Menu
News
All News
Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
Pathfinder
Starfinder
Warhammer
2d20 System
Year Zero Engine
Industry News
Reviews
Dragon Reflections
Columns
Weekly Digests
Weekly News Digest
Freebies, Sales & Bundles
RPG Print News
RPG Crowdfunding News
Game Content
ENterplanetary DimENsions
Mythological Figures
Opinion
Worlds of Design
Peregrine's Next
RPG Evolution
Other Columns
From the Freelancing Frontline
Monster ENcyclopedia
WotC/TSR Alumni Look Back
4 Hours w/RSD (Ryan Dancey)
The Road to 3E (Jonathan Tweet)
Greenwood's Realms (Ed Greenwood)
Drawmij's TSR (Jim Ward)
Community
Forums & Topics
Forum List
Latest Posts
Forum list
*Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
D&D Older Editions
*TTRPGs General
*Pathfinder & Starfinder
EN Publishing
*Geek Talk & Media
Search forums
Chat/Discord
Resources
Wiki
Pages
Latest activity
Media
New media
New comments
Search media
Downloads
Latest reviews
Search resources
EN Publishing
Store
EN5ider
Adventures in ZEITGEIST
Awfully Cheerful Engine
What's OLD is NEW
Judge Dredd & The Worlds Of 2000AD
War of the Burning Sky
Level Up: Advanced 5E
Events & Releases
Upcoming Events
Private Events
Featured Events
Socials!
Twitch
YouTube
Facebook (EN Publishing)
Facebook (EN World)
Twitter
Instagram
TikTok
Podcast
Features
Top 5 RPGs Compiled Charts 2004-Present
Adventure Game Industry Market Research Summary (RPGs) V1.0
Ryan Dancey: Acquiring TSR
Q&A With Gary Gygax
D&D Rules FAQs
TSR, WotC, & Paizo: A Comparative History
D&D Pronunciation Guide
Million Dollar TTRPG Kickstarters
Tabletop RPG Podcast Hall of Fame
Eric Noah's Unofficial D&D 3rd Edition News
D&D in the Mainstream
D&D & RPG History
About Morrus
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
Forums & Topics
Forum List
Latest Posts
Forum list
*Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
D&D Older Editions
*TTRPGs General
*Pathfinder & Starfinder
EN Publishing
*Geek Talk & Media
Search forums
Chat/Discord
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
The
VOIDRUNNER'S CODEX
is coming! Explore new worlds, fight oppressive empires, fend off fearsome aliens, and wield deadly psionics with this comprehensive boxed set expansion for 5E and A5E!
Community
General Tabletop Discussion
*TTRPGs General
[IRON DM] Spring 2004 Contest Thread FINAL JUDGMENT POSTED, CHAMPION ANNOUNCED!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Wulf Ratbane" data-source="post: 1494219" data-attributes="member: 94"><p>At first glance, carpedavid’s entry is only four pages to Capellan’s five, and with a layout that’s easy on the eyes. While not strictly a judging criteria, competitors should be aware that this can only engender happy feelings in the judge.</p><p></p><p>But now, on to the criticism.</p><p></p><p>I had hoped by simply including the Comic Timing ingredient, that I would have some laugh out loud moments reading these entries, and neither entrant let me down. Capellan had a pun or two that were just terrible, terrible—by which I mean, of course, they were very good. And CD incorporates puns right into 12:2’s abilities—I absolutely love the idea of counterspelling by using puns to distract his opponents.</p><p></p><p>It is never a good idea, in this judge’s opinion, for an entry to bog down with mechanics. However, when the mechanics are central to the resolution of the adventure—as they are in the case of CD’s Diplomacy check against the formian overlords—they are a much appreciated touch. An entrant can always spare a line or a parenthetical reference for key mechanics, especially skills and DCs.</p><p></p><p>CD’s adventure builds to one great scene: A fight in the brewery. Now, as I’ve just finished chastising a prior entry for building to “one big fight” I’d like to point out a couple of things that CD did differently, and did right. (And, for the record, Capellan did just as well.)</p><p></p><p>First, he’s offered several ways for the PCs to get to this point, whether they are there in support of 12:2 or in pursuit of him. There are ways for the DM to subtly direct players to a particular scene that he would like to play out, without making them feel like they are being railroaded.</p><p></p><p>And once there, you’ll note that he offers lots of vivid details of the locale that make the fight interesting—the vats, the pipes, the flammable clouds of wheat chaff. If you are going to end your adventure with a fight, make sure it is spectacular.</p><p></p><p>If I had a criticism of CD’s handling here, it would be to more explicitly build towards this scene. If the players take 12:2 in the formian hive, there are not details provided to make that scene come to life. As such, I think it’s imperative that the DM drive the PCs to the brewery, and a few notes showing how the DM can deftly do that would have helped.