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Message: <blockquote data-quote="el-remmen" data-source="post: 1365965" data-attributes="member: 11">Judgment: Round One - Fourth Match-Up: Enkhidu vs. NoskovThere are times when I really dread writing up these judgments.  I read (or almost finish reading) both entries and I just want to declare one the winner and not bother with all this damn expostion because it just seems so damn ponderous to pick the things apart.  But I have my duty as IRON DM judge so I must endeavor to get past this inertia and get my hands dirty.  Okay, first of all I am going to say this very plainly so that everyone understands and while i have made the same mistake in the past as a contestant - as a judge it so damn painful to witness that I plan to be extra careful about it from now on - but SEVEN PARAGRAPHS OF BACKGROUND IS TOO MUCH FOR AN IRON DM ENTRY.  But the truth is that Noskov's 3500 words of IRON DM entry was exhausting for me to get through, and more than once my eyes glazed over and I just wanted to stop because it seemed so fractured and poorly put together.There were seven paragraphs of background, but never once was the dryad mentioned in it, and yet she is what the PCs are supposedly going to quest for and save.  When you've had that much expostion and there are still things that have yet to be explained in the "meat" of the adventure you have clearly done something wrong.But there are a ton of questions and short-comings with Noskov's entry:- There is no attempt to explain why the particular PCs is affected by the curse.- The paladin finding out about the cursed PC is dependent upon word of it going around town, which is not guaranteed - though I guess PCs are likely to go seek out the paladin for advice and aid if they know or learn about him.- Why did the hobgoblins become ghosts?  As far as I can discern from the Tolstoy-esque introduction, their destruction had nothing to do with the dryad and the paladin's fall from grace.  And do I even need to add the fact that the ingredient was "Hobgoblin War Party", not "Hobgoblins Ghosts" and they are not much of a war party when the PCs get to interact with them?- The hobgoblin ghosts are nothing more than a means of rail-roading the PCs, and seem like quite a near impossible challenge to overcome for any group - even a 5th level group, which this adventure is supposed to be balanced for at the upper end.- A hangman tree is a monster, not just a tree someone was hanged from.  Though the ingredient need not have been the monster, it could have simply have been a tree someone liked to hang people from - but that was not quite the case either.- Why does the dryad want to drown the cursed PC?  What does that have to do with anything?  Why does destroying her or having the PC be drowned have the same effect of lifting the curse?  Should it not be the paladin? But, I have not mentioned Enkhidu's entry at all yet, how does it stack up against Noskov's?Well, simply put, it's better.  Enkhidu has a great knack for creating a location PCs can interact with and using the adventure as a tool of simulationist style of play - that is, where interaction with and discovery of the setting is a fun activity in an of itself.  Though, I have to say before I go any further I could not help but snicker like Beavis when I read "Riming" stone.  I guess that is supposed to be pronounced like "rhyming", but you know where my mind went, you dirty bugger!Enkhidu does a good job of intertwning both a broader mystical aspect to the adventure and a local and humanistic concern of the farmers/shepherds and the hobgoblin attacks.  It is that kind of concise and cohesive thinking and presentation that makes an IRON DM entry a joy to read, even if some of the individual elements are not as strong as they could be.But Enkhidu's ingredient use ranges from adequate to strong - which is always good.  the venerable and wise paladin as part of an order that seeks to destroy and/or hide away evil or corruptive magical items is a great idea, and the ambitious hobgoblin leader with his war party who takes his opportunity to strike a blow against the Knights of the Vault (have I mentioned that i am a fan of adventures that introuduces unique orders and cabals and organizations?) and get ths magical stone that will bring the blinding snow (which I am glad was actual snow as opposed to ash - Yep, that was an example of Noskov being too clever for his own good) al lworked well.Enkhidu also does a good job of breaking up the war party into various camps that accomplish various tasks, which sets up the opponents as strategically savvy, and allows the PCs an opportunity to come up with their own counter-tactics.  The dormant hangman tree was also a nice touch that would sow chaos in one of what are bound to be great combats.And of course, the description of the Foggy Moors, was a good use of environment to affect fights and the search for the hobgoblins.  Too many DMs ignore or forget about environment which is a shame - it makes the difference between a boring trade off of blows until the person with the least hit points and worse armor class falls and an actual intriguing and engaging fight.And while the Burned Corpses were naught more than window dressing, they were good window dressing that sets the tone for the savagery and cruelty of the hobgoblin foes.And thus, it is pretty clear that [spoiler]ENKHIDU wins handily.  I felt he squeaked by in the Holiday IRON DM Newbie Tournament, but if he continues with such strength I can see him making the finals easily.  As for Noskov, he needs to examine his entries with a more critical eye if he hopes to get past the first round next time he plays and to be less wordy.[/spoiler]The winner goes on to face C-style in the next round.</blockquote>

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