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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Wulf Ratbane" data-source="post: 1513104" data-attributes="member: 94">Well. Enkhidu seems to feel he’s stumbled this time. Let’s see if I agree.First off, I appreciate big E’s enthusiastic embrace of the ingredient theme. Puns and inside references abound, though I have to admit I didn’t get the title of his work until I had set it aside a while. For sheer fun and flavor, E’s entry did not disappoint.But there are some overall very weak ingredient uses, here. I was disappointed to see the Sticky Thread relegated to the obvious use of a web, a use which is all the more disappointing because this event, central to the adventure if you are going to have relevant ingredient use, simply isn’t discussed in any detail. This use would have been stronger had E. given a bit more detail on this particular event.In a similar fashion, the Game Day-as-Olympics also failed to surprise me. Still, it’s probably one of the more central ingredients to the adventure. Contrast with Zappo’s Game Day, a yearly “hunt” for “game”: it’s a more clever wordplay of the ingredient, but it’s hardly central to the adventure. It’s simply a plot device to pull the knights away from Danatr.Both entrants used the Ongoing Campaign in roughly the same way, merely as a descriptor of background motivations. Coupled with big E.’s very interesting Hivemind, the ongoing campaign of Q’Rill’q is more interesting than Zappo’s Ongoing Campaign against the orcs. I disagree with Zappo that the ongoing campaign against the orcs is the adventure’s central premise—it’s not. Why? Because it’s not, up to this point, ongoing in any way measurable to the PCs. Granted, neither is E’s use of this ingredient. What Zappo has in his favor is the possibility of an Ongoing Campaign against his own Hivemind disease, and he makes note of this at the tail end of his entry.Both entrants did a workmanlike job with the Clever Troll. I’m a bit disappointed that neither entrant used the unique properties of the troll that would make this ingredient indispensable as opposed to, say, a Clever Ogre. Regeneration, boys! Where’s the regeneration? It would have taken big E only a moment to figure out some way to tie Morrisey’s regeneration ability into his own unique experience with the Hivemind. Why’s he different? Well, every time Q’Rill’q rearranged his brain, it rearranged itself right back. Over and over. Who knows? All I know is, neither entrant even mentioned regeneration, which I think is a pretty big mistake.Clearly, big E has the better use of an ingredient, here, as Morrisey comes complete as an NPC with his own desires and motives. He’s not here as simply a speed bump in the path of the PCs goals.But let’s talk about that for a moment. What ARE the PCs goals in Enkhidu’s entry? Here we have the big flaw in E’s entry. Once again, it’s all background. It seems to me the entire adventure is crafted for one of his NPCs, Morrisey himself. Morrisey is the one with all the action, all the motivation. What are the PCs supposed to DO in this adventure? Get lucky as they wander through the Web and stumble across the Hivemind in their forum, just as Morrisey comes crashing in? The background and the events are constructed in such a way that, not only is it irrelevant whether the PCs get involved, it seems difficult for them to do so.I am not a railroading DM. And I will argue for verisimilitude till the end of my days. But for all that it’s important to present a real, thriving world that moves along without the PCs, this is first and foremost a game. But the worst thing is a DM for whom the game is an ego trip, who views his own players as nothing more than an audience to the depth and cleverness of his game.I’m not accusing Enkhidu of this. But, it is absolutely vital that the DM make an effort to involve the players. No matter how many times I read big E’s adventure, I couldn’t get the PCs to really fit in. They might discover the forum, they might interfere. In terms of action and spectacle—“What do the PCs DO?”—this entry was a big disappointment. I read big E’s entry and immediately felt that the match was Zappo’s to lose.But there is so much that feels RIGHT about Zappo’s entry. I love his Hivemind disease. (It’s language-dependent and mind-affecting, as Zappo should have mentioned for those of you who’d like a little more crunch with your fluff.) There is something so very “The Thing” about this entry. And that’s a very good Thing.Zappo’s Sticky Thread could have been made quite a bit better if he’d taken the time to really outline the course of the disease. The “Body Snatchers” aspect of the original indoctrination into the Hivemind is great; it’s a simple matter to take it a step further, forging in the gooey mutations and the sticky thread. As the disease progresses, and the mutations increase, the hivemind begins to build a gooey nest (a la Aliens—why not borrow from all the greats) and thus, the sticky threads.I also have to mention the Protected Forum here. This ingredient use is head and shoulders above Enkhidu’s, because it is such a fantastic spectacle. The town, unsure what is going wrong, gather up into the town hall for a last defense. A Protected Forum. What makes this ingredient shine is the fact that, due to the way the disease spreads, the Forum places them in even more danger! They are going to get together and talk—and thus they’re doomed. I don’t know how the PCs will keep the townsfolk from talking—the most innocent frightened whisper can spread the disease—I just find it a nearly perfect, indispensable use of an ingredient. Just such an awesome spectacle as a silence falls over the town and every noise becomes sinister.Ultimately, I agree with Enkhidu, and I’m sorry if his child’s sickness made this a hard round for him to complete. This was not his best entry, and there’s so much promise in Zappo’s entry that this is one of the easier decisions I have made in this tourney. Yes, there are some weak ingredients, on both sides, but nothing so weak in Zappo’s entry that I could, in good conscience, award this round otherwise. No spoiler tag really necessary here, but for the sake of those who like to skip to the end and just highlight the spoiler, here we go: I award this round to [spoiler]Zappo, [/spoiler]who will move on to face Nemmerle for the championship.Gentlemen, please post your availability in the other thread.Wulf</blockquote>

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