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Journal of the Souls of Legend (completed)
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<blockquote data-quote="Nthal" data-source="post: 7874594" data-attributes="member: 6971069"><p style="text-align: center"><strong>Unfunny Moments -- 12/18/2019</strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><em>I never think of myself as ‘funny.’ I might say something clever that gets a chuckle, but that isn’t the same thing as having that gift to say the perfect phrase, that causes everyone to roll with laughter. I relish it when I can laugh like that and forget the annoyances of the day. And I envy the folks that can fill a hall with laughter with little more than the perfect phrase.</em></p> <p style="text-align: center"><em></em></p> <p style="text-align: center"><em>But I hear too, that some with that gift are truly cursed. That many struggle with the contradiction of while they can lift the spirts of others easily, their own still wallow alone in despair and pain.</em></p> <p style="text-align: center"><em></em></p> <p style="text-align: center"><em>But worse than that, is the truth that laughter from one, is pain for another. That some take joy on inflicting this upon others. It doesn’t matter why; the end effect is the same; misery and bitterness.</em></p> <p style="text-align: center"><em></em></p> <p style="text-align: center"><em>So, does it come as a real surprise, when the multiverse finds a way to make that pain, literal and fatal?</em></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I slowly walked forward, hearing the heels of my boots echo in the corridor. Gossamer flitted around behind me still eager to leave this place. The only noises I heard were coming from me; otherwise it was silence. I was looking around nervously as I walked closer to the light that flickered ahead. Where once I felt pride in solving a puzzle, I now felt fear and not a small amount of anger at myself. I was certain that Danneath and Iesa were each trapped in a similar circumstance; and it was all my fault.</p><p></p><p>I was pondering this, when I entered the room with the light. The light came from a lit brazier, in front of an elven figure, who I guessed was Sehanine Moonbow. At first, I was puzzled about the fire. But as I approached the flame, it became apparent that it was a magic. It gave off no heat; just light. But it still cast flickering shadows. I would have preferred no light. No light meant no shadows but real light spoiled that view of the world for me. The shadows gave the statue a sinister appearance, as they played across its face.</p><p></p><p>But after regarding the statue and the brazier for a moment, I realized that there was no other visible exit from the room. The brazier was in the center of the room, and the statue was next to it. As I slowly turned around, examining the walls around me, I realized that there <em>was</em> an exit. However, it was blocked with stone, with only the archway visible, just like the circle room I had just left. But unlike that room I saw no writing anywhere. It would seem to be another puzzle, but this was more confusing, as there wasn’t a clear place to start to unblock the path. </p><p></p><p>I moved towards the statue to get a better look at it. The last puzzle involved the prayers to the goddesses, so perhaps this one had to do with their image. Standing next to it, I marveled at its beauty. The skilled artisan that carved it from a block of stone centuries before me was a master. The smooth lines of the goddess’ form showed no defects, no fractures. It was the perfect representation of elven beauty. I smiled to myself, knowing that Iesa’s prayer room probably led him to a statue as well; but his was the goddess of love. So once again he would be faced with an elven beauty that he only could approach and never claim.</p><p></p><p>I reached out to touch the surface of the statue, and I felt the smooth cold stone as I ran my fingers across the surface. There were no inclusions or blemishes that I could feel. As I looked up, I met the goddess’ eyes. They were open and blank, looking across the room. In front of this piece of art, which must have been more than twice my height, I felt small and unworthy.</p><p></p><p><strong>“</strong>Well…what did you want from me, Sehanine Moonbow?” I quipped quietly. And as the last word of the power’s name left my lips, I felt it; a shudder in the Weave. I backed away slowly and started to look around me for…. something…anything, when I felt a wave of heat wash over me. I turned, and saw that in front of the brazier had appeared a figure. It was shorter than I, but its skin looked like heated stone; glowing an orange red. It turned around and quickly spotted me. Its face looked like melted wax, but the burning eyes, and sinister smile of sharpened rock. It looked at me with what I could only guess was violence. As it turned, flexed its hands and stepped towards me.