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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Rel" data-source="post: 871838" data-attributes="member: 99">Well folks, go ahead and color me a genius.  I've solved this little debate with a simple, elegant solution that should make parties on all sides happy.  In just a few moments I will be firing this idea off to WotC in the hopes that it can be included in the 3.5E books.  If not, hopefully it will make it into 3.75E.  The following is the text that will be included. (Remember that you saw it here first.):*To be included in the 3.5 version of the PHB in Section 6, which details Alignment.*"In addition to the above alignments (LG, NG, CG, LN, N, CN, LE, NE, CE) two new alignment designations have been added.  These are called EVIL and eVil.  They are detailed as follows:eVil - Any character of any alignment other than one of the standard Evil alignments (i.e. LG, NG, CG, LN, N, CN) who performs a Coup de Grace (see Section 8 - Combat) automatically becomes eVil.  eVil isn't exactly Evil and it certainly isn't EVIL, but it damn sure isn't Good and surely it is more evil than Neutral.  We now call it eVil. (Pronounced "eee-Ville")  All normal penalties for alignment change apply AND now nobody at the gaming table is obligated to share their snacks with you.  Serves you right too.EVIL - If any character of one of the Evil alignments (LE, NE, CE and eVil) perfoms a Coup de Grace (see Section 8 - Combat) they automatically become EVIL.  EVIL is like Evil, except that you really mean business when you're EVIL.  No foolin' around.  Because the only thing more EVIL than Evil is Evil that performs a Coup de Grace.  That's just wrong.  Also note that if a DM allows an Evil NPC to become EVIL by performing a Coup de Grace on a PC, he suffers the following consequences:1)  He automatically becomes an honorary member of the Rat-Bastard DM club.2)  One player, elected by vote among the players (with any ties resolved by the high roll on a d20) shall stab the DM in the hand (not his dice hand, the other one) with a pencil (a #2 pencil).*To be included in the 3.5E PHB, Section 8 - Combat.*"Coup de Grace - Coup de Grace has been removed from the game because of the potential to cause a character to become EVIL or eVil.  Furthermore, WotC wishes to avoid any potential lawsuits resulting from EVIL DM's being stabbed in the hand with #2 pencils.  They'll just have to get into the Rat Bastard DM's Club the old fashioned way.  See also Section 3 of the DMG."*To be included in the 3.5E DMG, Section 3 - Running The Game.*"Note that Coup de Grace has been removed from the game (See Section 8 - Combat in the 3.5E PHB).  If you are truly an EVIL person and wish to include Coup de Grace in your games, then you are scum and we don't mind telling you so.  But we also strongly advise that you use the following optional rule, jerk:Coup de Grace Optional Rule - In order to mitigate the effects of Coup de Grace on your game world, you should include in every town larger than a Hamlet, a local branch of eVil-R-Us "We Coup de Grace so you don't have to."Players should be strongly encouraged to bring all unconscious villians, no matter how villianous their crimes to the local branch of eVil-R-Us.  There they can drop off the villians and go on their merry way.  Once out of earshot, the helpful and courteous staff of eVil-R-Us will Coup de Grace the villian in such a manner as to leave the PC's souls unsullied by any wrong doing.It should be noted that due to the vagaries of the changes in the alignment system (See Section 6 - Alignment in the 3.5E PHB) that the staff of eVil-R-Us have the potential of quickly going from eVil to EVIL if they are not very careful.  Thankfully they are very careful ("Here at eVil-R-Us, 'Very Careful' is our middle name!").  Each night the agents of eVil-R-Us roam the lands and pluck only the finest, hand-picked virgin girls from their undefiled beds and bring them to the local branch.  There each virgin is allowed to perform one, and only one Coup de Grace on one of the villians delivered by a client group of adventurers.  This of course results in their alignment changing from Good (presumably the extremely innocent and doe-eyed Neutral Good) to eVil.  But over the long run, it saves many a Player Character from the ravages of EVIL.After their designated Coup de Grace has been performed, these virgins are released harmlessly into the wild where most quickly find work as prostitutes, tax accountants or barristers, none of whose crimes should be considered Evil or EVIL.  Any suggestion that they deserve to be Coup de Graced themselves is right out.Also noteworthy is that the services of eVil-R-Us come to the adventurers ABSOLUTELY FREE OF CHARGE.  Many people ask the folks at eVil-R-Us, "If you don't charge to perform these Coup de Graces, how do you make enough money to stay in business?"The answer:  "Volume" I will of course include in my message to WotC, a copy of my address so they know where to send my (substantial) compensation for a contribution to the 3.5E rules that will finally put this costly and time-consuming "Coup de Grace Debate" to an end.  If your relief at having this problem dealt with in such an elegant manner compells you to render me further compensation, please contact me via e-mail and I will give you my address as well.In closing, I'll say that it gives me extreme pleasure to render such a useful service to the D&D players of the world and in particular all my good friends here at EN World.  Good day.</blockquote>

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