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IRON DM 2014 Tournament
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<blockquote data-quote="Rune" data-source="post: 6529541" data-attributes="member: 67"><p><strong>Round 2, Match 2: Wicht vs. Waylander the Slayer</strong></p><p></p><p>Okay. Well, it's obvious that one of these two entries wasn't really finished--much less polished--when it was submitted. The question is, does what <em>is</em> there present enough information to allow the DM to run an adventure that is superior to the finished one, while also also utilizing the ingredients in superior ways? That's a tall order, but it's not impossible. </p><p></p><p>I think we'll begin with the ingredients, this time. </p><p></p><p><strong>War Game:</strong> Right out of the gate, Waylander the Slayer's <em>War Games of Infamy</em> (henceforth, <em>Infamy</em>) falls short. Where Wicht's <em>The Battle of the Temple of Seven Gates</em> (<em>Battle</em>) uses this ingredient to provide a full-scale mock battle that also provides a frame for the whole adventure, <em>Infamy</em> only gives us what amounts to a gladiatorial match. It's significance to the adventure is good, but it doesn't quite fit so well. </p><p></p><p>I do wonder, though, what means General Hoshi employs in <em>Battle</em> to make his archers non-lethal. </p><p></p><p><strong>Demonic Kangaroo:</strong> This was a tricky ingredient to use and both entries struggled with the same problem. Frankly, the relevance of the "kangaroo" part of the ingredient is lacking in both. The malicious trickster oni that <em>Battle</em> provides are a great complication that provide a layer of mystery and another layer of battlefield urgency. They add a lot to the adventure. But I can't figure out why the one inhabiting the kangaroo is so special in the context of the adventure. It's the leader, but the adventure doesn't really seem to care if they have a leader. </p><p></p><p>In contrast, <em>Infamy</em> presents a demonic kangaroo with far less direct presence in the adventure, but far more impact. It is, after all, a crucial component in winning the tribes' freedom. We are, of course, left to wonder what freedom so bought will bring for the tribe, but that's a good kind of question to be left with. Both entries are pretty close with this ingredient, but I'm going to lean towards <em>Infamy</em>.</p><p></p><p><strong>Treasured Junk:</strong> I look at General Hoshi's treasured junk in <em>Battle</em> and I see a giant missed opportunity. We are told that any damage to the junk will flip his rage-switch and <em>really</em> turn things lethal. And, we are given some malevolent, murderous, and stealthy mischief-makers that could really take advantage of that. Unfortunately, there is no indication of such inclination, nor a means of making it happen. Disappointing. </p><p></p><p>On the other hand, <em>Infamy</em> doesn't give us anything more than "the PCs will have to look for something under some other stuff." That is as weak as it gets, folk. </p><p></p><p><strong>Repurposed Temple:</strong> This is another ingredient that is used in about the same way and about as well in both entries. The main difference is in how important each is to the adventure. <em>Battle</em> provides a temple that provides a home for his oni that are both the cause of the temple's abandonment (and, consequently, the reason it is chosen as the remote location to be repurposed) and a lot of the meat of the adventure, itself. This is all very good. </p><p></p><p><em>Infamy</em> provides a lot less detail, but manages something else. The repurposed temple not only reinforces the entire conflict of the adventure between a conquered indigenous people and it's oppressors, it also provides a means for that people to throw off those chains--and it does it in two parts--first by destroying the morale of the occupying army in the coliseum, and then by following that up with a summoned demon. This is very impressive, especially considering how little is actually written in this adventure. Again, I've got to lean toward <em>Infamy</em> with this ingredient. </p><p></p><p><strong>Boastful Promise:</strong> <em>Infamy</em> uses this ingredient as a goal for the adventure. Proving that boast inaccurate is the key to destroying the morale of the occupying army--a necessary precursor to the havoc that summoning Hiawatha will unleash. This is superior to the approach that <em>Battle</em> takes--providing a premise for the adventure, but nothing further. </p><p></p><p><strong>Absent-minded Golem:</strong> I like the golem's role in <em>Infamy</em>. It is an important piece of the