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IS Gary Gygax's World Builder Hardcover any good?
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<blockquote data-quote="MerricB" data-source="post: 656949" data-attributes="member: 3586"><p>Review of the Review:</p><p></p><p>In general, I think the review serves its purpose well. Most of the problems I have with it are stylistic rather than content-orientated.</p><p></p><p>I think you need to make the paragraphs shorter. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> Here's an example of how I would split up the Book One paragraph.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>There are a few grammatical and stylistic points that you'd fix if you re-read it before posting. Yes, I have trouble re-drafting myself.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>That really doesn't read well. I'd probably say "The book is best suited for people who do not already know..." or something of the sort. Or "The book is perfect for those who don't already know much about..." </p><p></p><p>The way you have it phrased makes me want to say "Of course it's not the perfect book... no book is!" <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>A better description of what the book is actually <em>for</em> is the main feature the review is lacking. It should be the first paragraph: "Gary Gygax's World Builder is intended to aid a DM in making their world seem more believable and real. It does so by..."</p><p></p><p>Re-read your review, revise it, then post it to the ENworld reviews section (accessible through the front page). It'd be much appreciated by all of us who like knowing other people's opinions before paying out our hard-earned cash for one role-playing product or another!</p><p></p><p>Cheers!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MerricB, post: 656949, member: 3586"] Review of the Review: In general, I think the review serves its purpose well. Most of the problems I have with it are stylistic rather than content-orientated. I think you need to make the paragraphs shorter. :) Here's an example of how I would split up the Book One paragraph. There are a few grammatical and stylistic points that you'd fix if you re-read it before posting. Yes, I have trouble re-drafting myself. That really doesn't read well. I'd probably say "The book is best suited for people who do not already know..." or something of the sort. Or "The book is perfect for those who don't already know much about..." The way you have it phrased makes me want to say "Of course it's not the perfect book... no book is!" :) A better description of what the book is actually [i]for[/i] is the main feature the review is lacking. It should be the first paragraph: "Gary Gygax's World Builder is intended to aid a DM in making their world seem more believable and real. It does so by..." Re-read your review, revise it, then post it to the ENworld reviews section (accessible through the front page). It'd be much appreciated by all of us who like knowing other people's opinions before paying out our hard-earned cash for one role-playing product or another! Cheers! [/QUOTE]
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