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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Pbartender" data-source="post: 5203756" data-attributes="member: 7533">Last Day of Chih XuanFoppish dandy:  **½In the Last Day of Chih Xuan (LDCX), the foppish dandy mainly takes form as the three brothers Czevak, Vadasz, and Varkuda.  V & V get a lot of exposition on this count during the journey to the orchard, but it has little bearing on adventure itself.  Czevak's current foppishlessness, on the other hand, is the primary clue that he's possessed by a demon, though only through the heresay of his brothers…  Having the change in personality happen before the eyes of the PCs would have been a more compelling clue and hook into the adventure. Collapsing bridge: *The collapsing bridge never really makes an appearance in LDCX.  It's included as a bit of back story as to the location of the battle where the demon possesses Czevak, but isn't an integral location to the adventure itself.  Furthermore, the players only ever hear about the bridge second hand.A metaphorical explanation for the collapsing is included at the end of the adventure, but it is in all honesty rather weak…  Especially since the orchard itself could have been considered a supernatural bridge, due to its mysterious ability to act as a transportation portal to the orchards of the distant Chih estates and back.Demon, Type V: **½LDCX uses the updated name of the Type V Demon, “marilith”.  She’s the antagonist of the adventure, plotting to defile the Orchard of Chih Xuan and usurp it’s power for herself, although it’s never really explained why she wants to do that.  She’s a fairly typical villain plotting evil for no other apparent reason other than to be evil and gain power.Her actions are a little erratic, though.  Notably, she’s mercilessly kills and mutilates everyone who stands in her way, except when she’s faced with Chih Xuan himself.  She inexplicably resorts to trying to scare him to death, when she could simply wring his neck and be done with it.The “type V” bit incidentally shows up in an old reference book about demons and as a vague clue about Czevak’s possession.Apotheosis: ***The artist, Chih Xuan, has a supernaturally close connection with the extraordinary plum orchard, that will apparently allow him to ascend to some form of godhood when he dies.  Rukxillana, the demon, has a plan to kill him prematurely and possess him in order to gain power.Hungover mountain range: ****The mountains where the plums grow are home to a host of fey creatures and spirits that represent the mountain range.  Rukxilanna slips them a collective mickey to keep them out of the way while she executes her plan.  Using the fey spirits as a proxy for intoxicating the mountain range was very clever, but a bit of exposition as to why the needed to be both appeased with an offering by the princes and drugged into a stupor by the demon would have been the icing on the cake.Plum dumplings: *½Plum dumplings make a handful of minor appearances in this adventure, none of them especially significant.  Mainly, they serve as an excuse for the PCs to travel to the orchard with the princes.  The adventure instead focuses on the plum orchard in place of the dumplings.Playability **The playability of this adventure suffers form one glaring problem…  That the players don’t seem to have a whole lot to do.  Most of the important and interesting developments happen before the adventure starts, off-stage or through NPCs.  The only time the players truly get to take control of the action is at the end, when they must fight Rukxillana.Another weakness is the fact that the adventure really has three different plots – Trebova’s murder mystery, the journey to collect plums, and Rukxillana’s plot to destroy the orchard -- that are only loosely connected.  Instead of focusing on one of them, PCs have their hands held through two of them to get to the third.This relates to Radiating Gnome’s previous observation concerning extensive adventure back stories that the players never get to interact with.  You risk having the majority of the story happen outside the adventure, and leaving the PCs with little do but watch things happen or hear about them having happened.Style **½Two things stand out, here…  The spirits of the mountain drugged through subterfuge, and the strange shortcut from Moravsky to the Chih estates through the Plum Orchard.  Both are fascinating ideas, and need only a bit of fleshing out to turn them into truly memorable points in the adventure.  The ascension of Chih Xuan is a third contender, however few details are provided as to the whats, hows and whys of the apotheosis.The rest of the adventure seems a bit scattered.  