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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Rune" data-source="post: 6725294" data-attributes="member: 67">Judgement for Round 2, Match 1: Wicht vs. Deuce TravelerRight from the start, it is clear that one of these two entries is much more polished than the other. In part, this is because it is a far more linear adventure. This linearity is both a strength and weakness of the adventure. It gives it focus, but not without a cost. On the other hand, the other adventure's wide-open possibility and ambiguity is its own strength and weakness. We'll get to all of that, though. For now, ingredients:The First Day in "The Lost Crayon Caper" ("Caper") holds significance not only as the backdrop during which the entire adventure plays out, but also as a source of tension. It is important to remember that all of the complications of the adventure have been simmering all summer long. This gives the whole adventure a kind of latent energy that a good DM (GM) will find ways to harness throughout the running of the game. "The Brothers Makeembo" ("Brothers") doesn't quite measure up with this ingredient. It also appears as backdrop for (part of) the adventure and establishes a baseline for a timeline of events that will certainly complicate things, to say the least. But the first day, itself, is only a starting point. The Lonely Ranger in each entry has some problems. In "Brothers," she essentially serves as a crossroads for the PCs, as, once they retrieve the pearls from her, it's time to commit to a course (if they haven't already). This is a good function. But her loneliness (because her animal companion is missing? Dead?) is irrelevant. Similarly, in "Caper," while Reynold's loneliness is better developed--and is expected to be the lever PCs use to gain his assistance--there really could be many other ways to make that happen (which is good for the adventure, but bad for the ingredient). But this leads to a bit of a problem: it has to happen or the adventure doesn't continue. It becomes a choke-point through which the PCs must successfully navigate in order to progress. Both entries also use the Mighty Leap in similar ways--and with similar problems. "Caper gives us another choke-point; progress requires success in a challenge that cannot be (reasonably) circumnavigated (as written, anyway). Of course, with no penalty for failure, the PCs can just keep trying, but if that's the case, why include it at all? It doesn't matter. "Brothers" also presents a choke-point, if the PCs side with the Air and Water Spirits. If they side with the Fire and Earth Spirits, they won't even get to this one. Here, at least, failure is a meaningful risk. The Rotten Hull in "Brothers" is mere scenery. It serves no purpose in the adventure. "Caper," on the other hand, gives us something that needs to be rotten and needs to be a hollow hull. And, in so doing, gives us a cool--and dynamic--encounter scene (I love the idea of the PCs dodging the robot and causing it to smash the hideout to bits as it tries to hit them). And an unanswered mystery/hook for future gaming: how did it get there in the first place? Well done. Both entries use the Undone Deed as the focus of their adventures. The difference between the two is that "Brothers" uses the undone deed as a springboard for adventure and "Caper" actually has the PCs undo the deed. In "Caper," the ingredient is the adventure. It doesn't get more relevant or interconnected than that. But "Caper" can't keep up the relevance with the Unfinished Masterpiece. It is well-integrated into the adventure as both hook and reward, but what it actually is doesn't matter. The adventure plays out almost the same way if it doesn't exist at all and (for instance) Snap just stole Vesper's milk-money (with the caveat that this wouldn't incorporate the tension built up over the summer). In "Brothers," it plays a much smaller role, but it at least is irreplaceable and integral, if--and only if--the PCs side with the Air and Water Spirits. "Brothers" gives us a Deposed King who will be a major player, no matter whether he is a patron or a foe. This is the entry's strongest ingredient, because it is the main source of all of the adventure's conflict, and there is simply no getting around it. In contrast, "Caper" gives us a deposed king who is potentially a tremendously fun complication to the adventure, but does not actually need to exist for the adventure to work. It looks like "Caper" has the edge with the ingredients. This leads us to the adventures, themselves. It is interesting to note that each entry has two ingredients that highlight problems in the adventures' structures. For "Brothers," these are otherwise (comparatively) well-implemented ingredients: the mighty leap and the unfinished masterpiece--both of which only become relevant if the PCs choose to side against the king. The thing is, we are given interesting challenges for the PCs to face if they choose this route, but nothing if they choose the opposite. This is a pretty big oversight for an adventure that is built on the strength of its free-form nature and ambiguity. Also, it would be great to know what the opposing sides (no matter which they are) do to hinder the PCs, because, if it's nothing, that's a giant missed opportunity. In "Caper," we get choke-points in the form of the lonely ranger (whom the PCs must successfully enlist) and the mighty leap (which must be attempted, over and over, if necessary). The overall linearity of the adventure would otherwise not be problematic, but these two things are potentially pretty big challenges to overcome when running the game. [sblock]But there's something else about the piece that really bothers me on a fundamental level. "Caper" goes out of its way to point out that, should the adventure be successfully completed, nothing will really change. None of the major players will learn anything about themselves or others (even Reynolds, who gains a new motivation, doesn't actually change anything). No status quo will shift (aside from the possible coronation of a new "King of the Monkey-Bars"). The classroom dynamic will remain pretty much the same (with the important exception that the PCs will earn the enmity of Victor--but even that won't represent any meaningful change for Victor). And everyone will keep repeating the same patterns of behavior. This is an adventure devoid of meaningful consequences. Even as the one-shot that this adventure was likely intended to be, that's an unsatisfying conclusion. This seems particularly incongruent with the curiously mature themes that we are presented with throughout. The coquettish artist. The milk addiction. Bomb-identification classes and a blown-up hideout. (When I envision this playing out, part of me wants to see it animated, South Park style.) These themes had me looking forward to something that ran a little deeper than the conclusion delivered, I think. Wicht, if I had only read each entry casually, yours was going to be the winner. It was tight, polished, had a fun premise, and had some very interesting NPCs to interact with. And, because of those features, I think it would be pretty easy to fix the problems that I see in it. I still would like to run this one someday. Deuce Traveler's entry is sloppier, uses its ingredients (a little) less well, and is somewhat under-developed. It would probably take more work to make it really ready to run. But it is fundamentally sound and, frankly, has more adventure in it, as well as the good kind of unanswered questions. I look at it and I see something that I can do more with. And even now, I'm torn about which set of virtues I value more. I guess it'll come down to this: while entirely (maybe even easily) fixable, the lack of meaningful consequences in "Caper" seems to me a fatal flaw; its implications color the whole of the adventure. "Brothers" has its flaws, but none so fundamental that they do likewise. And that's where I'll hang my judgement. Deuce Traveler advances to the Championship Round. [/sblock]</blockquote>

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