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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Wicht" data-source="post: 6913046" data-attributes="member: 221">Note that the judgment was amended because it was pointed out I had done some math wrong, and I had, and it made a difference in the judgment. [sblock=Judgment for LongGoneWrier vs Deuce Traveler]Iron DM 2016Round 2, Match 1LongGoneWrier vs. Deuce TravelerAs I read through the two entries, the first thing I would say is that if there was a prize for most improved during the match, LongGoneWrier, who is competing in his first Iron DM tournament would be a shoe-in. Deuce Traveler, our reigning champion, would, one would think, be the favored to win in a matchup such as this, a seasoned veteran of the contest, with wins under his belt, going up against a new-comer, but just on the read through, and initial assessment, I think this is going to be a close match. At least it is for me.Let me also say at the outset that there is a lot to like in both of these entries, but there are also some weaknesses in both, and I find it kinda interesting that, as in the first round when I judged, so too here, we see some similar weaknesses in each one, which we will get around to in a bit…So let’s get to tallying up some points. We will begin with Following Rules. Both were turned in on time. <s>However, each one, when I plug them into Word, went over word count. And both did it in the same way – with the description of system after the title. Neither one is vastly over, both are within 10 words of being right, but there you have it. So I will dock each one a single point for this goof (ironically and pointedly, we discussed this very issue back on pages 2 and 3 of this very thread). Since each one had the same mistake, that’s a bit of a wash.</s> However, when they are checked for word count, LongGoneWrier's is a few words over. Initially, my computer said that Deuce Traveler's was as well, but on subsequently checking, it was not. I am not completely sure what caused that glitch, but there you are. Because it is over the word count, I am deducting one point from LongGoneWrier's for the slip. As far as ingredient use, I don’t think either of these entries was the best I have seen in this competition. Heir to Nothing was used by both in a similar way, by having one of the movers behind the plot be an individual who is heir to nothing, the one because it was all squandered by his father, and the other because he is a male drow. In "Corporate Downsizing" (hereafter CD), I think the idea is captured quite nicely, but I do have one minor quibble. The PCs don’t actually themselves do much interaction with the poor heir. He is background and macguffin. The heir to nothing in "Get Ye to the Underdark" (hereafter GYU) is more active with the NPCs, but his lack of an inheritance is really not all that special, in the culture he comes from – any male drow would have a similar standing. In each case I will give the use 1.5 points out of the possible 2. Silken Wallpaper is our next ingredient. In both cases the entry is a bit of a cheat, focusing on the adjective silken, but ignoring the noun “paper.” I think in this case, the slight edge for use goes to CD, as the wallpaper’s ability to block the cyberzombie’s search for them is a neat sort of thing, and though spider webs can be fun for an adventure, they aren’t necessarily all that innovative. (1.5 for CD, 1 for GYU)Now we have “Useless Glue,” and here LongGoneWrier falls into a rookie mistake. We have a centaur named Glue, but he could have been named anything. He’s also not all that useless in the adventure as he is a possible ally and is fated to weaken the BBG. Deuce Traveler has glue in the adventure, but not really in a way that necessarily will ever matter to the PCs, unless the PCs decide to join up with the drow and have some alchemical know-how. Still Deuce gets this ingredient as an edge (.5 for CD, 1.5 for GYU). Headless hunter was used in both adventures in a way I mostly liked, though the script that brings about the headless hunter in CD is one of my issues I will talk about later. But in both cases I will give full points. In Gutted Machine, we have an ingredient where I think GYU is the clearly better use. In CD we have the potential seppuku of the cyberzombie, which while neat, is not necessarily a certainty. The gutted machine, in GYU is a major plot point, though it is a plot point providing motivation, rather than necessarily being a challenge for the PCs. (1 for CD; 1.5 for GYU)The star-crossed book is likewise, in GYU, a macguffin (making two of them in a single adventure, which is a neat sort of intersection of dueling motivations; though they are weak macguffins in that they matter far more to the NPCs than they ever will to the PCs). I admit that I like the Romeo and Juliet reference, for while I detest the play, a classic is a classic. The book in CD is also a Macguffin, and one with more interest to the PCs, but I confess I am not sure in what way it is meant to be star-crossed. In neither case is the ingredient the best, but I will give a slight edge to