Reply to thread

Message

<blockquote data-quote="KitanaVorr" data-source="post: 721520" data-attributes="member: 9167">Hmm, being one of the few female players and DM's out there...I feel that I just have to respond to this thread.OkFirst off its not a requirement that you be 'one of the boys' for them to learn to respect you.&nbsp; I engage and have engaged in traditionally 'boy' activities for most of my life and have proudly called myself a total tomboy.&nbsp; However, I dress very much like a woman and engage in traditionally feminine activities as well so boys actually don't think I'm a tomboy (just the girls). I work in an extreme environment where 99% of my co-workers are male---Internationally renown defense contractor--and I'm an engineer building macho fighter jets and such.And one major disadvantage is this...I'm actually an attractive, extremely petite, young asian woman.&nbsp; Which results in major nobody paying attention to how smart I am and mostly trying to be super macho (which is a pain!) because I am the least threatening looking person in the world. (it doesn't help that I'm cheerful and goodnatured in person either)So having all those disadvantages, how do I make six feet tall football players quake in fear and do exactly what I say?&nbsp; Its all in the attitude, baby.&nbsp; If your group is giving you a hard time, show them who's boss.&nbsp; I'm serious.&nbsp; You're the DM...You're the boss.&nbsp; Ask them what the problem is, and if its pacing, etc, solve it right away.&nbsp; Don't wait for them to tell you because they won't...ask-solve-move on.&nbsp; That's usually enough to impress them.Don't react emotionally no matter what.&nbsp; That's what they want, to rile you up.&nbsp; When I first started working at the engineering firm, I had to deal with sexist crap from the new guys...well a few well placed witty retorts from me ended that quick.&nbsp; The trick is to stop it right off, don't be a doormat and think it will go away...it won't.&nbsp;&nbsp; Show them that you're not going to take it and you're not stupid either.&nbsp; That usually works.And ladies, be confrontational...not &quot;oh I'm gonna pound your face&quot; macho, but the &quot;I'm not going to put up with your hang ups, so deal with it or get out&quot; kind of way.&nbsp; Don't be afraid to take that ultimatum and carry it out.&nbsp; If you back down, they won't respect you.Its a mob mentality when you get a bunch of guys together and you're the only female.&nbsp; Even if they're good alone, together they can get super stupid super quick until you show them who's really the boss.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="KitanaVorr, post: 721520, member: 9167"] Hmm, being one of the few female players and DM's out there...I feel that I just have to respond to this thread. Ok First off its not a requirement that you be 'one of the boys' for them to learn to respect you. I engage and have engaged in traditionally 'boy' activities for most of my life and have proudly called myself a total tomboy. However, I dress very much like a woman and engage in traditionally feminine activities as well so boys actually don't think I'm a tomboy (just the girls). I work in an extreme environment where 99% of my co-workers are male---Internationally renown defense contractor--and I'm an engineer building macho fighter jets and such. And one major disadvantage is this...I'm actually an attractive, extremely petite, young asian woman. Which results in major nobody paying attention to how smart I am and mostly trying to be super macho (which is a pain!) because I am the least threatening looking person in the world. (it doesn't help that I'm cheerful and goodnatured in person either) So having all those disadvantages, how do I make six feet tall football players quake in fear and do exactly what I say? Its all in the attitude, baby. If your group is giving you a hard time, show them who's boss. I'm serious. You're the DM...You're the boss. Ask them what the problem is, and if its pacing, etc, solve it right away. Don't wait for them to tell you because they won't...ask-solve-move on. That's usually enough to impress them. Don't react emotionally no matter what. That's what they want, to rile you up. When I first started working at the engineering firm, I had to deal with sexist crap from the new guys...well a few well placed witty retorts from me ended that quick. The trick is to stop it right off, don't be a doormat and think it will go away...it won't. Show them that you're not going to take it and you're not stupid either. That usually works. And ladies, be confrontational...not "oh I'm gonna pound your face" macho, but the "I'm not going to put up with your hang ups, so deal with it or get out" kind of way. Don't be afraid to take that ultimatum and carry it out. If you back down, they won't respect you. Its a mob mentality when you get a bunch of guys together and you're the only female. Even if they're good alone, together they can get super stupid super quick until you show them who's really the boss. [/QUOTE]

Verification