adventure that the PCs must interact with and that the DM can use to introduce complications, while also using it to adjust the pacing of that section of the adventure. That's cleverly efficient. </p><p></p><p>However, <em>Battle</em> provides something that fills multiple roles as well, and does so with far more personality. The golem is a red herring, a wild-card on the battlefield, a possible tool for the PCs to use, and, perhaps, a very dangerous villain (if, as hinted, the oni can possess it). And, on top of all of that, it really feels more absent-minded than the kangaroo golem, which only loses direction--not focus. Sutondor is clearly the better implementation of this ingredient. </p><p></p><p>[sblock]So, we're actually pretty close with the ingredients. The decision, then, hangs on the quality of the adventures. Both Waylander and Wicht are traditionally excellent in this arena. And, bare-bones as it is, <em>Infamy</em> is fundamentally a good adventure. It's structure is well-conceived and pretty flavorful, as well. I was, at first, a little put off by the apparent need to use it as a one-shot, but, given the kind of questions it's conclusion raises, it could actually work as the start of an adventure arc, or even it's own campaign. I do lament the lack of detail, but I think I have enough to run this adventure and have a lot of fun with it--with some work. </p><p></p><p>Against one of Wicht's lesser works, it might even win. But <em>Battle</em> is one of Wicht's best. The adventure is dynamic, multi-faceted, and <em>loaded</em> with things for the PCs to do, all without feeling overly ambitious. The combination of mystery leading up to the battle and chaos on the field promises all kinds of fun. </p><p></p><p>I must decide in favor of Wicht. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>...Which makes this another unanimous decision (I'm not sure that's ever happened twice in a tournament). Waylander, you know exactly what went wrong, and it simply couldn't be helped, so I really don't have any advice for you. You have been a champion before and easily could be again without any words of wisdom from me. </p><p></p><p>I do want to say that I'm fairly impressed with the depth you managed to pack into your unfinished entry and I'm glad you posted it, where others would have balked and forfeited. Even without much of it's intended detail, the skeleton of the adventure is one that other DMs could learn from and draw inspiration from. </p><p></p><p>I expect to see you compete again, so better luck in your next tournament.[/sblock]</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Rune, post: 6529541, member: 67"] [b]Round 2, Match 2: Wicht vs. Waylander the Slayer[/b] Okay. Well, it's obvious that one of these two entries wasn't really finished--much less polished--when it was submitted. The question is, does what [i]is[/i] there present enough information to allow the DM to run an adventure that is superior to the finished one, while also also utilizing the ingredients in superior ways? That's a tall order, but it's not impossible. I think we'll begin with the ingredients, this time. [b]War Game:[/b] Right out of the gate, Waylander the Slayer's [i]War Games of Infamy[/i] (henceforth, [i]Infamy[/i]) falls short. Where Wicht's [i]The Battle of the Temple of Seven Gates[/i] ([i]Battle[/i]) uses this ingredient to provide a full-scale mock battle that also provides a frame for the whole adventure, [i]Infamy[/i] only gives us what amounts to a gladiatorial match. It's significance to the adventure is good, but it doesn't quite fit so well. I do wonder, though, what means General Hoshi employs in [i]Battle[/i] to make his archers non-lethal. [b]Demonic Kangaroo:[/b] This was a tricky ingredient to use and both entries struggled with the same problem. Frankly, the relevance of the "kangaroo" part of the ingredient is lacking in both. The malicious trickster oni that [i]Battle[/i] provides are a great complication that provide a layer of mystery and another layer of battlefield urgency. They add a lot to the adventure. But I can't figure out why the one inhabiting the kangaroo is so special in the context of the adventure. It's the leader, but the adventure doesn't really seem to care if they have a leader. In contrast, [i]Infamy[/i] presents a demonic kangaroo with far less direct presence in the adventure, but far more impact. It is, after all, a crucial component in winning the tribes' freedom. We are, of course, left to wonder what freedom so bought will bring for the tribe, but that's a good kind of question to be left with. Both entries are pretty close with this ingredient, but I'm