just go fix the problem himself).5 Quaal's Feather TokensCNN: The tokens you gave out weren't necessary to the plot, nor connected well to the other elements of the scenario.IVV: Stellar use of five classic tokens.Now, for the particular criticisms.InVinoVeritas, I don't have a good feel for how your cavern ought to be laid out, which parts go where exactly. But the parts that are there are very nice.The use of a tree token to "poison" the heart makes no sense, but I'm willing to overlook that, simply because in every group I've ever been in, someone always tries to cause a fatality with a Quaal's Feather Token (Tree). And it always works (once).CleverNickName, the stat blocks don't really help. Especially the ridiculous bits, like some of the 20 HD dragon-beetle: he has up to 23 ranks, his size penalty is -8, his dex gives him another -1, yet he has a +22 Hide check? He has no Climb speed, but he's on the ceiling?The one question I wanted answered about the mummy priest was: how hard is it going to be for the PCs to wrestle her still-beating heart back into her body while she's still kicking? It might not occur to the party that they can defeat her (even temporarily).You brought up the classic Anubis heart-vs-feather weighing thing. You had five feathers and one heart as ingredients. I'm very sad these things weren't brought together. I mean, imagine the look on his jackal face when a giant goddamn tree sprouted from his scale.From the Pharaoh's sword-point "adventure hook" to the NPC priest who tells the party exactly what to do, I feel the plot is a bit heavy-handed in keeping the PCs on the rails.- - -The winner of this match is InVinoVeritas.</blockquote>

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