NOW LIVE! Today's the day you meet your new best friend. You don’t have to leave Wolfy behind... In 'Pets & Sidekicks' your companions level up with you!

Reply to thread

Message: <blockquote data-quote="MatthewJHanson" data-source="post: 5219316" data-attributes="member: 13968">The Happiest Place on Earth“The Happiest Place on Earth” is Call of Chuthlu adventure where the players take on the rolls of children between the ages of six and eleven. It may serve as a one-shot or a prologue to a future campaign.BackgroundUncle Matt works at Disneyland, and every year he takes all his nieces and nephews there for a weekend of fun and magic. Uncle Matt leads a cult dedicated to Yig, the Father of Serpents, and is planning a mass sacrifice for that weekend.Uncle Matt and his fellow cultists planed to use a concert featuring Snoopy, the beloved Peanut’s character, to lure children in for sacrifice, but somehow they booked rapper Snoop Dogg instead.Chapter 1: Fun with Uncle MattThe adventure begins when the player characters (who are all cousins) are dropped off at Disneyland to stay with their Uncle Matt for the weekend. Uncle Matt warmly greets each child and assures that that they are going to have a “Ssswell time!” Uncle Matt is an unobtrusive man in his late thirties. He wears glasses and has long hair that ties back in a pony tale. As a child he had a profound stutter, but now the only trace of it is that he elongated all of his “s” sounds. Uncle Matt has one daughter, Bianca, who is the apple of Matt’s eye. Matt and Bianca’s mother divorced when Bianca was young and every since Matt has spoiled her rotten.Bianca, at twelve, is the oldest of the cousins and is big for her age. She has two sides different as night and day. When her father is around, Bianca is a sweet little girl. Though she is going through adolescents, she has retains many of the outward trappings of childhood, keeping her hair in pigtails, wearing pink dresses, and going on about ponies and princesses. When her father is not around, Bianca’s inner bully comes out. She uses threats, intermediation, psychological and physical violence to get her way.Bianca’s bully side rears its head early in the adventure. Uncle Matt might buy ice-cream or candy for all of the kids, and Bianca might take candy from one of the youngest PCs and blame somebody else. Of course Uncle Matt knows that his “Sssweet little girl would never tell a fib.”After spending the morning snacking on candy and going on rides, Uncle Matt brings the children to the Jungle Cruise. This Disney ride simulates a trip down jungle rivers of Africa, Asia, and South America, including animatronics animals. Nobody is surprised then, when a snake pops out of the water and sticks its head into the boat.Until they realize that this is not another animatronics marvel. It is a real live python and its looking for lunch. Guests panic, the boat “driver” jumps overboard, and Bianca screams, “Daddy! Make it Stop!” The player characters might get a few bruises or even break a wrist, but they are in no real danger from the snake. Uncle Matt quickly subdues and traps the snake. However he is livid at the ride operators. As a Disneyland worker himself, Matt knows exactly who to talk to, and shouts, “A live ssnake got into your park! Thiss isss unaccsssssseptable!”In an effort to make up for the debacle, the park staff lets each child pick item from the Adventureland Bazaar (Bianca somehow ends up with two), and gives the whole family a free lunch at the Bengal Barbecue.Uncle Matt tries to regain his composure. “Letss sssit down to eat a nicssse lunch,” he says, and let the PCs order anything they want (even eating dessert first!) As they eat, Uncle Matt suggests they see the concert that night at the Tomorrowland Terrace. Looking at a brochure he sees, “Ssnoopy Dog” and remarks that he loves that beagle.“Daddy,” Bianca interrupts, “that’s not Snoopy Dog. That’s Snoop Dogg. He’s, like, a rapper for old people.”Uncle Matt is again horrified. How could a family friendly place like this end up hosting an “unsssavory rapper?” He whips out his antique cell phone. It is the size of a brick and has a sticker of Donald Duck and Daisy Duck, but Daisy’s head has been wrapped off. Matt has a very loud very animated conversation with somebody on the other end of the phone, blaming them for the horrible mix up.Uncle Matt must not have gotten the response he wanted, because he slams his phone down on the table. “Wait here until I get back,” Matt says to the characters, then storms away from the table. He slips through