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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Drawmack" data-source="post: 595725" data-attributes="member: 4981">Guedo79 vs. XarlenXarlen Round 1 PostAbilities are a bit min/maxed with the cha of 22, which isn’t really necessary since you only need a 19 to cast 9th level spells, you also took hits on a lot of stats to do this. Low stats can make a character interesting so I’ll see if you back this up with the description.Description is good it really let’s me see the character, though writing style could use a little work as the wording is confusing at times. I’ll chalk that up to time constraints thought. However it does end with and so on, which makes me curious about why you didn’t complete the description. He is a sorcerer I would have liked to have seen the story of when his power manifested itself. Did he levitate candy to himself as a child? Did he cast fireball to save his mother? How exactly did his powers first manifest themselves.Good use of the rickshaw. The Bull’s Strength is a second level spell and so he couldn’t cast it until fourth level. Since it is mentioned in the very beginning of his background this means that you started writing his background at fourth level. Why? What happened during all that other time? Did he get more powerful through what he encountered on the way to the city? This leaves an awful lot open.Good use of the thieves guild, though as a member would he really have the time to start a second business?Who runs his business while he’s out adventuring?Okay here is how you rank up point wise, each category is on a 5 point scale.Originality: The guy is a pretty unique character. I really liked the vision of him flying around the battlefield in his rickshaw being pulled by an air elemental. You did rely a lot on the strange stats to give him uniqueness but that’s what makes him playable. Though most of the things are just run of the mill, nothing extraordinary that really sets this guy out from the crowd of 16th level sorcerers. As boss of the company of sorcerers what makes him keep the position, especially when he’s out adventuring all the time? Also I would have liked a bit more detail on his company. 2 points awarded.Playability: He has two places he can be almost forced to work. The thieves’ guild is probably pretty demanding when they need something and running his own business could demand attention at a very in opportune time. He gains power and influence in the town by casting for the people, so if he’s not there when someone needs him they might get resentful; but you covered for that with his business. Though he is a high level character and high level characters in a city are usually well connected. 3 points awarded.Incorporation of the ingredients: The rickshaw is a great use of ingredients and really what I had in mind. The thieves’ guild is also a great use of ingredients, what thieves’ guild wouldn’t notice someone who willing buffs people up? You also used this to set them up as a major influence to the character, good job. On the other hand the use of the bull’s strength spell on people. I would really have liked to hear the story about the first time he did this, how did people find out about it in the first place? 4 points awarded.Final Score: 9 of a possible 15.Guedo79 Round I critiqueThe character was supposed to be a level 16 sorcer not a sor10/rog6. I liked the way you worked rickshaws into the thieves’ guild, interesting and believable concept.  I’m going to jump right into the judging of this one:Originality: The character is a pretty unique guy. Started his career as a beggar and has become a powerful rogue sorcerer. He was a beggar, then forced to join a thieves’ guild and from there he discovered a natural talent with magic. I have always thought of the sorcerer as just doing magic, like when Harry Potter frees the snake, and realizing their talents from that. I like the idea of the magical abilities not manifesting until they are tapped. Also a PC who has been a prince, a beggar, a beggar prince, a lowly thief in a guild, a student of the guild mage, and finally a powerful mage himself would be very interesting to play. I will grant 4 points for originality.Playability: His current status with the guild is not explained? Is he still a rickshaw driver, if not what is he doing now? It does state that their guild’s head mage took Farwin under his wing, is he still under the master’s wing, has he become the master? Are his studies secondary to running a rickshaw, is running the rickshaw secondary to his studies or has he stopped running the rickshaw all together? As a DM what am I supposed to do with this character in the story, I can have no way of knowing because his current status is not explained or even really alluded to. By 16th level he should have some power in the guild and that’s not explained at all. Far as the background goes we’ve got a 16th level rickshaw driver who is a student of the guild mage. By this time he’d probably be teaching other guild mages and possibly running the rickshaw business. Though there are plenty of plot hooks and such he needs a more developed starting place. 2 points awarded.Use of the ingredients: He was supposed to be a 16th level sorcerer, not a rog6/sor10. This was a very poor use of the ingredients; while I like the background story explaining it and awarded points in another category for that I must deduct points here because of that. The rickshaw’s as part of the guild was a complete stroke of genius. Very well explained and seamlessly integrated. The thieves’ guild though is another matter. Why did they want this beggar to join their party so badly? Was he stepping on their territory? Did he have friends in the guild who knew his potential? From the background you have this guy just sitting there begging and the thieves guild going hey we could use another beggar. Not very seamless or believable. 2 points awarded.Final Score: 8 of a possible 15 points.Final Judgement: Xarlen continues on to round 2, better luck next time Guedo.Guedo: I am truly sorry for this decision. If I was asked which character I wanted IMC for a PC or an NPC the choice would be yours, though I would need more info on his current position in the guild and such. However Xarlen met the criteria of the game better.Better luck next time Guedo.Xarlen, from what I've seen from Wicht the next round is going to be harder on you.</blockquote>

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