</p><p></p><p>I stared at it for a moment insulted. A fire mephit? Here? And who would send me a mephit? Any planeswalker knew that each type of mephit had a particular meaning intended for the receiver. And this one was particularly insulting; Slight regard and gloating at someone who lost an intellectual battle. Who would dare send a mephit, especially that one?</p><p></p><p>My anger rose in me suddenly, its rage matched the heat the creature gave out. I quickly pulled on a dark strand and cast it at the elemental. I saw the skeletal hand grasp at the creature around the neck and claw at its life. But what happened next was unexpected. In my fury, I could feel that the strand I used was much stronger than I was used to, and I could feel its life force simply be snuffed out like a candle. It started to slump and fall, and as its knees touched the stone floor, it exploded into sharp shards of jagged rock. I staggered as some of the stone hit me, and coughed as I breathed in some hot dust. I looked at where it once stood, and all that remained were small fragments of stone, clustered in a pile.</p><p></p><p>I waved my hand in front of me, trying to clear away the dust and smoke, when I realized that something else had replaced it. Coiled around the remains of the mephit I could see a scaled form. I watched as it moved and slid around the floor, until a serpentine head rose to the height of my waist. Its unblinking eyes regarded me coldly, while a slender string of a tongue tasted the air rapidly with quick flicking motions.</p><p></p><p>It suddenly lunged; its fangs sinking deep into my right arm. It was so fast that I couldn’t block it with my shield or twist out of the way. I screamed in shock and afterwards I felt pain. My arm felt like it was on fire, as the snake pumped its venom into me. The poison acted swiftly, even as I stumbled backwards into a corner. I felt lightheaded as I tried to focus my mind. As the serpent started to slither closer, I pulled one of the rough clay flasks, and tore out the cork with my teeth. Spitting it out, I quaffed it down, the bitter taste burning my mouth and throat as I swallowed. Even so, my stomach stopped heaving, and I felt steadier.</p><p></p><p>It was fortunate, because the snake lunged again. Now a bit better prepared, this time its head collided with my shield as I batted the snake away. Once again pulling on dark strands, I heard the bell ringing deeply, and the snake hissed in pain as I shredded its life. It retaliated, once again swiftly striking in an attempt to clamp its jaws down on me. But this time it missed, striking left, when it should have right. And then flexing, the final bell rang for it as the miasma robbed its remaining life, and it collapsed on the floor in a jumbled pile.</p><p></p><p>I leaned against the wall to catch my breath and looked around, expecting something else who wanted to burn me, bite me or whatever else it had planned. But as I did, I saw that the passaged that once was blocked, now suddenly was clear. Exhaling quickly, I continued towards it, unsure what the next challenge would be.</p><p></p><p><em>--Myr? What is going on here?</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>I really don’t know. Right now, finding the others is the first thing to do.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>--And then beat up the gnome?</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>The thought had crossed my mind…</em></p><p></p><p>I emerged into another square room, again lit by four pillars, and a double door in front of me. The door was made of old worn oak, and it had the same symbol as before, three circles bound by a triangle, embossed upon its surface. But as I moved towards it to look closer, I…smelled something.</p><p></p><p>It was a rancid mixture of tar and rotting fish. I turned around; not sure what foul thing now wanted a turn with me. From a corridor on my right I saw a figure move quickly towards me.</p><p></p><p>“Myrai? Finally!” Daneath said as he emerged from the passage. He too sounded on edge and looking at him in his armor I could see slashes of a dark substance on his vambraces, and some blood covering his sword arm. But it was the smell that I noticed the most, as the foul fish and tar smell came directly from him. Foggle, floated silently in the air following close behind.</p><p></p><p>“Where is…whoa!” I started as I brought a hand to my nose, “What did you run into?”</p><p></p><p>“Don’t rightfully know,” Daneath said with a grimace on his face. “And yeah, I know. Its smells real bad.” I could only nod vigorously in reply, trying not to wretch.