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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Celebrim" data-source="post: 511498" data-attributes="member: 4937">D&D has always been a pastime associated (not without some reason) with geekiness.  There was a whole wave of young female casual gamers that White Wolf games brought in large part I think because the game was enherently 'sexy' and didn't make them feel like they were doing something geek.   Perhaps that opinion is itself a bit sexist on my part, but that is how it seems (and in my defence, men aren't the only people that accept the norms of a sexist culture).  As good as that has been for gaming, most of those aren't what I think of as 'gamers', because that's the only game they play.  Alot of them leave the scene as quickly as they join it.Still I've known quite a few very good female gamers.  Some of them were brought in by WW.  Alot of them were brought in by boyfriends.  Not all of them stayed with the game, but those that did were usually very good.  As a DM who appreciates characterization, it's been my experience that female players are on the whole alot more interested in the social side of gaming, and alot less interested in merely power gaming to stroke thier egos.I've known very few gamers that are as big of jerks as those you describe.  If they won't grow up (and if they are really 20+ it is likely that they won't), find a new group.   Heck, find a new social scene.  Does this sort of behavior only occur around the table, or are these guys pretty immature in general?  If you are at college, it should be pretty easy to talk around and find out who is involved in what games.  Gamers are after all a pretty small social scene.  It is almost impossible for me to imagine any gaming group out there that won't make room at the table for an experienced female gamer, so just introduce yourself to as many as you can find and take your pick.  On the other hand, I know from experience that just openly advertising that you are a DM looking for a group of player basically only attracts the losers that have been kicked out of everyone else's groups.   As a fellow DM, I sympathize with the difficulty in getting a campaign started.   It is alot harder to find a group of good players that aren't already attached to a DM, than it is to find a DM willing to have another player at the table.If you can't or don't want to leave this group, lay down the law lady.  <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />You are the DM, this is your game, keep them focused on the game.  You are in charge.  This is your show.   Get good at staring.  Even if you were a male, alot of gamers will run over you if you let them (I speak from experience there).   Actually, count forcefulness training as one of the things you can learn from playing D&D, if you are self-confessed not forceful enough consider this career training (for whatever career you plan on entering).  If they won't stay IC, find a way to make them stay IC (I really like PirateCat's idea).   Tell them any OOC comment that they make may be treated as an IC comment.  Don't let their minds wander.   If they start being excessively OOC in a combat situation, charge them thier free IC actions (you spent all your extra time talking, you don't have time for more comments).  If they are delaying, starting counting down from 6 to 1 and if they don't do something IC by 1, then they don't do anything IC that round.  If they are talking too much, move right a long and start having things happening.  Make them realize that they have to pay attention to you if they won't to know what is going on.  If they won't pay attention, then assume that their character is ICly not paying attention either (no search, spot, or listen checks - remember all comments are IC at your descrestion.  And its hard to move silently while jabbering.)  If they wander away from the table, spend more time telling jokes than not, engage in inappropriate wisecracks, then close your books, put them away and say 'You guys don't seem to have your minds on gaming tonight.  Why don't we rent a movie or something?'.   You have to make them understand that if they are here to game, then that is what they should be doing.</blockquote>

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