Upgrade your account to a Community Supporter account and remove most of the site ads.

Reply to thread

Message: <blockquote data-quote="seasong" data-source="post: 451299" data-attributes="member: 5137">Just a note: I will critique stuff as it comes in, rather than waiting for any two people to post (kobold kidnappings are simply too unpredictable <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=";)" title="Wink    ;)"  data-smilie="2"data-shortname=";)" />).An entry by mirthcard: The Ballad of Mad JackOverviewThis felt unfinished to me, but what was there was excellent. I would have liked to see a bit more from the city and tree, particularly since mirthcard managed irony, which was much harder.IngredientsWraith w/levels of Bard: Although I might have liked to see the wraith aspect take on more importance, this was definitely a proper use of the ingredient. Ironically, it's more like a bard with levels of wraith...Magic ring of irony: This is always going to be a tough ingredient, simply because irony is difficult to pull off. In this case, I felt that it was well used... particularly since the irony isn't in the granted wishes (what we, the audience, expected), but in the ring's reward for its actions. By twisting Jack's wishes to escape, it has doomed itself to centuries with Jack, and possibly ending up as a tasty pudding snack.A large city: Okay, it's in the bottle. This felt tacked on, and really had no relevance to the scenario itself. While the image is neat, I really would have liked a better link in.Tasty pudding: The best part of the scenario, I think, was the tasty pudding. Not only do we get the original meaning (in Jack's wish), but we get a great new NPC to play with, and Jack's guardian.The Tree of Knowledge: Well... it fits. However, the lack of any information on what is needed to find it (perhaps an ironic location, like inside the bottled city Jack's been carrying around for centuries?) makes this scenario feel very incomplete. Especially since it would not have taken much to complete it.Barbarian rage: Tacked on. Maybe if the pudding (as an Awakened creature) had been established as a barbarian, or if it was explicitly stated that the ring enchanted the pudding to rage in defense of Jack, but otherwise, this fell flat.Three of the six ingredients were very well done, but what disappointed me was that the remaining three could have been really well done, as well. From the ingredient standpoint, this was a fairly typical scenario (3 for 3), but it had so much potential!CraftsmanshipOne short paragraph detailing what's needed to find the Tree of Knowledge would have made this complete. As it is, we've got a brief (30-60 minute) hook for the players before the DM has to get really creative.Still, as a hook it's very well played, and meeting a sweet-voiced wraith and its pet Huge pudding is definitely a memorable encounter.As a side note, in the second to last paragraph, the author takes NO CHANCES that I'll miss the irony of the ring being stuck with Jack. Not that I would have missed it <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=";)" title="Wink    ;)"  data-smilie="2"data-shortname=";)" />, but this might be a good idea for future Iron DM competitors to keep in mind - the judge/DM doesn't need to be impressed with your subtlety, the players do. And the players won't be reading the scenario.OriginalityJack is an interesting, solid, memorable character that I would not have thought of but could have great fun running. I kind of imagine him as Otto (from A Fish Called Wanda) with a lute.And the pudding was tasty!</blockquote>

Verification