Upgrade your account to a Community Supporter account and remove most of the site ads.

Reply to thread

Message: <blockquote data-quote="merelycompetent" data-source="post: 2891449" data-attributes="member: 33830">I had to rewrite my response a couple of times. I finally came up with something that I think is acceptable, while still getting the points I want to make across. I'm not going to go through the original post point by point. Instead, I'll make a few general comments and answer your questions directly.First, the general comments:* Naturally he was the target of those verbal assaults - you see similar behavior among non-sentient pack-oriented animals. Among humans, this sort of behavior is beyond rude.* No offense was meant, but it was given, over and over, until he left.* Jokes are not always made at someone's expense. Insults always are. These weren't jokes. They were insults.To answer your questions directly:1. It's gone too far when someone gets hurt. This doesn't mean that you have to sugar-coat every single phrase to avoid hurting overly-sensitive feelings. (Please don't get me started about Drama Queens/Kings.) It *does* mean that the members of the group should have enough dignity and respect to treat a newcomer with basic courtesy and civility, at least until they get settled in for a few sessions.2. Groups supercede individuals - it's a fact of human life. A group shouldn't have to rewrite its entire interaction just because a newcomer is sensitive about loud noises, for example. IMO, this group is toxic, and should be avoided by all reasonable, self-respecting individuals. However, I will not refuse them the right to play as they wish, so long as they don't do it around me or to me.3. A self-respecting player with a modicum of decency would be strongly advised to avoid a group like this - and leave it as early as possible when encountered. If the new player has only been there for one or two sessions, it's time to leave as soon as the first casually rude insult is let loose with accompanying laughter. If this is how they treat a newcomer, imagine the carnage should you accidentally transgress while among them.What a horrible way to treat a new player.</blockquote>

Verification