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<blockquote data-quote="Wicht" data-source="post: 9193433" data-attributes="member: 221"><p><strong>Iron DM 2023 Round 2, Match 1</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>[USER=59816]@FitzTheRuke[/USER] vs. [USER=11760]@Whizbang Dustyboots[/USER] </strong></p><p></p><p>For the first match of our second round, we have two adventures, each centered around the idea of a reality show featuring adventurers. Surprisingly, to me, neither adventure went for an X-crawl style game, opting instead, in the case of FitztheRuke’s “<strong>Whose Turn is it, Anyway</strong>,” (hereafter <strong><em>Turn</em></strong>) for a game within a game comedic reality jaunt, and in the case of Whizbang Dustyboot’s “<strong>Traitor’s Ruin</strong>,” (hereafter <strong><em>Ruin</em></strong>) for an arena style , confused identity, free-for-all for the viewing pleasure of a demonic reversed-she-drider and her friends.</p><p></p><p>We shall score them using my usual system, and both being turned in on time and under word count, both get full marks for following the rules.</p><p></p><p>I will add an observation that <strong><em>Turn</em></strong> was only 2/3rd the length it could have been, and there was plenty of space for more detail. <strong><em>Ruin</em></strong> was closer to full word-count but in some ways felt shorter than <strong><em>Turn</em></strong>. This was in large part I think to the fact that <strong><em>Ruin</em></strong> spent almost 300 words detailing a spell, which while an interesting sort of thing, was not really necessary. This is a good time to mention that contestants don’t get bonus points for monster stats, spell write-ups, magic item write-ups, or any such thing. That’s not what we are looking for in these judgments. We want the outline of an adventure, not the full write-up of the adventure, and certainly not all the stat blocks for that adventure. Also while you are free to specify which specific edition you are writing your adventure for, generally that is not going to matter all that much either.</p><p></p><p>Let’s get into looking at the ingredients, the use of which is at the heart of this contest.</p><p></p><p>Our first ingredient was “<strong>Ruined Monastery</strong>.” In both adventures, the monastery is the chief setting of the action, but in neither case is it much more than a generic locale that just happened to once have been the homes of some monks. They are both fairly generic excuses to have a dungeon. I don’t have too much more to say then that the ingredient was checked off in both cases, and neither one really made me take notice of the ingredient use.</p><p></p><p>The second ingredient, <strong>silent chime</strong>, in <strong><em>Turn</em></strong>, is equally as uninspired as the first, being a silenced alarm spell. Likewise, in <strong><em>Ruin</em></strong>, there’s a bell where the ringing of it is still felt but not heard, but other than presenting something of a ghostly atmosphere, I am not sure what purpose it plays in the adventure. I’m not really seeing an advantage either way. In <strong><em>Turn</em></strong>, the alarm has a point but the players never notice it; in <strong><em>Ruin</em></strong>, the players notice it, but there’s not much point to it.</p><p></p><p>The third ingredient, “<strong>Face Blindness</strong>” is used a bit more creatively in both adventures, though I think I am going to give the advantage to <strong><em>Turn</em></strong>, in that the face blindness of <strong><em>Ruin</em></strong> is not so much face blindness as just changed faces, which is not quite the same thing. I am not completely sold on how the face blindness of the DM’s DM character is going to play out in game; is there going to be some sort of mechanism by which people are forgotten, or is it just completely arbitrary and at the whim of the guy running the guy running the game? Still, the idea has potential for some interesting situations, and shows an attempt to use the ingredient in a way that will affect the PCs.</p><p></p><p>When we get to the fourth ingredient, <strong>fighting words</strong>, I have to again give the advantage to <strong><em>Turn</em></strong>. The idea of a disembodied voice using a catch-phrase to initiate combat, and thus completely ruining any element of surprise (on either side) is novel, and thematically fits the adventure. In <strong><em>Ruin</em></strong>, I had to read the adventure a few times before deciding that the fighting words must be the words which conjured the PC into the monastic arena, but I can’t really see them as fighting words, because there is the possibility the PC doesn’t fight, and the words don’t necessarily precipitate an immediate fight.