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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Cadfan" data-source="post: 4044654" data-attributes="member: 40961">Don't fall into the trap of trying to reason with him.  He clearly has reasons, and he's clearly not going to TELL you those reasons.  You COULD play the "Yes, but..." game:You: WOOHOO!  4e, here we come!  Ready to play?Him: Yeah... but I don't really want to spend the money on 4e.You: Its cool, you can use my books.Him: Yeah... but I don't like borrowing books.You: No worries!  We'll chip in and get you a PHB.Him: Yeah... but my other group won't switch.You: So?  Just play 3e there, and 4e here.Him: Yeah... but I just won't play 4e.This is a neurotic game.  As in, this is an actual neurotic game documented by psychologists.  There's a slightly out of date but relatively landmark book called "The Games People Play" in which this game, amongst others, is described.  The key to understanding it is to realize that you BOTH are being neurotic.  He is concealing his real reasons, and hiding behind a series of excuses.  You, on the other hand, should be able to figure out by now that he's doing that, and by insisting that he give you reasons so that you can counter them, you are enabling the game to continue.Its obvious what he's doing, so the solution is to be the adult in the interaction and accept that he's just not going to agree to play 4e at this point.  Offer him the chance again when 4e is released, perhaps in an email where you can make your point nicely and give him the chance to read it without social anxiety, and maybe he'll come around and hang with you guys.  Or maybe not.  But you'll have done your best.PS- In the email, play up the "we've got a really cool campaign planned, and we want you to play because you're our friend" angle, not the "we've got a really cool set of rules here and you should want to play them" angle.  That will make it easier for him to agree.</blockquote>

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