</p><p></p><p>“I am guessing that Iesa is that way,” And Daneath pointed down the hallway, opposite of where he emerged. “And so, we wait?”</p><p></p><p>As he said that I finished a spell that would for now change the fishy smell, to one slightly more floral. My eyes stopped tearing up and I was a little more confident in taking a breath without the urge to vomit. Once finished, I started to cast the other spell that would let me see the magical confluence around us. It was simple enough that I could do the ritual while I spoke with Daneath at the same time.</p><p></p><p>“Well, you were blocked in,” I said recalling what just happened to myself. “Until you killed your smelly thing, and then the way was open?”</p><p></p><p>“Pretty much.”</p><p></p><p>“Then we have to wait…unless you have digging tools?”</p><p></p><p>“Do I look like a dwarf?”</p><p></p><p>“Of cou…wait is that a trick question?”</p><p></p><p>“NO!”</p><p></p><p>I shrugged, “Then we wait and get ready to deal with Beepu.”</p><p></p><p>“And how do we do that?”</p><p></p><p>I sighed. “I…I don’t know. When I saw him last, it looked like…something else was <em>with</em> him.” Daneath was wiping off his armor of blood with a cloth but kept glancing up intently at me. “I’ve heard of magic that can possess people, but…”</p><p></p><p>“But you can’t…fix that?”</p><p></p><p>I hung my head down tiredly, “I don’t know how. But we might be able to drive it off.”</p><p></p><p>“By?”</p><p></p><p>I swallowed, took a breath and looked at Daneath. “We kill him.”</p><p></p><p>Daneath looked at me hard, and his mouth opened and closed a couple of times. His face contorted, as he wrestled with the thoughts racing through his head. Finally he sighed, looked at me again and said;</p><p></p><p>“What!?!?”</p><p></p><p>“Look, best guess I have is that a spirit can only possess someone that is alive. So if we kill Beepu it will run!”</p><p></p><p>“So, we don’t save him?”</p><p></p><p>“Let me rephrase; <strong><em>Almost</em></strong> kill him.”</p><p></p><p>“That will work?”</p><p></p><p>“I…don’t know. But it’s the only bad idea I have.”</p><p></p><p>“Why wouldn’t it possess one of us instead?”</p><p></p><p>“Perhaps it could. But from what little I do know, possessing someone of a strong mind is…difficult.”</p><p></p><p>“Wait, then why did it go after Beepu? It liked a challenge?”</p><p></p><p>I shook my head, “I’m thinking that there is a reason that it targeted Beepu, and not someone else. Perhaps for some reason Beepu couldn’t resist it.” I said. I was out of ideas, and all I was doing was grasping at straws. Fortunately, I finished casting the spell. Hopefully it might be able to lead us out of the blinds.</p><p></p><p>Daneath never really noticed what I was doing. But he was about to respond to what I said, when his head jerked up and he readied his sword. He moved, clattering in the mail he wore to the door and listened. </p><p></p><p>I looked at the warrior and waited until he turned to look at me. When he did, I mouthed the word “What” on my lips and shrugged. </p><p></p><p>In response Daneath waved his hand in a rhythmic pattern in…time. </p><p></p><p>Singing.</p><p></p><p>I nodded and check my gear and my wound. The bleeding seemed to have stopped a while ago, and I as ready as could be. Just then we heard from the third passage the sounds of running. Turning, we saw Iesa bound out of the darkness, with Mo close behind, eyes open in terror. He skidded to a stop when he saw us and was about to speak.</p><p></p><p>“Hey g—”</p><p></p><p>“Ssshhhh!” Daneath and I both hissed and I pointed to the door.</p><p></p><p>Iesa nodded and moved close to me and whispered in my ear.</p><p></p><p>“We have a plan?”</p><p></p><p>“Yeah…almost kill him.”</p><p></p><p>“Almost? How am I supposed to do that?”</p><p></p><p>“Stop huffing in my ear! And with…panache.” I said looking at the panting Knight of the Post. “It’s the only chance we have.”</p><p></p><p>He gave a sharp short sigh and nodded, shrugging as if to say “oh well,” We both turned to Daneath and we pointed at the door, and we both nodded. Daneath nodded in return. He then grabbed the door pull and heaved open the door, revealing the next chamber.</p><p></p><p>It too was lit from flames in sconces, but the room felt cold as the flames did not warm the room at all. Lining the walls were cases and cases of books on stone shelves. In the center of the room once stood a long table, now broken and sundered on its side. On the left side of the room, on the floor I saw a bound metal chest. But in front of it was a diminutive skeleton, almost childlike. I didn’t have much time to stare as my attention was drawn to the right side, by the sound of tearing paper and humming. Turning to look we saw Beepu, flying in the air cheerfully tearing paper from a book and throwing it nonchalantly in the air over his shoulder. </p><p></p><p>“Beeeepppuuuu,” Foggle hooted mournfully, still hovering around Daneath.