</p><p></p><p>With the <strong>extra-dimensional Arachnid</strong>, again the advantage seems to me to belong to Turn. The spider thing in Turn is the reason the PCs are drawn into the conflict, and is likewise the macguffin driving much of the plot. On the other hand, the spider-woman-demon of Ruin is seen only through puddles, is, I presume, the disembodied voice during the adventure, but doesn’t really do much, and doesn’t need to be a spider demon thing at all; it could just as easily have been a crocodile god, a puppy devil or a classic type V demon who is making a profit selling tickets to other demons to watch mortals slaughter each other. I wish there was some better motivation and explanation for what is happening to the PCs in Ruin. Too much backstory is not good, but I feel like no backstory is worse.</p><p></p><p>When we come to <strong>the</strong> <strong>hanged elf</strong>, I am not super thrilled with either entry, though if pressed, I slightly prefer <strong><em>Turn’s</em></strong>, though I find the idea of “hanged,” somewhat nebulous in <strong><em>Turn</em></strong>, and the whole of it seems like an afterthought tacked onto the rest of the story. It feels extraneous. In <strong><em>Ruin</em></strong>, the hanging elf feels to me like a use of the ingredient which has the potential to be something, but which just sort of falls flat. On the one hand, it doesn’t really have to be an elf, it could just as easily have been a dead dwarf, a dead halfling, or a dead ratkin. On the other hand, all the PCs have to do is cut the rope to free the ghost? That seems… anticlimactic. There’s no real conflict or challenge to the encounter, just cut the rope and reap the rewards. So advantage <strong><em>Turn</em></strong>, but not in any meaningful way with this one.</p><p></p><p>We come then to the final ingredient, and I’ll give both entries full marks for their use of the <strong>reality show</strong> as a reason for the adventure, though I wish the reason for the affair was actually explained in <strong><em>Ruin</em></strong>.</p><p></p><p>Getting to the end of the ingredients, it seems clear to me that <strong><em>Turn</em></strong> has a clear advantage over <strong><em>Ruin</em></strong>, but before passing judgment, lets talk about the useability of the two adventures. How well would a DM be able to take either entry and run a game with the idea. Both of the offerings suffer a bit in this area in my opinion. <strong><em>Ruin</em></strong> is, in some ways, the easier to run, but in practice I think the central conceit of the adventure, the PCs not knowing who each other are, and killing one another off unwittingly (at least I think that is meant to be the central conceit) is not going to play out as intended. There’s only four areas of the monastic arena and the Players sitting at the table are going to know who is who and are going to have a hard time separating character knowledge from player knowledge in such a way as to allow themselves to kill their fellow PCs. The dopplegangers make it a bit more confusing, but only a bit. And the whole “I quit” as an escape route… as soon as one PC figures that out, they all are going to know how to end the episode… and doesn’t it seem a bit out of character for evil demonic beings intent on watching mortals slaughtering each other (which I assume is what is supposed to be happening) to give such an easy escape clause? Then we have <strong><em>Turn</em></strong>, and while the idea behind the scenario is a cute one, reading through the adventure I kept getting the feeling this would make a good novel (Quag Keep?), short-story or even television episode, but I am not sure how it is going to work as a game. The DM has to pretend to be a different DM? The narration of this is going to get confusing. And the poor DM (like me) who doesn’t feel all that confident doing four hours of a Chris Rock impersonation? Sure, Scottish Dwarves and French Elves I can do. But I am not sure I could pull of a passable Chris Rock. So cute idea, but I am not sold on how well again it would work in practice. So as far as usability, both of them, as I said, suffer in my estimation.</p><p></p><p>So which one appeals to me more? And this is a harder call for me. I think, if <strong><em>Ruin</em></strong> had a better presentation, more backstory, less spell detailing, a few more encounters and the like, I would appreciate it better, but I find it more than a bit empty as an adventure. In short the PCs are teleported into a dungeon where they are expected to fight each other unwittingly, and they will also, likely fight their own dopplegangers. And at anytime they can chicken out and leave… That seems to be about it. No way to confront their captors, turn the tables, nor are they even likely to get the loot assuming they figure out the plot and escape.