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Message: <blockquote data-quote="CleverNickName" data-source="post: 5204627" data-attributes="member: 50987"><img src="http://bookpeopleblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/brown_alton_1.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " data-size="" style="" />Welcome back to the part of the Iron DM Competition where I pretend to be a Food Network game show host!  I'll rehash my usual schtik, talking about the ingredients of the next round like they are actually being displayed in an imaginary Kitchen Stadium, and offer witty musings and wild predictions on how they could be used!  It's great fun, because since I'm not competing, I can afford to be objective!  And I get to use lots of exclaimation points!So let's get started![Spoiler]Our first ingredient is a powerhouse of danger: a Mercury Dragon.  A dangerous metal, mixed with a dangerous monster?  It's so dangerous!  If you play Forgotten Realms, you might have already seen this beast.  You others are at your leisure.Then we have a Crystal Sepulcher.  It's elegant, it's fragile, and it's full of bones!  Graverobbing is a time-honored tradition (obligation?) among adventurers...but how can they plunder something made of valuable minerals?  More to the point, why would someone make a tomb out of valuable minerals?!  Nothing says "Rob Me!" like a diamond-crusted grave.And look, it's a Corrupt Prophet.  This is another extremely flavorful ingredient that brings to mind all manner of schemes, plots, and deceit.  The language is that of politics and religion, which I will not utter here.  The first thing I thought of was the Madoff scandal, but that's probably the wrong kind of profit.Who doesn't love Abstinence?  Well, pretty much every teenager in the American Midwest.  But the key to using this ingredient lies in the context: who is doing the abstaining, and what are they abstaining from?Loaded Dice.  I actually have a set of these, right here on my desk.  They belonged to my ex-wife, who needed them for a production of Guys & Dolls back in Colorado Springs: the dice are weighted so that they favor landing on "snake eyes." (If you've seen the play, you know why.)  Obviously, they haven't seen much game-time.  But they are a pretty cool conversation piece, anyway.Hopefully our contestants can find a much more interesting use for them than this horrible story of mine.I don't know why I hate the Ebon Fly so much.  I mean, as far as wondrous items go, it is definitely above-par (at least it's not a feather token, right?)  I guess it's the lack of an attack that bothers me.  All the stats of a hippogriff, with none of the awesome?  Meh.  And if you don't dismount before the time is up, you will be plummeting all the way back to earth with a toy wooden insect between your legs.[/Spoiler]Best of luck to our contestants!  And on a personal note, I am hoping that the two of them can change my opinion of that last ingredient.  Show me what I'm missing!</blockquote>

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