going to lean towards [i]Infamy[/i]. [b]Treasured Junk:[/b] I look at General Hoshi's treasured junk in [i]Battle[/i] and I see a giant missed opportunity. We are told that any damage to the junk will flip his rage-switch and [i]really[/i] turn things lethal. And, we are given some malevolent, murderous, and stealthy mischief-makers that could really take advantage of that. Unfortunately, there is no indication of such inclination, nor a means of making it happen. Disappointing. On the other hand, [i]Infamy[/i] doesn't give us anything more than "the PCs will have to look for something under some other stuff." That is as weak as it gets, folk. [b]Repurposed Temple:[/b] This is another ingredient that is used in about the same way and about as well in both entries. The main difference is in how important each is to the adventure. [i]Battle[/i] provides a temple that provides a home for his oni that are both the cause of the temple's abandonment (and, consequently, the reason it is chosen as the remote location to be repurposed) and a lot of the meat of the adventure, itself. This is all very good. [i]Infamy[/i] provides a lot less detail, but manages something else. The repurposed temple not only reinforces the entire conflict of the adventure between a conquered indigenous people and it's oppressors, it also provides a means for that people to throw off those chains--and it does it in two parts--first by destroying the morale of the occupying army in the coliseum, and then by following that up with a summoned demon. This is very impressive, especially considering how little is actually written in this adventure. Again, I've got to lean toward [i]Infamy[/i] with this ingredient. [b]Boastful Promise:[/b] [i]Infamy[/i] uses this ingredient as a goal for the adventure. Proving that boast inaccurate is the key to destroying the morale of the occupying army--a necessary precursor to the havoc that summoning Hiawatha will unleash. This is superior to the approach that [i]Battle[/i] takes--providing a premise for the adventure, but nothing further. [b]Absent-minded Golem:[/b] I like the golem's role in [i]Infamy[/i]. It is an important piece of the adventure that the PCs must interact with and that the DM can use to introduce complications, while also using it to adjust the pacing of that section of the adventure. That's cleverly efficient. However, [i]Battle[/i] provides something that fills multiple roles as well, and does so with far more personality. The golem is a red herring, a wild-card on the battlefield, a possible tool for the PCs to use, and, perhaps, a very dangerous villain (if, as hinted, the oni can possess it). And, on top of all of that, it really feels more absent-minded than the kangaroo golem, which only loses direction--not focus. Sutondor is clearly the better implementation of this ingredient. [sblock]So, we're actually pretty close with the ingredients. The decision, then, hangs on the quality of the adventures. Both Waylander and Wicht are traditionally excellent in this arena. And, bare-bones as it is, [i]Infamy[/i] is fundamentally a good adventure. It's structure is well-conceived and pretty flavorful, as well. I was, at first, a little put off by the apparent need to use it as a one-shot, but, given the kind of questions it's conclusion raises, it could actually work as the start of an adventure arc, or even it's own campaign. I do lament the lack of detail, but I think I have enough to run this adventure and have a lot of fun with it--with some work. Against one of Wicht's lesser works, it might even win. But [i]Battle[/i] is one of Wicht's best. The adventure is dynamic, multi-faceted, and [i]loaded[/i] with things for the PCs to do, all without feeling overly ambitious. The combination of mystery leading up to the battle and chaos on the field promises all kinds of fun. I must decide in favor of Wicht. ...Which makes this another unanimous decision (I'm not sure that's ever happened twice in a tournament). Waylander, you know exactly what went wrong, and it simply couldn't be helped, so I really don't have any advice for you. You have been a champion before and easily could be again without any words of wisdom from me. I do want to say that I'm fairly impressed with the depth you managed to pack into your unfinished entry and I'm glad you posted it, where others would have balked and forfeited. Even without much of it's intended detail, the skeleton of the adventure is one that other DMs could learn from and draw inspiration from. I expect to see you compete again, so better luck in your next tournament.[/sblock] [/QUOTE]
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