</p><p></p><p>On the other hand, I find the comedic elements of Turn to not be my cup of tea. The comedy seems to forced, and too likely to miss with most groups. Forcing a player to roleplay a celebrity knowingly roleplaying a character is asking a lot. With a gonzo group of improv players who do theater work on the side its probably going to be a truly great game. With most others its going to devolve into a standard dungeon crawl and the window dressing that is the voice of Chris Rock is going to get handwaved as understood as they figure out their strategy for the next room.</p><p></p><p>So I think that I should like <strong><em>Ruin</em></strong> better, but I don’t, but its not really because <strong><em>Turn</em></strong> appeals to me, so maybe call this one a wash as well.</p><p></p><p>[spoiler=”judgment”]</p><p></p><p>If you have read this far, the end result is not too surprising. Ingredient use, in my estimation, is the deciding factor, and I will vote for FitztheRuke to advance to the final round. Which means, as I look at Radiating Gnome’s opinion, Gradine gets the tie-breaking vote.</p><p></p><p><strong><u>Whose Turn is it, Anyway</u> (Turn)</strong></p><p><strong>Follows Rules 6</strong></p><p><strong>Ingredient Use</strong></p><p style="margin-left: 20px">Ruined Monastery 1</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px">Silent Chime 1</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px">Face Blindness 1.5</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px">Fighting Words 2</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px">Extradimensional Arachnid 2</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px">The Hanged Elf 1</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px">Reality Show 2 <strong> (total 10.5/12)</strong></p><p><strong>Useability 3</strong></p><p><strong>Appeal 3</strong></p><p><strong><u>TOTAL SCORE 22.5/32</u></strong></p><p><strong><u></u></strong></p><p><strong><u>Traitors Ruin </u>(Ruin)</strong></p><p><strong>Follows Rules 6</strong></p><p><strong>Ingredients</strong></p><p style="margin-left: 20px">Ruined Monastery 1</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px">Silent Chime 1</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px">Face Blindness 1</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px">Fighting Words .5</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px">Extradimensional Arachnid 1</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px">The Hanged Elf 1</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px">Reality Show 2 <strong>(total 7.5/14)</strong></p><p><strong>Useability 3 </strong></p><p><strong>Appeal 3</strong></p><p><strong><u>TOTAL SCORE 19.5/32</u> </strong>[/spoiler]</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Wicht, post: 9193433, member: 221"] [B]Iron DM 2023 Round 2, Match 1 [USER=59816]@FitzTheRuke[/USER] vs. [USER=11760]@Whizbang Dustyboots[/USER] [/B] For the first match of our second round, we have two adventures, each centered around the idea of a reality show featuring adventurers. Surprisingly, to me, neither adventure went for an X-crawl style game, opting instead, in the case of FitztheRuke’s “[B]Whose Turn is it, Anyway[/B],” (hereafter [B][I]Turn[/I][/B]) for a game within a game comedic reality jaunt, and in the case of Whizbang Dustyboot’s “[B]Traitor’s Ruin[/B],” (hereafter [B][I]Ruin[/I][/B]) for an arena style , confused identity, free-for-all for the viewing pleasure of a demonic reversed-she-drider and her friends. We shall score them using my usual system, and both being turned in on time and under word count, both get full marks for following the rules. I will add an observation that [B][I]Turn[/I][/B] was only 2/3rd the length it could have been, and there was plenty of space for more detail. [B][I]Ruin[/I][/B] was closer to full word-count but in some ways felt shorter than [B][I]Turn[/I][/B]. This was in large part I think to the fact that [B][I]Ruin[/I][/B] spent almost 300 words detailing a spell, which while an interesting sort of thing, was not really necessary. This is a good time to mention that contestants don’t get bonus points for monster stats, spell write-ups, magic item write-ups, or any such thing. That’s not what we are looking for in these judgments. We