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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Mirth" data-source="post: 451358" data-attributes="member: 5242">Thanks seasong for the informed criticism. I'm going to defend/explain myself point by point here, but I'll say first of all that most of your criticism was dead on. Anyway, here goes…I started writing this based on what I thought were strong elements/concepts that had been underused/misused in the original Iron DM competition with these ingredients - irony being the one I wanted to nail (English major). I'll be the first to agree with you that this was unfinished. Having not heard back from mmadsen about an extension, I decided to bang out what I had and submit it. Funny enough, when I copied and pasted the scenario into my reply box, I realized that mmadsen had replied to my request just before. I could have taken a few hours more (and the boards went down right afterwards), but I was tired and my son wasn't feeling well, so… Turns out that was the right decision, because my wife got sick as well and I've been up all night taking care of the both of them. (They are sleeping right now <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> ) Not that you needed to know any of that.I used the wraith angle mostly to give Jack a sad immortality, rather than for him to be a menancing threat. Of course, if the party handles things badly… And there's that Irony thing again <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />This was what I spent the most time on. I'm glad that at least the hard work that went into this ingredient could be seen.At first, I was going to have the party find the bottle floating in the middle of the Black Pudding, with the Ring calling out to them for help. Jack would be living in the city with all of his dead loved ones around him, completely mad and he would have been much more aggresive and evil in his acts when he came out of the bottle to confront the party - not wanting to give up the Ring, etc. But then I decided that the scenario played better with Jack as a sympathetic character, and it was less Tolkienesque, more unique. I still needed the city for the ingredient, of course, and I thought it made for a neat visual effect as well as a funny joke about Jack's love life. Not the best use, but I liked it.Gotta love the pudding. When I first read that ingredient list while following the Iron DM competition, this guy sprang to mind. I also thought it helped me get out of the situation of whether incognito meant pudding in the American or British sense. As that was one of the weakest elements in the official submissions, I felt this was a definite improvement. I was going to name him, but the word 'pudding' is so much more fun to use.This was meant to be a macguffin all along. In a 'normal' D&D session, the players would of course seek out the Tree of Knowledge on some kind of epic quest to save Jack and 'set things right.' But I wanted the answer to be there in front of them all along - the Ring. That's why I didn't detail it. If a DM really wanted to take a party there, then they could fill in the details.I'm in total agreement on this one. I was going to have the Pudding as a more savage and out-of-control character just to make this ingredient fit, but I liked him more as a refined and picky effete upper-class Brit. Instead, I decided that if and when his only friend Jack is killed, his true Black  Pudding qualities come out in the form of an all-consuming appetite for destruction, both figuratively and metaphorically. But I probably would have left it out if it wasn't required.Giving each ingredient its own fair shake in a 3-4 paragraph scenario seemed to be pushing it a bit, especially given the take I had on 3 of the elements and the time crunch I was under. I know, excuses, excuses…It's a macguffin (see comments above).Thanks.I feel all too often that Iron DM competitors make subtlety a strong point and end up losing because of it. If I took time to put an element in there (especially one that I spent the most time on), then I'm going to make damn sure that the judge sees it.I imagined him more like Joey from Friends, sadly enough. If I had to pick a character from A Fish Called Wanda, I'd go with Ken (Michael Palin), although he's more sweet than stupid.Indeed!Thanks again, seasong, for the lengthy reply and I hope this helps you see where I was coming from. I gotta get in the next Iron DM though. It seems like you have to be really lucky to hit that recruitment at the right time. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f641.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":(" title="Frown    :("  data-smilie="3"data-shortname=":(" /></blockquote>

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