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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Snarf Zagyg" data-source="post: 8302209" data-attributes="member: 7023840">You know what, Clearstream, I LIKE YOU. You're not like the other people, here, on the Ennie World.Oh, don't go get me wrong. They're fine people, they'reGood D&D players. But they're content to sit back, maybeWatch a little Critical Role on the YouTube, maybe kickBack a cool, Coors 16-ouncer. They're good, fine people,Clearstream. But they don't know ... what the bards are doingTo the soil!You know that [USER=205]@TwoSix[/USER] kid, the kid that with the gnome avatarIn the forum. He's a strange one. Some of the commentersSay he smokes crack, but I don't believe it.Anyway, for his eighteenth anniversary on Ennie World, all he wanted was an Owlbear.Kept bugging his friends. "Guys, get me an owlbear. I'll neverAsk for anything else as long as I live." So his friendsBreak down and get Twosix an owlbear. Anyway, 10:30, the other night, I go on ennie world, and there'sThe Twosix kid, asking about trees. I say, "Why are you asking about trees?What are you looking for?" He says "I'm looking for my owlbear."I say, "Jumping Jesus on a Pogo Stick. Everybody knowsThe. Owlbear. Lives. In a dungeon. In the ground. Why the hell do youThink they call it an owlbear, anyway?" Now Clearstream, do youThink a kid like Twosix is going to know what the bards areDoing to the soil?I first became aware of this about ten years ago, the summerMy good friend, Chad, died. You know that carnival comes intoTown every year? Well this year they came through with a rideCalled The Mixer. The man said, "Keep your head, and arms, insideThe Mixer at all times." But Chad, he was a DAAAREDEVIL, justLike his favorite blind superhero. He was leaning out saying "Hey everybody,Look at me! Look at me!" Pow! He was decapitated! They foundChad's head over by the snow cone concession.A few days after that, I open up the mail. And there's a pamphletIn there. From Pueblo, Colorado, and it's addressed to Chad.And it's entitled, "Do you know what the bards are doing to ourSoil?"Now, Clearstream, if you look at the soil around any large D&D city,There's a big underground bard population. Waterdeep,For an example. Look at the soil around Waterdeep, Clearstream.You can't build on it; you can't grow anything in it. The Lords of WaterdeepSays it's due to poor farming. But I know what's really going on,Clearstream. I know it's the bards. They're in it with the elves.They're building special forests for Elvish Bards, I swear toGod.You know what, Clearstream, I like you. You're not like the otherPeople, here on ennie world.</blockquote>

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