Focusing in on those two or three solid points and cutting out much of the extraneous back story (or integrating it into the action of the adventure) would really tighten the adventure up.Hanging Plum Garden CityFoppish dandy: ****Hanging Plum Garden City (HPGC) focuses on the dandiness of the princely ruler of the city.  A stereotypically beautiful spoiled rich kid, he extends his vainglory to the his palace and the city itself.  It is this ostentatious display that attracts both the appreciation of the gods and the jealousy of the demons in the valley. It gives purpose to the villain.Collapsing bridge: ****In HPGC the collapsing bridge is not just the ultimate goal of the demoness' plot to claim the orchard, but also the site of the prince's palace.  It serves as motivation for the plot, and as a central, evocative location.Demon, Type V: **½Again, we have a fairly straight-forward demonic villain.  Xi-no-mei, the marilith, is equally as vain as the prince and terribly jealous of him, his city and his plums to boot.  She’s looking to foul up his chance at becoming a god and then destroy his bridge, his city and everything else he holds dear.Now, while technically she is a marilith, I find it rather disappointing that HPGC doesn’t even do lip service to the fact that she’s a “Demon, Type V”, which is, after all, the ingredient and not “marilith”.  Be careful about how you try to pull that stunt in the future…  Some ingredients are better suited to it than others.Apotheosis: ***The prince has to make something fantastic out of the celestial plums, and he gets to be a god.  Amongst other things, it gives Xi-no-mei an excuse to be jealous of him, and gives one more motivation for her to plot against him.I find it odd, however, that the prince doesn’t make the product himself in order to fulfill the challenge.  Instead, he’s allowed to bring in a ringer – Baker Azuma – who does all the work, but gets practically nothing out of it.Hungover mountain range: *½HPGC dances all around this ingredient, but never quite gets to it.  There is a city hanging off the side of a mountain, there is a bridge and a palace hanging over a valley, there are the player-characters potentially hungover from drinking too much plum wine, the city’s nickname is “Hungover Plum Garden City”…  But nothing really hangs over the mountains, the mountains don’t really hang over anything, and nothing even remotely resembling a mountain range gets intoxicated.Plum dumplings: **½Plums dumplings are the prince’s way, through the talents of Azuma, of convincing the gods to make him the patron saint of plum trees.  The practical inclusion of them into the adventure is a bit incidental, and like LDCX the tendency is to focus on the plums and the orchard, rather than the dumplings.Playability: ***At points, HPGC makes a few assumptions about what the player characters should be thinking or doing.  That’s a dangerous thing to do…  On one hand, the characters can easily derail the adventure by doing something unexpected.  On the other, it becomes tempting for the DM to force the PCs into those expectations and assumptions.That aside, the adventure does provide a good, serviceable hook, a coherent (if slightly linear) plot line, and one notable decision point for the PCs.  While for most parties, the choice to join up with a demon is a non-decision, HPGC does present the option.Style: ****The city, the bridge and the palace are fabulous.  The image of the buildings clinging to the cliff face, and the palace balancing precariously on the bridge like a tightrope walker is terribly engaging.  It’s a wonderful setting for an adventure.The prince, as well, is portrayed to a stereotypical excess.  In this instance, the extreme stereotype plays well, as it can give the player characters a certain amount of sympathy toward the villain.Decision:LDCX had strong base ideas with the mountains spirits and Chih Xuan's magical plum orchard.  Unfortunately, those elements weren't utilized to their fullest and the rest of the adventure isn't strong enough to step up to the plate.  The plot elements are generally disjointed, and rely too heavily on history that the character will likely never learn.HPGC begins with the foppish prince and the palace on the bridge, setting the stage with a beautiful location and a colorful NPC.  The remaining components of the adventure have a hard time following in those footsteps, but adequately fill out the remainder of the adventure.On average, HPGC edges out LDCX in the use of ingredients, and also gets the lock on style.In addition, LDCX was late...  While that may not seem a big deal, I like to imagine that the deadline represents the start of the gaming session.  In that way, a late submission is akin to having an incomplete and unprepared adventure outline at the gaming table.In that light, I'm awarding this round to Sansuo.</blockquote>

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