one of the concealed doors that lead to the bowls of the theme park, leaving his vegetarian chilidog half eaten.Chapter 2: The Mouse, the Snake, and the Dogg.It might take a minute or two for what just happened to sink in. The adult in charge of the player characters has left them alone with no supervision. If they do not figure it out, Bianca soon does and declares with a wicked grin, “With Daddy gone, I’m in charge!” Some PCs might want to wait for Uncle Matt to come back, but no matter how long they wait, Uncle Matt isn’t coming.At this point the adventure opens up and the PCs are free to explore the park. Below are a few of the people or areas the children might encounter. Most of these have the possibility of something horrible happening to one of the children. Bianca should be the first child to go, and only after she has left should bad things happen to the PCsMore RidesBeing children, the PCs might take the opportunity to go on more rides. Some of them might run smoothly, but at some point, another snake mysteriously finds its way onto one of the rides. This time a small viper bites one of the children. The poisoned child starts having seizures and can barely breathe. Disneyland Staff rush the child away, and try to buy the silence of the other children with more park goodies.Park SecuritySome PCs might want to take the sensible route and ask a member of the park staff for help. If they do so, they are led to a small and boring (but surprisingly insecure) room. After waiting here for half an hour a park security officer asks to speak to the oldest child alone. After a few minutes the remaining children hear distant screams. The child never returns, but half an hour later the same security guard comes back and wants to speak to the next oldest child. This process repeats until the children escape, probably into the bowls of the park.The UndercityThe children might try to follow Uncle Matt to the hidden “backstage” of the park, or they might find themselves lost there accidently after escaping from park security. There are several areas of interest that the kids can find backstage.The Snake PensThere children find a pen housing dozens of dangerous snakes. Several cases look like the recently held snakes, but are now empty. One of the cases houses the same python that attacked the children earlier, and it’s still hungry. The python breaks free of, and unless the children are quick, it swallows one of the kids. As the other children flee, they can still hear cries of help coming from within the snake’s gut.Uncle Matt’s Cell PhoneThe children can also find Uncle Matt’s cell phone in one of the tunnels beneath the park. There is now a single bloody handprint on the phone. If they try to call their parents, none of them answer, but if the PCs try the last two numbers dialed somebody picks up. When the characters try the most recent number dialed, the young woman who answers immediately apologizes for the mix up, but insists that the ritual can still go on as planned, and everything is read below Tomorrowland Terrace. When she realizes that Uncle Matt is not on the other end she demands to know, “Who is this?”If they characters try to call the number before that, whatever picks up the phone speaks in a harsh hissing language that the children cannot understand. Listening for to long will damage the character’s sanity.The Library of YigUnderneath a more traditional library, the PCs come upon a library of occult lore. In particular the library contains every book mentioning the elder god Yig, Father of Serpents. Yig is powerful and quick to anger. He may send snakes to kill those who have wronged him, or turn them into half snake monsters. Left open on the table is a book of great power that describes both how to summon and dismiss a terrible servant of Yig. Any PC who reads the book risks going insane, but also learns valuable information that might come in useful in the future. The characters can also use the books in the library to deduce that the ideal time to perform the ritual to summon the servant of Yig is tonight at eight o’clock, and the ideal place is the Tomorrowland Terrace.The Cult MeetingThe children might be hiding in a closet of crawling through an air duct when they overhear a meeting spoken in hushed tones. The catch glimpses of people wearing robes that overshadow their faces. A man named Matthias seems to lead the meeting. He begins by praising Yig, who will lead them all to enlightenment and cleanse the world of their enemies. He then demands to know who accidently booked “Snoop