</p><p></p><p>Ultimately, and I think quite obviously, it isn’t patently <em>wrong</em> for an adventure to end in just one big fight—in fact I would say that most adventures do. The trick is to make sure that when you get there, it is a scene, a spectacle—and not anti-climactic. You don’t want to feel that the adventure ended with just a <em>fight</em>, you want to end it with a <em>climactic battle</em>. That’s the essence of it, and both entrants did a fine job with just such a setup.</p><p></p><p>Overall CD’s entry is very tight, all of the elements are blended together well and none seem out of place. The Arborean setting overall, with the rolling fields of grain for the brewery and the giant anthill in the middle, seems very clear in my mind.</p><p></p><p>There are a few ingredients CD used weakly, of course—there always are. Trailblazer is probably the most weakly used; and perhaps the Mustard Seed and Club Foot, as well. I always look for the ingredients to be presented in such a way that they are <strong>tangible[/I] to the PCs, something that they can interact with. Ingredients used as part of the setup or background are not, in my opinion, ingredients that are well-used. Just a few more notes about the effects of the mustard seed should the PCs interact with it, a bit more about how the club foot affects 12:2 (he’s got 5 more good ones, after all…) and the trailblazer… </strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>Well, the trailblazer is hardly used at all. I keep asking myself if it scuttles the entire entry. I can accept that Abu is a trailblazer, but where is the evidence of it for the PCs to see? It would have been less of a throwaway if Abu’s ales were called, “Trailblazer Brews.” It still wouldn’t have been a <em>good</em> use, but at least it would have been an ingredient that was more clearly there for the PCs “to taste,” so to speak. Don’t <em>tell</em> me he’s a trailblazer; <em>show</em> me.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>And one last parting shot: If the ingredient is Formian Overlords, don’t keep calling them Formian Myrmarchs (as much as I love saying the word Myrmarch).</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>Capellan’s entry has some good stuff, too, but right off the bat my immediate suspicion is that perhaps that Capellan was struggling with the Comic Timing element, and so sought to sprinkle the whole affair with a taste of whimsy. The timing of Wykros’ revenge does have a certain irony, as Capellan points out, but I don’t find it particularly comic.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>Capellan says there is comedy in the other scenes, but I think he knows me too well if he believes that the random slaughter of innocents qualifies as comedy. Okay, I admit it, the random slaughter of a troupe of clowns makes me grin. Now, mimes—slaughtering mimes—<em>that’s</em> pure comedy gold.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>But it’s not comic timing.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>The fight in Act Three, where once again innocent bystanders are sucked into a raging battle—complete with mustard jellies, food fights, spilled tables, falling flags—again, not exactly comic timing.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>Which is not to say that carpedavid (if he’s read this far rather than just skipping to the spoiler at the end), should really be feeling any better about his use of this most difficult, abstract ingredient. CD used it literally, and poorly—one of his actors simply has comic timing (though I suppose the DM can fill in the gaps, here). Capellan used it as a thematic element. But, if you’re going to use it as a thematic element, I think that there should be at least one instance of “A ha!” where timing of the comedy reveals itself, and that timing is relevant.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>I’m just now struck with the realization that Capellan rearranged the ingredients from the order in which they were assigned. Does that tell us something about the importance he placed on them?</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>Criticsm for the most part complete, let’s turn to the overall use of ingredients. I think both entrants placed about equal footing on the Club Foot, though in both cases it barely limps along as an ingredient. Both did equally well with the Brewery, setting it up as an interesting locale for the finale to come to a head. Both did poorly with the Trailblazer, which seemed to lag far behind in terms of importance. Capellan tried for the edge here, attempting to do double duty as the formian scent glands, though its use in that manner raised more questions (“Huh?”) than it answered. Both used the Formians as the central threat, though I believe the edge here goes to CD, simply because he placed more of an emphasis on the “Overlords” (despite calling them Myrmarchs and though they really could have been fleshed out a bit more). I’ve already mentioned the Comic Timing, which leaves only the Mustard Seed for comparison. I think clearly, the edge here goes to Capellan, whose tiny, frozen mustard jellies were a very cool twist.