want the outline of an adventure, not the full write-up of the adventure, and certainly not all the stat blocks for that adventure. Also while you are free to specify which specific edition you are writing your adventure for, generally that is not going to matter all that much either. Let’s get into looking at the ingredients, the use of which is at the heart of this contest. Our first ingredient was “[B]Ruined Monastery[/B].” In both adventures, the monastery is the chief setting of the action, but in neither case is it much more than a generic locale that just happened to once have been the homes of some monks. They are both fairly generic excuses to have a dungeon. I don’t have too much more to say then that the ingredient was checked off in both cases, and neither one really made me take notice of the ingredient use. The second ingredient, [B]silent chime[/B], in [B][I]Turn[/I][/B], is equally as uninspired as the first, being a silenced alarm spell. Likewise, in [B][I]Ruin[/I][/B], there’s a bell where the ringing of it is still felt but not heard, but other than presenting something of a ghostly atmosphere, I am not sure what purpose it plays in the adventure. I’m not really seeing an advantage either way. In [B][I]Turn[/I][/B], the alarm has a point but the players never notice it; in [B][I]Ruin[/I][/B], the players notice it, but there’s not much point to it. The third ingredient, “[B]Face Blindness[/B]” is used a bit more creatively in both adventures, though I think I am going to give the advantage to [B][I]Turn[/I][/B], in that the face blindness of [B][I]Ruin[/I][/B] is not so much face blindness as just changed faces, which is not quite the same thing. I am not completely sold on how the face blindness of the DM’s DM character is going to play out in game; is there going to be some sort of mechanism by which people are forgotten, or is it just completely arbitrary and at the whim of the guy running the guy running the game? Still, the idea has potential for some interesting situations, and shows an attempt to use the ingredient in a way that will affect the PCs. When we get to the fourth ingredient, [B]fighting words[/B], I have to again give the advantage to [B][I]Turn[/I][/B]. The idea of a disembodied voice using a catch-phrase to initiate combat, and thus completely ruining any element of surprise (on either side) is novel, and thematically fits the adventure. In [B][I]Ruin[/I][/B], I had to read the adventure a few times before deciding that the fighting words must be the words which conjured the PC into the monastic arena, but I can’t really see them as fighting words, because there is the possibility the PC doesn’t fight, and the words don’t necessarily precipitate an immediate fight. With the [B]extra-dimensional Arachnid[/B], again the advantage seems to me to belong to Turn. The spider thing in Turn is the reason the PCs are drawn into the conflict, and is likewise the macguffin driving much of the plot. On the other hand, the spider-woman-demon of Ruin is seen only through puddles, is, I presume, the disembodied voice during the adventure, but doesn’t really do much, and doesn’t need to be a spider demon thing at all; it could just as easily have been a crocodile god, a puppy devil or a classic type V demon who is making a profit selling tickets to other demons to watch mortals slaughter each other. I wish there was some better motivation and explanation for what is happening to the PCs in Ruin. Too much backstory is not good, but I feel like no backstory is worse. When we come to [B]the[/B] [B]hanged elf[/B], I am not super thrilled with either entry, though if pressed, I slightly prefer [B][I]Turn’s[/I][/B], though I find the idea of “hanged,” somewhat nebulous in [B][I]Turn[/I][/B], and the whole of it seems like an afterthought tacked onto the rest of the story. It feels extraneous. In [B][I]Ruin[/I][/B], the hanging elf feels to me like a use of the ingredient which has the potential to be something, but which just sort of falls flat. On the one hand, it doesn’t really have to be an elf, it could just as easily have been a dead dwarf, a dead halfling, or a dead ratkin. On the other hand, all the PCs have to do is cut the rope to free the ghost? That seems… anticlimactic. There’s no real conflict or challenge to the encounter, just cut the rope and reap the rewards. So advantage [B][I]Turn[/I][/B], but not in any meaningful way with this one. We come then to the final ingredient, and I’ll give both entries full marks for their use of the [B]reality show[/B] as a reason for the adventure, though I wish the reason for the affair was