</p><p></p><p>“hmmm hm hm hm hmmmhmmm, Hey!” and Beepu turned to look at us with glowing white eyes. “So, you made through passages three, and now it’s your time to face me?” He giggled.</p><p></p><p>Iesa stepped in front of us and spoke, “Now Beepu…this isn’t funny. Let’s stop this nonsense now.”</p><p></p><p>“Pretense, nonsense, no sense, now! And I expect you to laugh like a cow,” and I watched as Beepu waved his hand. I saw a small flash of light, and a sinister smile creep across the gnomes face as he floated and giggled.</p><p></p><p>From behind I watched Iesa struggle for a moment, as if trying to stiffle a cough…or a laugh. Then I heard him struggle a moment and retort back. “Not…funny…Beepu.” His shoulders dropped a second, and then he lunged straight at the gnome with a yell. His blade pierced the air and looked to pierce the heart of the gnome when suddenly an explosion of color paper appeared clouding all of our vision. Then drifting lazily to the left I saw the bouncing gnome, scattering more papers as he went, giggling madly.</p><p></p><p>I ran to my left to block Beepu from moving and started to flex a dark strand. Once again, I struggled…I felt a fleeting feeling that I should…do something else. Something else <em>for</em> Beepu. I focused my mind and pushed through the compulsion, and threw the strand at my former friend, trying to claw at his life. But I too was rewarded by an explosion of paper and derisive laughter from the gnome.</p><p></p><p>Daneath ran towards the floating gnome, with grim determination. But he never made it across the room before he stopped, and slowly turned, like he was having his own mental hurdles to overcome. But after a moment, it stopped, and he simply charged.</p><p></p><p>Straight into Iesa, swinging his sword trying to hit his brother. But it was like he wasn’t really trying to hit him, as he swung. But it was enough to keep Iesa off-balance, lest the heavy blade did find its way past Iesa’s defenses.</p><p></p><p>“What are you doing D?” Iesa barked at Daneath, parrying with his rapier, as Daneath tried to swing again.</p><p></p><p>“We…need…to worship…the Beepu,” Daneath said with frustration at the words coming from his mouth.</p><p></p><p>Beepu laughed at us like a childhood bully would laugh at their victim. Cold, mean and spiteful. He was enjoying our frustration; our ineptitude. And I <strong><em>was</em></strong> frustrated. Almost past my endurance. I was beginning to think that we had no choice but to run, and leave Beepu behind, when again I spied that chest near me with the skeleton. </p><p></p><p>Iesa and Daneath’s battle faded to the background for a moment as I looked at them. The first thing that stood out was the scorch like marks, just under a thin layer of dust on the chest. I moved right next to the chest and blew, scattering it away and revealing marks below. The text was again elven, but my spell from before was still working and I could read what remained. A phrase that basically meant “unpredictable weave.”</p><p></p><p>I looked then at the skeleton, and saw I was mistaken; it wasn’t a child. The frame was hunched, and broader than a child. As I looked at the skull, and saw that, of the teeth that remained they were larger, like an adult’s and the fangs more robust. The skull’s forehead was not like a human’s either, being more sloped, and wider in proportion. I realized it probably was a goblin’s skull. Then I heard another clash of metal on metal and I turned to look at the melee.</p><p></p><p>“Come…on…throw…yourself at Beepu’s…mercy,” Daneath stammered, still weakly trying to swing at Iesa. He wasn’t swinging hard, but an errant blow was still dangerous. Iesa kept moving away, not willing to commit himself against his brother as he deftly fended off the blows. As he was doing so, Iesa turned to look at me and shouted.</p><p></p><p>“I hope you have an idea here,” he yelled at me.</p><p></p><p>Then before I could respond, I heard that derisive laughter again and heard “Oh hiding, and ever lurkin? Maybe you need more ‘Frog and the Firkin!’”</p><p></p><p>I was puzzled for the briefest of moments, and then my head exploded in pain. I tried to cover my head, instinctually trying to protect it as the pain continued. As I knelt there on the ground, I watched as I saw a splash of blood hit the floor, and I could feel more dribble out of my nose. All the while I was mentally trying to think through the problem here. </p><p></p><p>What was the connection?