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Message: <blockquote data-quote="el-remmen" data-source="post: 1506830" data-attributes="member: 11">A Little Expostion on Island of the ApesThe first thing that came to mind from the judgment was that Wulf did not mention what I thought was my strongest connection of ingredients; that is, using the ape version of Rakshasa with the Dakons to explain why the bridges to the jungle island had to be covered bridges (i.e because of their fear of open water).I knew going in that my Ivory Tower and the Excessive Mucus were weak ingredients.  I did have to shoehorn in the Temple of Jubilex - Originally, it was going to be a temple to gorilla demon-god - but that damn excessive mucus just did not want to fit in anywhere.I was going to go into more detail about the Ivory Tower - but by the time I got to that point in the adventure I had a feeling it was getting too long and simply being a place where the rakshasa was holed up was going to have to be good enough.  Honestly, I figured Mythago would have a hard time with mucus too and that it would be how well he handled the tower that would make the difference between winning and losing for me.For me irony in the use of ingredients and in terms of player expectation as opposed to the reality the characters have to deal with make an adventure more engaging - that is why I had the Local Hero be the object of ridicule and why I had the rakshasa be reluctantly good and then reluctantly evil.As for the senseless bickering, I guess I saw it as senseless because it served no purposes to the people doing the bickering, it made no difference in the outcome of what they were arguing about.I take exception about all verbiage being "words thrown over an overall weak use of ingredients" - 4500 words isn't that long and I needed to establish the feel of the setting and what was happening there - I don't think ingredients can be effectively strung together without a sense of an immersive context to put them in.Anyway, when I first posted it I was really happy with it, but going back and reading it 24 hours later I saw a lot of the weaknesses and I agonized over them.  I can't say I will approach the later rounds any differently (except of course to try to be tighter with the ingredients), but it certainly was a fair judging from, Wulf.Mythago, thanks for a close match and I'll see you in the funny papers.Wulf, I would not mind doing my 2nd round tonight - in fact if I can get ingredients around 7:30ish - it'd be perfect - if not I may have to wait until the weekend or early next week.</blockquote>

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