actually explained in [B][I]Ruin[/I][/B]. Getting to the end of the ingredients, it seems clear to me that [B][I]Turn[/I][/B] has a clear advantage over [B][I]Ruin[/I][/B], but before passing judgment, lets talk about the useability of the two adventures. How well would a DM be able to take either entry and run a game with the idea. Both of the offerings suffer a bit in this area in my opinion. [B][I]Ruin[/I][/B] is, in some ways, the easier to run, but in practice I think the central conceit of the adventure, the PCs not knowing who each other are, and killing one another off unwittingly (at least I think that is meant to be the central conceit) is not going to play out as intended. There’s only four areas of the monastic arena and the Players sitting at the table are going to know who is who and are going to have a hard time separating character knowledge from player knowledge in such a way as to allow themselves to kill their fellow PCs. The dopplegangers make it a bit more confusing, but only a bit. And the whole “I quit” as an escape route… as soon as one PC figures that out, they all are going to know how to end the episode… and doesn’t it seem a bit out of character for evil demonic beings intent on watching mortals slaughtering each other (which I assume is what is supposed to be happening) to give such an easy escape clause? Then we have [B][I]Turn[/I][/B], and while the idea behind the scenario is a cute one, reading through the adventure I kept getting the feeling this would make a good novel (Quag Keep?), short-story or even television episode, but I am not sure how it is going to work as a game. The DM has to pretend to be a different DM? The narration of this is going to get confusing. And the poor DM (like me) who doesn’t feel all that confident doing four hours of a Chris Rock impersonation? Sure, Scottish Dwarves and French Elves I can do. But I am not sure I could pull of a passable Chris Rock. So cute idea, but I am not sold on how well again it would work in practice. So as far as usability, both of them, as I said, suffer in my estimation. So which one appeals to me more? And this is a harder call for me. I think, if [B][I]Ruin[/I][/B] had a better presentation, more backstory, less spell detailing, a few more encounters and the like, I would appreciate it better, but I find it more than a bit empty as an adventure. In short the PCs are teleported into a dungeon where they are expected to fight each other unwittingly, and they will also, likely fight their own dopplegangers. And at anytime they can chicken out and leave… That seems to be about it. No way to confront their captors, turn the tables, nor are they even likely to get the loot assuming they figure out the plot and escape. On the other hand, I find the comedic elements of Turn to not be my cup of tea. The comedy seems to forced, and too likely to miss with most groups. Forcing a player to roleplay a celebrity knowingly roleplaying a character is asking a lot. With a gonzo group of improv players who do theater work on the side its probably going to be a truly great game. With most others its going to devolve into a standard dungeon crawl and the window dressing that is the voice of Chris Rock is going to get handwaved as understood as they figure out their strategy for the next room. So I think that I should like [B][I]Ruin[/I][/B] better, but I don’t, but its not really because [B][I]Turn[/I][/B] appeals to me, so maybe call this one a wash as well. [spoiler=”judgment”] If you have read this far, the end result is not too surprising. Ingredient use, in my estimation, is the deciding factor, and I will vote for FitztheRuke to advance to the final round. Which means, as I look at Radiating Gnome’s opinion, Gradine gets the tie-breaking vote. [B][U]Whose Turn is it, Anyway[/U] (Turn) Follows Rules 6 Ingredient Use[/B] [INDENT]Ruined Monastery 1[/INDENT] [INDENT]Silent Chime 1[/INDENT] [INDENT]Face Blindness 1.5[/INDENT] [INDENT]Fighting Words 2[/INDENT] [INDENT]Extradimensional Arachnid 2[/INDENT] [INDENT]The Hanged Elf 1[/INDENT] [INDENT]Reality Show 2 [B] (total 10.5/12)[/B][/INDENT] [B]Useability 3 Appeal 3 [U]TOTAL SCORE 22.5/32 Traitors Ruin [/U](Ruin) Follows Rules 6 Ingredients[/B] [INDENT]Ruined Monastery 1[/INDENT] [INDENT]Silent Chime 1[/INDENT] [INDENT]Face Blindness 1[/INDENT] [INDENT]Fighting Words .5[/INDENT] [INDENT]Extradimensional Arachnid 1[/INDENT] [INDENT]The Hanged Elf 1[/INDENT] [INDENT]Reality Show 2 [B](total 7.5/14)[/B][/INDENT] [B]Useability 3 Appeal 3 [U]TOTAL SCORE 19.5/32[/U] [/B][/spoiler][B][/B] [/QUOTE]
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