GYU here (1 for CD, 1.5 for GYU)Finally we get to Lazy Eye. I notice that in each case they contestant named their laze eye, “Eye” and in GYU’s case, the name is even more derivative. However, in each case, the eye is central and plays a role befitting an eye (watchman in one, beholder in the other). For this ingredient I will give both full marks. At the end of the analysis, GYU was just slightly better than CD with ingredient use. Was it enough to win…?Let’s talk about the usability of each adventure. Let me say upfront that I think both of these, with some work would be quite usable, though I think one is slightly better than the other. I also think both of them have a similar problem with too much story and not enough “encounters.” What I mean by that is that each of them presents a very complex and rich backstory, but do not actually provide the smaller pieces of the adventure that would make each more fully realized. With CD, I also see a weakness in the fact that the adventure is just a little too tightly scripted. The ending is written before the PCs ever actually make any choices. Some of this scripting is good, and leads to a fantastic scene with the cyberzombie hunting the PCs through the tower. That has “B” movie excellence written all over it and I really like it (and it would work too in Shadowrun, much better than in a D&D game). But RPGs don’t always happen according to script and just a little more flexibility would really strengthen this entry. What happens if the PCs kill the centaur before the centaur beheads the zombie? What happens if the find an ingenious way to take out the zombie? I can’t give CD full points, but there’s a good adventure here, and the potential for a really fun adventure as well. So 4.5 out of 6 is how I am going to call this one.With GYU, we have a different set of problems as far as usability. In fact, I think just a little more scripting would have made this one stronger. We have a lot of backstory, a great set-up and then we are simply plopping the PCs down into it and seeing what they do. Its very sandboxy, but a little more of a timeline, a few more ideas for encounters and events would not have been amiss. As it is, the GM is left to wing it as much as the players. I also am pretty sure that most parties of PCs would try some sort of “kill them all and let the gods sort them out” technique to solving the problem. So all the backstory becomes something of a wash if the PCs don’t try diplomacy out with one side or another. I like where the set-up is taking us, but I think it could have taken us a little further. I’m going to be generous though and give GYU a 4 out of 6 for usability. And so finally we come to Style. How well does each adventure appeal to me? There’s a lot I like in GYU. I get a Krang from TMNT vibe from the golem, and something of a Terminator vibe from the drow teleporting who knows where, chased by the golem. It also brings up vaguely fond memories for me of one of my childhood module favorites: UK3 The Gauntlet. But the adventure loses a little luster for me when there is a built in expectation of negotiating with evil to help defeat another evil. And drow NPCs as sympathetic characters is a no-go for me. I can take Drizzt in small doses, but these guys should be major villains, not romantic foils. I’m going to go with 4 out of 6 points here for style. I suspect that another DM, more fond of heavy Role-playing opportunities would rate it higher, but 4 is as high as I can go. With CD there’s also a lot I like. Shadowrun is one of those settings I wish I could play in more (or at all) (just haven’t found the right group I suppose). I also think the idea of the cyberzombie crashing heedlessly through the complex is fantastic, full of cinematic possibilities. I get a real 80’s sci-fi “B” movie feel from this one, and I like it. The too-tight script keeps it from being thematically perfect stylewise, and the centaur needs a little bit of work as a plot element, but I think I can give this one a 5 out of 6 for style. So, looking at the score, <s>"Corporate Downsizing" beats "Get Ye to the Underdark" (and let me just add that if I was being really cantankerous I would cut points off of each for really lousy titles; but I am feeling not all that cantankerous tonight, so I won’t) by the slimmest of margins. We’ll have to see what the other judges think, but I think, personally, the champ met his match in the up and comer this round. </s> "Get Ye to the Underdark" edges out "Corporate Downsizing," bu a single point. In this case, Deuce won because of his better ingredient use, and his being under word count. The champ defends his title one more round, by my estimation, but the up and comer certainly provided a good match. Congratulations to both, but the score tips to Deuce to advance once again to the final round.LongGoneWrier – Corporate Downsizing  Followed the Rules 5/6Ingredient Use 9.5/14Usability 4.5/6Style 5/6Total: 24/32Deuce Traveler – Get Ye to the UnderdarkFollowed the Rules 6/6Ingredient Use 11/14Usability 4/6Style 4/6Total: 25/32[/sblock]</blockquote>

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