</p><p></p><p>Panting heavily, I focused on the chest looking for disruptions in the Weave. I was rewarded with what appeared to be a shimmering vortex of wild color and power. Its matrix started at the chest, and strands of it spread to the skeleton and to Beepu as well. The same shimmering that I had seen before was incredibly strong here, warping everything it was touching. The room was changing from clean and new, to ruined and forgotten. The chest from shiny and clean, to dusty and corroded. The skeleton from a corpse, to a goblin dressed in garb that struck me as a cross between a priestly robe with the patterns of a street performer.</p><p></p><p>Where once I was squinting, trying to absorb the cacophony, my eyes widened drinking it in. I turned to look at Beepu, and I saw it clearly now. The shimmering shifted between a gnome, and the same goblin in the strange garb.</p><p></p><p>No. Not a <em>goblin</em>.</p><p></p><p>A <em>Nilbog!</em></p><p></p><p>I knew what we needed to do.</p><p></p><p>“Iesa,” I shouted. “Knock some sense in Daneath now!”</p><p></p><p>“What do you think I am doing?” he shouted back, and parrying another weak blow.</p><p></p><p>“Not trying hard enough! Just. Hit. HIM!” I shouted back, and I pulled out my symbol of Kelemvor. “I need time! And I need both of you to keep the Nilb…Beepu busy.”</p><p></p><p>I heard another parry and then a whistling of the rapier in the air and finally a groan from Deneath.</p><p></p><p>“Ugh…what the? You hit me!”</p><p></p><p>“You <em>noticed</em>.” Iesa quipped. “Great, now help me with Beepu. Myr needs time.”</p><p></p><p>I fumbled in my pouch, looking desperately for it. I didn’t have a lot, but I needed it now. Finally, my hands touched the cool glass of the vial I sought. I pulled it out and smiled. It was a small crystalline vial with a glass stopper, sealed with wax. </p><p></p><p>Holy water.</p><p></p><p>I twisted the stopper and poured the contents onto my fingers. It was barely enough to wet them with a couple of drops, but it would be enough. I moved to the goblin body and touched my wet fingers across what once would have been its brow. I then started to say the words of the sacrament:</p><p></p><p><em>“No one should be alone, in life or death. Death is a part of life, not an ending but a beginning.”</em></p><p></p><p>Daneath now under control again turned and started to charge the Nilbog, and again found himself struggling. This time he sunk to his knees, breathing heavily as if kneeling was the most challenging thing he could do. Through gritted teeth he spat, “What…is… she…doing?”</p><p></p><p>“<em>Death is without deceit and has meaning. May your soul find its way to Acheron to the Great Warren. Join your brethren with Khurgorbaeyag.”</em></p><p></p><p>“It sounds like…last rites?” Iesa said as he hurled a dagger at the Nilbog, only to see it hit the ground in a shower of paper and laughter in Beepu’s voice. I quickly glanced at the flying gnome and saw him again pull at the weave and mock Iesa. “Roll, troll, how droll! Drop and laugh you silly calf!” <em> </em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>“May your kin guide you on the next step of your journey. Because Death is never an end, but a waypost. Not a destination, but a Journey. The memory of your deeds will live forever in your kin.”</em></p><p></p><p>Iesa twisted and shook his head, and took steps toward the flying gnome. He looked Beepu in the eye and with a small chuckle said forcefully; “<strong><em>Still</em></strong> not funny.” And thrust straight at the gnome only to be blinded by more colored paper.</p><p></p><p>“Why wont you LAUGH?!?” the Nilbog retorted, now sounding more angry than mocking.</p><p></p><p>“<em>So be the will of my Lord, and my desire in faith</em>. <em>May Death grant you peace.”</em></p><p></p><p>I finished the blessing and looked at the Weave once more. The connection between the corpse and the chest was gone, leaving only the curse connected to Beepu’s tormentor. I now stood and smiled a moment. I focused on the dark and light strands and readied my next move.</p><p></p><p>I braced a moment and wrestled against that compulsion not to hit him and pushed past it, once again. Feeling the compulsion give I shouted at the Nilbog:</p><p></p><p>“Hey! Catch!” and I threw a bolt of energy at the gnome and the spirit. I could see the bolt streak and hit another explosion of paper.</p><p></p><p>“Hah! You little nit, you can’t hit!”</p><p></p><p>I spun, and then released the <em>second</em> bolt and sent it streaking at the gnome. This time the bolt hit Beepu in the middle of his chest, and the we heard the sound of air leaving his lungs in a wheeze. Blood spurted out of his mouth. His face contorted in anger and shock, and it looked at me in surprise.</p><p></p><p>“That’s not what’s writ, you little twit!” I retorted. “Guys, you need to hit him <em>twice</em>.”