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>My gut reaction, overall, is that carpedavid had the more cohesive and coherent blend of ingredients. On the other hand, Capellan made more of an earnest effort to use more of the ingredients in a significant way. Carpedavid’s dish seems the more palatable because it did not use any of the ingredients in a heavy handed way, while Capellan, with the enthusiasm and gusto of a novice chef, may well have spoiled the batch through clumsy use of a couple of ingredients. Chief in this respect is his attempt at comic timing—but does a clumsy use warrant a loss against an underplayed use?</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>So I find myself in much the same position as the last matchup. Consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, so they say. This round goes to [spoiler]CarpeDavid. Although I think CD seriously underplayed a couple of the ingredients, I feel that he did a better job of building believable, coherent connections among all six ingredients.[/spoiler] I wish that both entrants had used all ingredients more strongly (and deftly), but such is the nature of this competition, and the whims of this particular judge.</strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Wulf Ratbane, post: 1494219, member: 94"] At first glance, carpedavid’s entry is only four pages to Capellan’s five, and with a layout that’s easy on the eyes. While not strictly a judging criteria, competitors should be aware that this can only engender happy feelings in the judge. But now, on to the criticism. I had hoped by simply including the Comic Timing ingredient, that I would have some laugh out loud moments reading these entries, and neither entrant let me down. Capellan had a pun or two that were just terrible, terrible—by which I mean, of course, they were very good. And CD incorporates puns right into 12:2’s abilities—I absolutely love the idea of counterspelling by using puns to distract his opponents. It is never a good idea, in this judge’s opinion, for an entry to bog down with mechanics. However, when the mechanics are central to the resolution of the adventure—as they are in the case of CD’s Diplomacy check against the formian overlords—they are a much appreciated touch. An entrant can always spare a line or a parenthetical reference for key mechanics, especially skills and DCs. CD’s adventure builds to one great scene: A fight in the brewery. Now, as I’ve just finished chastising a prior entry for building to “one big fight” I’d like to point out a couple of things that CD did differently, and did right. (And, for the record, Capellan did just as well.) First, he’s offered several ways for the PCs to get to this point, whether they are there in support of 12:2 or in pursuit of him. There are ways for the DM to subtly direct players to a particular scene that he would like to play out, without making them feel like they are being railroaded. And once there, you’ll note that he offers lots of vivid details of the locale that make the fight interesting—the vats, the pipes, the flammable clouds of wheat chaff. If you are going to end your adventure with a fight, make sure it is spectacular. If I had a criticism of CD’s handling here, it would be to more explicitly build towards this scene. If the players take 12:2 in the formian hive, there are not details provided to make that scene come to life. As such, I think it’s imperative that the DM drive the PCs to the brewery, and a few notes showing how the DM can deftly do that would have helped. Ultimately, and I think quite obviously, it isn’t patently [I]wrong[/I] for an adventure to end in just one big fight—in fact I would say that most adventures do. The trick is to make sure that when you get there, it is a scene, a spectacle—and not anti-climactic. You don’t want to feel that the adventure ended with just a [I]fight[/I], you want to end it with a [I]climactic battle[/I]. That’s the essence of it, and both entrants did a fine job with just such a setup. Overall CD’s entry is very tight, all of the elements are blended together well and none seem out of place. The Arborean setting overall, with the rolling fields of grain for the brewery and the giant anthill in the middle, seems very clear in my mind. There are a few ingredients CD used weakly, of course—there always are. Trailblazer is probably the most weakly used; and perhaps the Mustard Seed and Club Foot, as well. I always look for the ingredients to be presented in such a way that they are [b]tangible[/I] to the PCs, something that they can interact with. Ingredients used as part of the