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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Wicht" data-source="post: 8154051" data-attributes="member: 221">As stated elsewhere, I judge using an arbitrary point system, as it allows me to more clinically analyze my feelings about each entry.My system is roughly as follows…Followed the Rules: Wordcount, time limit, etc. (6 points)Ingredient Use: Were all the ingredients legitimately used as a necessary part of the adventure? (12 points)Useability: How easy could a GM plop the adventure down into their game? (6 points)Style: Personal preference – how much does the presentation and adventure appeal to the judge (6 points)With that upfront, lets take a look at our two entries… going through them point by point.[USER=24380]@Neurotic[/USER]'s Adventure, Chilling with Death (Chilled), presents us with a single locale, an ancient sunken temple to a moon-goddess filled with puzzly goodness.[USER=59816]@FitzTheRuke[/USER] offers us, Out of the Blue (Blue), a fun little romp searching for a crashed air-ship and its dangerous prisoner.Both entries are under the word count, and both were turned in on time. I almost docked Chilled for not having a title included with the entry (though I asked for one as it makes writing out the judgment a bit easier). But, on a read and reread of the rules, I didn’t actually see that there was a rule that an adventure should have a title, so I let that slide, and both entries get full marks for following the rules.Which brings us to the heart of any Iron DM judgment – an examination of how the ingredients were used in cooking up the adventure…We’ll start with Cold Lava, an ingredient I am going to be somewhat generous towards in that it was a hard one. Both entries cheated a bit with this one, offering us cold substances that weren’t actually lava, but we will grant that literal lava being cold is a hard one to do... In Chilled we have the cold ammonia-odored slush which oozes into the temple complex. In Blue we are presented with the Fickle Phlogiston, which likewise oozes. Of the two of these, I vastly prefer the phlogiston as it plays a greater role in the adventure, being the magical substance which propels the ship, animates the dead, and makes the coins jump. But I will give full points to both adventures for the ingredient. Benevolence. It won't necessarily last.The second ingredient, the befuddled werewolf, is, in my opinion used better in Blue than in Chilled. While it is befuddled in Chilled, the werewolf doesn’t actually do much but follow the party around and allow itself to be cured. In Blue, on the other hand, if there is a weakness, it is in the befuddled condition not really being played up, though one can imagine the antics of a two headed werewolf trying to decide whether to chase the squirrel or the car. I am guessing, though I could be wrong, that this might be a case where the word count cut out some potential detail. Still, the two-headed lycanthropic ettin presents, in my view a better dynamic than the cursed brother who doesn’t really do much of anything.The despondent marine is also used better in Blue than in Chilled. In Chilled, he is little more than a descriptor given to a rather generic NPC, and it could have just as easily been a despondent merchant, or a despondent prince, or what-have-you. The soldier in Blue is himself not much more than informative window-dressing, but at least his place in the world is a little bit more relevant to the story.On the other hand, I find the woods: sunlit and shallow, to be much more evocative in Chilled. The easy path of Blue is just that – an easy path, and only one of two possible routes. It is entirely possible not to even interact with the ingredient in the adventure. The use in Chilled, with the interpretation of a bright, sunken wood in shallow water that must be swam through, was, I felt, one of the most picturesque in the whole adventure, and I heartily approved the use.Then we come to jumping coins. In magic, a jumping coin is a trick in which a coin appears to move from one locale to another, and I was interested to see how this ingredient would be used. Chilled gives us a game of Checkers with elements of Othello, which is okay, but somehow unsatisfactory to me. The jumping coins of Blue, on the other hand, present a fun challenge if the PCs try to collect them and may be used as a weapon or distraction against the werewolf. I want to give a slight edge to Blue here, but admittedly the game in Chilled is slightly more integral to the story, so its something of a wash.Then finally we have the ingredient: cheating death. Blue makes the classic blunder of having the ingredient be something akin to background. While Chilled is a bit cliché in having to play against death, with death being a cheater, it is at least something the PCs must encounter and deal with. Advantage here to Chilled.All of which means that thus far the adventures are about even…Except one of them is more polished than the other, and far more utilitarian because of it, and for this judgment that is going to make all the difference.Reading through Blue, I feel like I could take the ideas as presented and use them without too much difficulty. Blue also appeals to my sensibilities, having a decent story-line, the illusion of meaningful choices to make, and a bit of whimsy, which never hurts. The only place where Blue falls down for me is that I don’t particularly like gnomes. But that’s me and I am aware of my prejudice in this regards. There is also, perhaps, a bit of weakness in the two paths offered, especially in that one path allows the complete bypassing of an ingredient, but even here the choice offers consequences. Slow, but with more danger at the end, or fast, with more danger up-front. I like that. The adventure is not epic, but it is memorable.Chilled on the other hand feels unfinished, and reading through it, I find I would have to answer quite a few questions before I could run it. What are the challenges the party must overcome to get the coins? Why is death hanging around in a temple to the moon? Why is the brother cursed? There is a plenty of theme in the adventure, but some of that theme is disjointed. Too much backstory can kill an adventure. This particular entry however offers us virtually no backstory and suffers because of it. The adventure also suffers because too many of the challenges must be solved in a single way, and I am not sure what happens if the PCs use the wrong coin at the wrong time or in the wrong place. Forcing players to try and guess what the DM/Designer is thinking or wanting can be a bit frustrating, especially in a linear dungeon crawl where progress cannot be made until players get the clues right. I think, with work, this could be a very cool story and a fun game to play through. But as presented, it reads more game notes one might scribble down before running a session, and less like a fully worked out adventure, at least to me. It lacks both a solid beginning and even a solid ending, instead just coming to a stop with the leaving-the-temple-puzzle.For these reasons, I am giving the win this match to [USER=59816]@FitzTheRuke[/USER] and Out of the Blue. Congratulations!Neurotic’s Chilling with Death Followed the Rules) 6/6Ingredient UseCold Lava 2Befuddled Werewolf 1Despondent Marine 1Woods: Sunlit and Shallow 2Jumping Coins 1.5Cheating Death 2 = 9.5/12Useability 4/6Style 4/6                             Total 23.5/30Out of the BlueFollowed the Rules 6/6Ingredient useCold Lava 2Befuddled Werewolf 2Despondent Marine 2Woods: Sunlit and Shallow 1Jumping Coins 1.5Cheating Death 1 = 9.5/12Useability 6/6Style 5/6                                Total 26.5/30</blockquote>

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