</p><p></p><p>Iesa looked at Beepu now and smiled. He pulled out his dagger that he found in Flint rock, with his left hand, and moved. Slashing with it first the paper exploded again, but the rapier pierced through the falling scraps and connected with the gnome’s body. Blood sprayed from the wound, splattering the drifting paper with blood.</p><p></p><p>“Beeeepppuuuu,” Foggle hooted mournfully at the turn of events, still near the entrance, where Mo peaked around the corner, and Gossamer sat looking on unconcerned.</p><p></p><p>Daneath blinked and then pulled himself up off the ground and shouted with a grin on his face. He charged once again, this time undeterred by the Nilbog’s effect and was a whirl of blades. His sword cut through the paper shreds. His first swing was met with yet another explosion, but his follow through landed solidly in Beepu’s side, causing more blood to spray and hit the shelves and books. But his anger burned hotter still and two more times he swung at the Nilbog, and more paper fluttered in the air, and Beepu gave out a large wheeze as the air left his lungs with the last strike. Yet the Nilbog floated there with a look at contempt at us all.</p><p></p><p>“This is no fun…time to run!” and our gnome, streaked past the entrance we came in, our trio of animals scattering to get clear. It flew down the corridor that Iesa had originally came from.</p><p></p><p>Daneath started to move and once again was struggling; the compulsion not to hurt the gnome was overwhelming him. But Iesa and I ran after the gnome, as fast as we could.</p><p></p><p>“I don’t think…I can…catch him.” Iesa said, as he ran by me. But I saw the gnome turn a corner at a speed that put Iesa to shame. And I was no where near the runner. I watched Iesa turn the corner sprinting as fast as he could. </p><p></p><p>This wasn’t going to work unless we could actually <em>hit</em> the Nilbolg. And if Iesa couldn’t get close, then there was no chance I could. But I didn’t need to catch him.</p><p></p><p>I rounded the corner and immediately pulled on the strands again. Twisting the strands, I threw a pair of bolts of energy down the corridor, I watched as they streaked past Iesa. Time seemed to slow, and I felt my heart beat as I watched the bolts flew towards their target.</p><p></p><p>The first got close, and more paper streamers exploded in the corridor, blocking my sight of the gnome. Then I watched the second fly through the cloud of colors. My heart skipped a beat as I heard nothing for a moment. My heart sank…my last attempt to save Beepu from the Nilbog. Then I heard it; the sound of a body hitting the ground.</p><p></p><p>I ran forward, starting to look at the Weave once again. I could see the connection that probably led back to the chest’s curse. But as I watched, I saw the end of it moving ahead of me. The tail of the stream of energy flew over me and just as I arrived at Beepu’s body; I saw the Nilbog’s spirit hover there.</p><p></p><p>It looked confused, and it tried to reach toward the fallen gnome’s body. But it strained to connect with it, seeming to be repelled. It then turned and looked at me. Its eyes had the haunted look I knew well; the look of a nightmare ending. It said nothing, but it smiled as I watched its form dissipate into formless mist, and then into nothing.</p><p></p><p>I didn’t even stop to think. I threw a light strand of energy at Beepu; shrieking:</p><p></p><p>“E kohana ma ko’o makunanae!”</p><p></p><p>I passed Iesa who had stopped near the fallen gnome. I ran to his form and slid down onto my knees. I rolled him over gently, until he was facing upwards and my heart almost broke. He was badly beaten, and blood oozed from wounds that we created as we savaged him to free him from the Nilbog spirit. He was drenched blood, and it started to settle and pool beneath him.</p><p></p><p>Too much blood.</p><p></p><p>I knelt there and leaned over Beepu’s clean-shaven face, streaked with his own blood. I turned my head looking down the corridor. I pulled my hair away with a hand, and lowered my cheek down low, hovering just above his nose and mouth. I closed my eyes and waited, listening.</p><p></p><p>I heard Iesa step closer, and then I heard the sound of wings fluttering. I heard mail clattering in the distance, getting closer and then finally halting. But no one said anything; waiting for my next words to break the silence.</p><p></p><p>I heard nothing. The tears started to well in my already shut eyes. I had no words. No thoughts. Just overwhelming pain and sorrow that touched my soul.</p><p></p><p>Time passed, and I swallowed and was about to speak when I felt it. The hairs on my cheek were brushed ever so slightly. I waited and I realized in the silence, that I felt the faint touch of breath on my cheek; its warmth casting away the chill of the cool underground air. I opened my eyes and heard the drops of my tears splash on Beepu’s face. But as I looked, I could see the faint rise and fall of his chest, as he quietly lay there barely breathing.