Dogg” instead of “Snoopy the Dog.” He berates his underlings until finally one of them is forced to admit that Matthias himself made that mistake. At this point Matthias insists that they will have to make the best of the situation and that, “The ssscerimony will go on assss planned.”Tomorrowland TerraceIf the children explore Tomorrowland Terrace before the concert that evening, they find two things of interest. First they find all of the supplies needed to complete the ritual of summoning described in the library of Yig (candles, incense, virgin blood, etc). Secondly they find a large supply of pyrotechnics that will be part of Snoop Dogg’s performance that night.SnoopFinally, the children might find their way into Snoop Dogg’s dressing room. Snoop’s bodyguard initially tries to shoo the children away, but Snoop insists on seeing them. Snoop tells the children how excited he is to be playing at Disneyland, and wonder’s if he’ll get a chance to meet Miley Cirrus. If the children try to tell Snoop about the cult of Yig or any other strange happenings, he tells them that is very creative and encourages them to write a song about it.Chapter Three: "I’ve Made a Terrible Missstake"At eight o’clock that night, Snoop Dogg begins his concert at the Tomorrowland Terrace, and just below the cult of Yig begins their ritual. The PCs might be there already, but if not, they should arrive just as the cultists are about to complete the ritual.If any children (including Bianca) have been separated from the rest of the party, they return with the cultists. They are alive, but somehow changed. The light has gone out of their eyes. Their voices are muted, as they ask the PCs to “join usssss.”The cult leader asks, “Did you think I would let anything bad happen to my favorite children?” He lowers his cowl and reveals himself to be Uncle Matt. He explains that they are just trying to help find a new “friend.”The PCs can try to disrupt the summoning ritual, but doing so is difficult, as a few burly cultists can probably subdue them. More likely the cultists succeed in summoning a servant of Yig. This creature appears to be a massive snake that flies on bat-like wings. Naturally the first thing it does is consume Uncle Matt. Then it flies up through a trap door and emerges onto the stage where Snoop Dogg is performing.The children have two main options at this point. They may attempt the ritual of unsummoning that they found in the library of Yig (though doing so will probably drive them insane.) Alternatively they might lure the spawn of Yig over to some of Snoop Dogg’s pyrotechnics, and then explode them all at once. The explosion will be enough to slay the monster, but also runs the risk of catching the PCs in the blast.Should these options fail, the servant of Yig devours Snoop Dogg and dozens of concert goers before flying away into the night.ConclusionHowever the night ends, the next morning the remaining children (if any) awaken in a plush Disney Hotel, and their parents soon arrive. The Disney Corporation is reticent to acknowledge that the cult of an Elder God was active in one of its parks. Instead it blames any death on malfunction equipment that was part of Snoop Dogg’s stage show. The public at large is quick to believe these stories, and then quick to forget them. Only the heroes know the truth.IngredientsA girl with pigtails: Bianca, the spoiled daughter of Uncle Matt. She keeps her hair in pigtails to look cute and childlike for her father.The happiest place on earth: Disneyland, whose motto is “The Happiest Place on Earth.” Half-eaten lunch: Uncle Matt’s vegetarian chili-dog. He is so upset by what he learns on the phone that he leaves in the middle of lunch, and never comes back for it.Snoop: Mr. Dogg. His name is so similar to the popular Peanuts character that he gets invited to perform at Disneyland. His concert is the site of a dark ritual and mass sacrifice. (Also the children snoop around Disneyland). A snake, a snake!: There are many snakes in the adventure, but I think the first snake on the Jungle Cruise is the one that fits this best. Initially, people think it is a harmless piece of animatronics (“a snake”), but then they realize it is a live and hungry python (“a snake!”).Matt the Insstigater: Uncle Matt. Not only does he lead the cult of Yig, and instigates the ritual, he also brought the children to park instigating their involvement. The extra “s” is accounted for because Matt’s lisp makes him elongate all of his “s” sounds, (which of course, makes him sound more snake-like).</blockquote>

Verification