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Message: <blockquote data-quote="el-remmen" data-source="post: 1391542" data-attributes="member: 11">Final Round– Second Match-Up: Zenld vs. CarpeDavidWell, this wasn’t even close.  And while that makes judging easier for me, it sure doesn’t provide the spectacle we have come to expect from the final round of an IRON DM match, which is really a shame.It only takes a cursory look to see that one entry is infinitely superior to the other, so much so that I can’t even do the usual ‘who will win?’ back and forth trickery with the judgment and hope to fool anyone.  So, let’s get right to it and see if we can see where things went wrong with one entry and went very right with the other.Zenld’s Entry was a sad and sorry sight.  I don’t mean to make fun of him (oh wait, yes I do, this is IRON DM and I have to be nemmerlesque).  Let’s be frank here, and friggin’ Tom, Dick and Harry while we’re at it, because 4 out of 4 guys with vanilla-sounding run-of-the-mill, nothing-to-live-for names agree, Zenld seems to not have taken to heart any of the lessons of the previous rounds.First of all, the background and set-up are way way way too long.  I mean, come on.  Out of around 1700 words, over 1000 are the background!  And despite being so long, it still seems confused and unclear and Zen makes some assumptions about what the reader/DM knows when he goes about telling us about the background.  Like what is Sibil goddess of?  And I guess she was a benevolent goddess (or learned the error of being a withdrawn and neutral one) because she was so upset by the destruction the dragons caused.  But even this error in judgment (which isn’t even really an error,  I saw no ‘mistake’ just unwillingness to get involved or pay attention to what was going on around her while she slept or hid or what-have-you), happens in the background of the adventure and is not something that either affects the PCs or that they have to correct.  So not only is the ingredient in the background alone (a big IRON DM no-no), but it isn’t even used very well.The same is true of the lizard-riders, and while I guess you can call dragon’s lizards, it seems a stretch to me, and not one that is really necessary.  Not to mention that I doubt even a celestial wrestler could beat a dragon with his bare hands and he also does not really appear in the adventure, though the soldier the PCs ostensibly will help will become a celestial wrestler as well.Or will he become a wrestler?  Maybe it is wielder of a halberd (not exactly a useful weapon while grappling).  Needless to say (but I have to say it anyway), the holy halberd didn’t really matter much – it was just another thing a dragon hoard, picked out by Zenld because, well, honestly, because it was an ingredient and he had to… not a good enough reason, bud.Side Note: The use of celestial wrestler as the special tie-breaker ingredients can count against an entry in terms of its individual match, but does not count for it except in the case of tie.  Let’s just say in this case, I cannot imagine that this handling of it being of much help to Zenld if it comes to a tie, unfortunately for him.And the amphitheatre?  Not much of one, and basically simply the scene for a big fight, which when you come down to it, is all this adventure is.  And the ice volcano suffers from the same problem as the amphitheatre – it just is – and when it exploded, it was during the background.Zenld’s entry would be hard-pressed to win a first round match; it certainly is not up to a final round match.That’s not to say there is absolutely nothing good about it.  I found the Bride(s) of the Cyclops to be sexy, and the cool nugget of an idea – but it wasn’t taken far enough.  CarpeDavid’s Entry if nothing else, proves that he deserves to be in the finals.   He really stepped up to the plate and knocked it out of the park.But before I rave too much, let’s talk about what I didn’t like.  When I first sat down to read his entry I was put off by the names of the NPCs in the scenario. I could see why he went with the ancient Greek feel, but by using recognizable names from mythology, like Achilles and Agamemnon he kind of skewed the whole thing because I, as the potential DM to run this thing, have preconceived notions about those characters from the stories they were involved with – but still that is a minor quibble.  I got used to it and it works, and maybe even helps because of the familiarity.CarpeDavid’s hooks are also kind of weak, basically the party gets hired either by the city or the Bride of the Cyclops – but still they work better than Zenld’s, and I guess that is all that matters in this case.  Speaking of the  Bride of the Cyclops, it was his weakest ingredient, if only because there is nothing special about her except for being the accused wife.  While she makes for a sympathetic character, there was nothing about here that really catches the eye, or makes her unique.But on to what I liked:  The Error in Judgment is great, because the error is not accusing the innocent Cyclops of the theft and murder (even though that is what CD listed his review of the ingredients), because I got the impression that the city elders wanted a scapegoat and an excuse to kill the one-eyed giant.  Instead the error is that this misdirection would keep them from discovering the true culprits and the hidden danger that they pose to the city.  I am assuming that is what CarpeDavid meant in his review, but it doesn’t matter whether he meant it – it is there and that is what matters.I love the position CarpeDavid puts the PCs in.  I also love the peaceful Cyclops, coming along peacefully while proclaiming his innocence and the party getting sucked into helping him after being sent to get him.  The use of the Amphitheatre as the scene of the large trial, and the description of the legal system for the city and the application of social skills on the part of the PCs to gather up people to vote on the cyclops’ behalf was ingenious, and a great example of how a good adventure has a combination of different kinds of problems to be solved.Another great facet of the entry was basically making the conflict between law and chaos (not something we see often in D&D adventures), making the decision of what to do about it a little harder.  The barbarian lizard-riders were interesting foes, and Carpe uses a nice combination of flavor for these foes and environmental conditions to create interesting combat.  It is just great stuff.  I’m impressed.The holy halberd is a example of a well-used Macguffin.  It sets up the conflict with the Cyclops and acts as the focus for what the ice-runner barbarians are doing – it also serves as the way to get the tie-breaker ingredient involved – the hound archon celestial wrestler and while his being a wrestler isn’t all that central to the adventure (which means that in a tie-breaking situation even as good a use as this it can be beat), he still is interesting and presents an different interest than the city and the barbarians.  It is almost as if the Powers That Be decided that the holy weapon is too good for either side to use, because obviously the city elders are abusing the law to fulfill their own prejudiced anti-cyclops agenda.The ice volcano was a credible threat to the city, and while I am not sure why the lizard-riders worshiped a dragon god and what a dragon-god has to do with an ice volcano (would it not have worked better with some frost god, or frost giant god (like the Norse Thrym?), the use of the holy halberd as a the symbol of what made them lose their ancestral land to the settlers of the city as the center of their ritual works out just fine.In the end it pretty clear that [spoiler]CARPEDAVID[/spoiler] wins easily..  He had a nice tight and interesting entry that seems like it would be fun to play and has a definite sense of flavor to it.  He used the ingredients very well, and is something on the level with Enkhidu’s second round entry.  Zenld, I’m sorry, but you are going to have to kick it up a notch (or six) in your final match against Enkhidu.  By saving himself from elimination, CarpeDavid could force this to a tie-breaking situation, but only if Zenld beats Enkhidu , if not the Holiday IRON DM (newbie) gets to take home all the marbles and the title of IRON DM.</blockquote>

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