</p><p></p><p>I turned my head to look at the first face I could see, that off Iesa. I said nothing as the tears fell. But my smile told the story best as I watched Iesa once stricken face relax and break into a grin even as his eyes watered. And then finally, he started to laugh, and he turned to look at his brother. Daneath’s face too softened and he clasped his brother and joined him in deep laughter smiling, wiping the tears from his eyes.</p><p></p><p>I finally couldn’t control myself and let the joy in and laughed too as my tears fell. For it was that laughter was the only magic needed to set things right.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nthal, post: 7874594, member: 6971069"] [CENTER][B]Unfunny Moments -- 12/18/2019[/B] [I]I never think of myself as ‘funny.’ I might say something clever that gets a chuckle, but that isn’t the same thing as having that gift to say the perfect phrase, that causes everyone to roll with laughter. I relish it when I can laugh like that and forget the annoyances of the day. And I envy the folks that can fill a hall with laughter with little more than the perfect phrase. But I hear too, that some with that gift are truly cursed. That many struggle with the contradiction of while they can lift the spirts of others easily, their own still wallow alone in despair and pain. But worse than that, is the truth that laughter from one, is pain for another. That some take joy on inflicting this upon others. It doesn’t matter why; the end effect is the same; misery and bitterness. So, does it come as a real surprise, when the multiverse finds a way to make that pain, literal and fatal?[/I][/CENTER] I slowly walked forward, hearing the heels of my boots echo in the corridor. Gossamer flitted around behind me still eager to leave this place. The only noises I heard were coming from me; otherwise it was silence. I was looking around nervously as I walked closer to the light that flickered ahead. Where once I felt pride in solving a puzzle, I now felt fear and not a small amount of anger at myself. I was certain that Danneath and Iesa were each trapped in a similar circumstance; and it was all my fault. I was pondering this, when I entered the room with the light. The light came from a lit brazier, in front of an elven figure, who I guessed was Sehanine Moonbow. At first, I was puzzled about the fire. But as I approached the flame, it became apparent that it was a magic. It gave off no heat; just light. But it still cast flickering shadows. I would have preferred no light. No light meant no shadows but real light spoiled that view of the world for me. The shadows gave the statue a sinister appearance, as they played across its face. But after regarding the statue and the brazier for a moment, I realized that there was no other visible exit from the room. The brazier was in the center of the room, and the statue was next to it. As I slowly turned around, examining the walls around me, I realized that there [I]was[/I] an exit. However, it was blocked with stone, with only the archway visible, just like the circle room I had just left. But unlike that room I saw no writing anywhere. It would seem to be another puzzle, but this was more confusing, as there wasn’t a clear place to start to unblock the path. I moved towards the statue to get a better look at it. The last puzzle involved the prayers to the goddesses, so perhaps this one had to do with their image. Standing next to it, I marveled at its beauty. The skilled artisan that carved it from a block of stone centuries before me was a master. The smooth lines of the goddess’ form showed no defects, no fractures. It was the perfect representation of elven beauty. I smiled to myself, knowing that Iesa’s prayer room probably led him to a statue as well; but his was the goddess of love. So once again he would be faced with an elven beauty that he only could approach and never claim. I reached out to touch the surface of the statue, and I felt the smooth cold stone as I ran my fingers across the surface. There were no inclusions or blemishes that I could feel. As I looked up, I met the goddess’ eyes. They were open and blank, looking across the room. In front of this piece of art, which must have been more than twice my height, I felt small and unworthy. [B]“[/B]Well…what did you want from me, Sehanine Moonbow?” I quipped quietly. And as the last word of the power’s name left my lips, I felt it; a shudder in the Weave. I backed away slowly and started to look around me for…. something…anything, when I felt a wave of heat wash over me. I turned, and saw