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<blockquote data-quote="Iron Sky" data-source="post: 7317550" data-attributes="member: 60965"><p>Thanks, Rune, for judging! I agree with pretty much all of your points, the below is just commentary in the off chance anyone is interested.</p><p></p><p>I originally started to plot out a fantasy adventure which I find the easiest as you can make a world that fits perfectly for the ingredients. Then I read Crude Map a few times and just knew I had to do something modern.</p><p></p><p>Crude Map then linked to Convergence of Clouds as cloud computing, then the Loaded Dice as programmable dice. Who had them? Well, it was new technology so whoever was doing it could be the Harbinger. Then it broke down a bit, as Rune pointed out, and I felt more of stretch to tie the others in.</p><p></p><p>I originally was going to have them find fairies at the crude sites, but I'd set myself the goal of straight modern/near-future and so settled on the Fairy Tale instead - hence the lengthy exposition to make it a full Tale. I tried to figure out how to have the PCs interact with the Fatal Flaw, but kept on coming up with TPK-worthy situations that would have made it a good ingredient but a bad adventure so it felt somewhat tacked on. (Note, that Isaiah's father had a heart attack due to a flaw in his heart as a bonus use).</p><p></p><p>The Compromised Position in my entry I do think you missed: a position in the stock market is a placed order on securities or futures. The Isaiah staked all his billions on just such a position, which was then Compromised by Hadrian going quiet. I tried to call it out by actually using the word position... I'm wondering if bolding the ingredients helps? The PCs still don't interact with it directly, but I still wanted to call it out as I had a huge AHAH! when I figured it out.</p><p></p><p>In retrospect, with most of a week since to think about it, I would have had the whole adventure stand as a fairy tale, shortened the exposition, and used the extra wordage to introduce two sets of loaded dice - one with the password to Hadrian's account so the PCs could access the clouds and get a map printout, the other set with the refined coordinates. I also would have sought to make a specific Fatal Flaw they could interact with rather than having a handful of ones they only observe.</p><p></p><p>After dinging several adventures while judging last your for burying ingredients in the backstory, I committed the same sin. Live and learn I guess.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, congrats, [MENTION=57112]Gradine[/MENTION] on a superlative entry! As much as I liked my entry, as soon as I submitted it and read yours I had no idea which way it would go. I'll look forward to seeing what you produce for the championship round!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Iron Sky, post: 7317550, member: 60965"] Thanks, Rune, for judging! I agree with pretty much all of your points, the below is just commentary in the off chance anyone is interested. I originally started to plot out a fantasy adventure which I find the easiest as you can make a world that fits perfectly for the ingredients. Then I read Crude Map a few times and just knew I had to do something modern. Crude Map then linked to Convergence of Clouds as cloud computing, then the Loaded Dice as programmable dice. Who had them? Well, it was new technology so whoever was doing it could be the Harbinger. Then it broke down a bit, as Rune pointed out, and I felt more of stretch to tie the others in. I originally was going to have them find fairies at the crude sites, but I'd set myself the goal of straight modern/near-future and so settled on the Fairy Tale instead - hence the lengthy exposition to make it a full Tale. I tried to figure out how to have the PCs interact with the Fatal Flaw, but kept on coming up with TPK-worthy situations that would have made it a good ingredient but a bad adventure so it felt somewhat tacked on. (Note, that Isaiah's father had a heart attack due to a flaw in his heart as a bonus use). The Compromised Position in my entry I do think you missed: a position in the stock market is a placed order on securities or futures. The Isaiah staked all his billions on just such a position, which was then Compromised by Hadrian going quiet. I tried to call it out by actually using the word position... I'm wondering if bolding the ingredients helps? The PCs still don't interact with it directly, but I still wanted to call it out as I had a huge AHAH! when I figured it out. In retrospect, with most of a week since to think about it, I would have had the whole adventure stand as a fairy tale, shortened the exposition, and used the extra wordage to introduce two sets of loaded dice - one with the password to Hadrian's account so the PCs could access the clouds and get a map printout, the other set with the refined coordinates. I also would have sought to make a specific Fatal Flaw they could interact with rather than having a handful of ones they only observe. After dinging several adventures while judging last your for burying ingredients in the backstory, I committed the same sin. Live and learn I guess. Anyway, congrats, [MENTION=57112]Gradine[/MENTION] on a superlative entry! As much as I liked my entry, as soon as I submitted it and read yours I had no idea which way it would go. I'll look forward to seeing what you produce for the championship round! [/QUOTE]
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