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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Rune" data-source="post: 8168743" data-attributes="member: 67">Judgement for Round 3, 3rd-Place Match: el-remmen vs. Iron SkyWell, this was fun. With one-hour, you know you’re in for a different form of adventure, for sure. Most likely a first draft. Ingredients that are less developed than they otherwise might be. And, dare I say, likely a tendency toward more cinematic adventures over richly-complex and socially-in-depth ones.Do these assumptions hold true in this match? Let’s take a look:Ingredients:Ship MastIn “Lithovorisaur” (“Lith”), we have a ship mast which is intentially destroyed by the main villain in furtherance of his schemes. It is a necessary step in the movement of the adventure.In “The Island Time Forgot” (“Time”), we have two ship masts, both echoing each other’s purpose; they are essentially signposts to point out where the adventure is. I think their implementation here is better for the adventure than the one in “Lith,” but the actual ingredient is probably not as strong, so “Lith” 1, “Time” 0.Dinosaur Bandits“Lith” gives us a dino-riding bandit who is trying to steal a dinosaur. This is the primary antagonist and, thus, a significant presence in the adventure. Pretty good.“Time” gives us some dinosaur-poachers who are the basis for adventure, but only present in parts. It also gives us some dinosaurs that are trying to dominate the world, which is nice, but they, too, are only a part of the whole.Usually, I’m pretty wary of ingredients that get multiple forms. Unless they are trying to reinforce a theme, it usually comes off as a lack of conviction on the part of the author that their ingredient is well-used. And that’s usually a well-placed concern.So, are the two uses in “Time” establishing a theme? What would that be? Let’s see. The poachers are taking dinosaurs (that already don’t belong, though the poachers can’t know that) and taking them elsewhere. And, in so doing, activate the threat of the evolved-dinosaur infiltration.If the theme is “banditry leads to bad things” we would expect to see that the evolved dinos’ efforts also lead to something worse, but we don’t. If the theme is “everybody is a bandit in one way or another” I think the first of the three hooks suggests otherwise. Maybe there’s something there, but I’m not seeing it. “Lith” 2, “Time” 0.Lone Survivor“Lith” gives us a lone survivor of a wrecked ship who is the primary (lone) antagonist of the adventure. I’m not so sure how important it is that the survivor has no living allies, but the survival part is enhanced by the fact that the wreck happens during the course of the adventure.“Time” seemingly gives us two lone survivors. The minor NPC, as it happens, is not actually the lone survivor of his scuttled ship, but that gives room for the actual lone survivor, the dino-Jedi, to fill the role more comfortably. He’s a great NPC. Part antagonist, part ally, and all concealed villain. It is important that he is a survivor of his ship’s wreck, but the fact that he is the only one seems less so. Further, that wreck happened (long) before the events of the adventure, so I have to lean toward “Lith” again. “Lith” 3, “Time” 0.Golden Egg“Lith” has an egg that’s actual value is tied in with it’s material and the fact that it is an egg very much matters to the shape of the adventure. This is good.“Time” has a very flavorful macguffin. The imagery really fits in with its role, but its color/material is of no import. And neither is its form, really. Why not have a nutrient bath do the evolving? Classical music? Mad science(!)? “Lith” 4, “Time” 0.Rough Transition“Lith” provides us with a rough transition in the form of a rogue wave that wrecks the PCs’ ship. It comes out of nowhere (being a rogue wave) and pretty much just moves the adventure along to the next part. Which is, in itself, a rough transition.The missed opportunity, here, is that the adventure had already established that the steamship has a nuclear turbine. Its destruction (by some means, ideally brought about by the PCs’ actions) could have caused the wave and help tie things together (also hint that the steamship is wrecked), but the adventure seems to indicate otherwise.“Time” has two rough transitions. The first of these is the unstable evolution of the dino-mobs that the PCs need to get through. The second is the take-over of the world through them. I think these two are sufficiently linked to say they support each other. “Lith” 4, “Time” 1.Laser Sword“Lith” gives the laser sword to its antagonist, who uses it to quickly cut through the PCs’ ship-mast, and in a cinematic climactic battle. This is very cool. And, yet, it contributes to a pretty big problem that this adventure has, but I’ll get back to that.“Time” has a laser sword that, as far as I can tell, has no importance in the adventure at all. “Lith” 5, “Time” 1.That looks pretty one-sided, but I will note that a few of the better ingredients in a pair were only marginally so. My initial assumptions are so far pretty well supported.Adventure TIme:Hooks and Stakes:The most interesting thing about the hook in “Lith” is that it isn’t true, and the PCs don’t find that out for a while (although, they may have a hint at the start, if they know enough about the world). The stakes of the adventure come about incrementally with each new turn of events.“Time” gives three varied hooks that are each pretty good and lay out initial stakes pretty well. Unfortunately, the actual stakes of the adventure probably aren’t going to be known until long after it concludes. I find that very intriguing, but it’s probably not all that great for the DM running the game.It would be better if there were ways for the PCs to find out parts of the dinos’ plans along the way, both to increase the uncertainty of how to interact with the villain, and just to enhance a sense of investment in the outcome. Still, probably better than “Lith” in this area.Adventure Shape:“Lith” is an action-packed, cinematic adventure that takes its PCs from one set-piece to another. It looks, at least on the surface, like a lot of fun.That checks out with my initial assumptions.I also really like the options laid out in the aftermath section.“Time” has some of that, but it doesn’t really detail any of it. Instead, it gives us opportunities to explore, some interesting NPCs to interact with (through diplomacy, other social means, or, possibly, violence). And it gives us an unexpected twist that changes the assumptions of the world. There is some surprisingly complex and rewarding gameplay, here.Which is better?[spoiler]”Lith” is uncharacteristically linear for [USER=60965]@Iron Sky[/USER]. This isn’t necessarily a problem, in the right context, but I think there are a few things that are working to enhance the problems that its linearity is going to introduce.First of all, this adventure’s unique setting assumptions seem to want it to be a one-shot, which is fine. But those same assumptions make me think that it wouldn’t really work unless it also used pre-generated characters.Here’s why: In a world with laser swords and gatling guns, if the PCs can choose the equipment that they start with, they are going to choose those things!What happens if the pirate captain and/or the elite squad get killed while raiding the PCs’ ship?What happens if the pirates’ steamship gets shot to bits with a gatling gun?Or the life raft?Or the dinosaurs?The answers to each of these questions could be a lot of fun, but the adventure completely fails to help the DM figure out what those would be.On the other hand, “Time” is pretty solid in form and function. I do think it could use some tightening, but, despite initial appearances, I think it would be far easier to run than “Lith.”Well, maybe not, but that’s only because I’m confident in the improvisational skill that I’m pretty sure “Lith” would require of me. Unless, as indicated earlier, all of the PCs start without the nifty weapons.[USER=11]@el-remmen[/USER] gets my recommendation for 3rd-place in this tournament. But I want to point out that, despite my criticisms, 1-hour is an insane challenge (which I have never personally faced, by the way — I suspect that I would be far too slow a writer/thinker to manage it). [/spoiler]I am genuinely impressed with the quality of both of these entries, and, in Iron Sky’s case, the 25-minute rewrite makes his entry all the more impressive.</blockquote>

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