setup or background are not, in my opinion, ingredients that are well-used. Just a few more notes about the effects of the mustard seed should the PCs interact with it, a bit more about how the club foot affects 12:2 (he’s got 5 more good ones, after all…) and the trailblazer… Well, the trailblazer is hardly used at all. I keep asking myself if it scuttles the entire entry. I can accept that Abu is a trailblazer, but where is the evidence of it for the PCs to see? It would have been less of a throwaway if Abu’s ales were called, “Trailblazer Brews.” It still wouldn’t have been a [I]good[/I] use, but at least it would have been an ingredient that was more clearly there for the PCs “to taste,” so to speak. Don’t [I]tell[/I] me he’s a trailblazer; [I]show[/I] me. And one last parting shot: If the ingredient is Formian Overlords, don’t keep calling them Formian Myrmarchs (as much as I love saying the word Myrmarch). Capellan’s entry has some good stuff, too, but right off the bat my immediate suspicion is that perhaps that Capellan was struggling with the Comic Timing element, and so sought to sprinkle the whole affair with a taste of whimsy. The timing of Wykros’ revenge does have a certain irony, as Capellan points out, but I don’t find it particularly comic. Capellan says there is comedy in the other scenes, but I think he knows me too well if he believes that the random slaughter of innocents qualifies as comedy. Okay, I admit it, the random slaughter of a troupe of clowns makes me grin. Now, mimes—slaughtering mimes—[I]that’s[/I] pure comedy gold. But it’s not comic timing. The fight in Act Three, where once again innocent bystanders are sucked into a raging battle—complete with mustard jellies, food fights, spilled tables, falling flags—again, not exactly comic timing. Which is not to say that carpedavid (if he’s read this far rather than just skipping to the spoiler at the end), should really be feeling any better about his use of this most difficult, abstract ingredient. CD used it literally, and poorly—one of his actors simply has comic timing (though I suppose the DM can fill in the gaps, here). Capellan used it as a thematic element. But, if you’re going to use it as a thematic element, I think that there should be at least one instance of “A ha!” where timing of the comedy reveals itself, and that timing is relevant. I’m just now struck with the realization that Capellan rearranged the ingredients from the order in which they were assigned. Does that tell us something about the importance he placed on them? Criticsm for the most part complete, let’s turn to the overall use of ingredients. I think both entrants placed about equal footing on the Club Foot, though in both cases it barely limps along as an ingredient. Both did equally well with the Brewery, setting it up as an interesting locale for the finale to come to a head. Both did poorly with the Trailblazer, which seemed to lag far behind in terms of importance. Capellan tried for the edge here, attempting to do double duty as the formian scent glands, though its use in that manner raised more questions (“Huh?”) than it answered. Both used the Formians as the central threat, though I believe the edge here goes to CD, simply because he placed more of an emphasis on the “Overlords” (despite calling them Myrmarchs and though they really could have been fleshed out a bit more). I’ve already mentioned the Comic Timing, which leaves only the Mustard Seed for comparison. I think clearly, the edge here goes to Capellan, whose tiny, frozen mustard jellies were a very cool twist. My gut reaction, overall, is that carpedavid had the more cohesive and coherent blend of ingredients. On the other hand, Capellan made more of an earnest effort to use more of the ingredients in a significant way. Carpedavid’s dish seems the more palatable because it did not use any of the ingredients in a heavy handed way, while Capellan, with the enthusiasm and gusto of a novice chef, may well have spoiled the batch through clumsy use of a couple of ingredients. Chief in this respect is his attempt at comic timing—but does a clumsy use warrant a loss against an underplayed use? So I find myself in much the same position as the last matchup. Consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, so they say. This round goes to [spoiler]CarpeDavid. Although I think CD seriously underplayed a couple of the ingredients, I feel that he did a better job of building believable, coherent connections among all six ingredients.[/spoiler] I wish that both entrants had used all ingredients more strongly (and deftly), but such is the nature of this competition, and the whims of this particular judge.[/b] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Community
General Tabletop Discussion
*TTRPGs General
[IRON DM] Spring 2004 Contest Thread FINAL JUDGMENT POSTED, CHAMPION ANNOUNCED!
Top