that in front of the brazier had appeared a figure. It was shorter than I, but its skin looked like heated stone; glowing an orange red. It turned around and quickly spotted me. Its face looked like melted wax, but the burning eyes, and sinister smile of sharpened rock. It looked at me with what I could only guess was violence. As it turned, flexed its hands and stepped towards me. I stared at it for a moment insulted. A fire mephit? Here? And who would send me a mephit? Any planeswalker knew that each type of mephit had a particular meaning intended for the receiver. And this one was particularly insulting; Slight regard and gloating at someone who lost an intellectual battle. Who would dare send a mephit, especially that one? My anger rose in me suddenly, its rage matched the heat the creature gave out. I quickly pulled on a dark strand and cast it at the elemental. I saw the skeletal hand grasp at the creature around the neck and claw at its life. But what happened next was unexpected. In my fury, I could feel that the strand I used was much stronger than I was used to, and I could feel its life force simply be snuffed out like a candle. It started to slump and fall, and as its knees touched the stone floor, it exploded into sharp shards of jagged rock. I staggered as some of the stone hit me, and coughed as I breathed in some hot dust. I looked at where it once stood, and all that remained were small fragments of stone, clustered in a pile. I waved my hand in front of me, trying to clear away the dust and smoke, when I realized that something else had replaced it. Coiled around the remains of the mephit I could see a scaled form. I watched as it moved and slid around the floor, until a serpentine head rose to the height of my waist. Its unblinking eyes regarded me coldly, while a slender string of a tongue tasted the air rapidly with quick flicking motions. It suddenly lunged; its fangs sinking deep into my right arm. It was so fast that I couldn’t block it with my shield or twist out of the way. I screamed in shock and afterwards I felt pain. My arm felt like it was on fire, as the snake pumped its venom into me. The poison acted swiftly, even as I stumbled backwards into a corner. I felt lightheaded as I tried to focus my mind. As the serpent started to slither closer, I pulled one of the rough clay flasks, and tore out the cork with my teeth. Spitting it out, I quaffed it down, the bitter taste burning my mouth and throat as I swallowed. Even so, my stomach stopped heaving, and I felt steadier. It was fortunate, because the snake lunged again. Now a bit better prepared, this time its head collided with my shield as I batted the snake away. Once again pulling on dark strands, I heard the bell ringing deeply, and the snake hissed in pain as I shredded its life. It retaliated, once again swiftly striking in an attempt to clamp its jaws down on me. But this time it missed, striking left, when it should have right. And then flexing, the final bell rang for it as the miasma robbed its remaining life, and it collapsed on the floor in a jumbled pile. I leaned against the wall to catch my breath and looked around, expecting something else who wanted to burn me, bite me or whatever else it had planned. But as I did, I saw that the passaged that once was blocked, now suddenly was clear. Exhaling quickly, I continued towards it, unsure what the next challenge would be. [I]--Myr? What is going on here? I really don’t know. Right now, finding the others is the first thing to do. --And then beat up the gnome? The thought had crossed my mind…[/I] I emerged into another square room, again lit by four pillars, and a double door in front of me. The door was made of old worn oak, and it had the same symbol as before, three circles bound by a triangle, embossed upon its surface. But as I moved towards it to look closer, I…smelled something. It was a rancid mixture of tar and rotting fish. I turned around; not sure what foul thing now wanted a turn with me. From a corridor on my right I saw a figure move quickly towards me. “Myrai? Finally!” Daneath said as he emerged from the passage. He too sounded on edge and looking at him in his armor I could see slashes of a dark substance on his vambraces, and some blood covering his sword arm. But it was the smell that I noticed the most, as the foul fish and tar smell came directly from him. Foggle, floated silently in the air following close behind. “Where is…whoa!” I started as I brought a hand to my nose, “What did you run into?” “Don’t rightfully know,” Daneath said with a grimace on his face. “And yeah, I know. Its smells real bad.” I could only nod vigorously in reply, trying not to wretch. “I am guessing that Iesa is that way,” And Daneath pointed down the hallway, opposite of where he emerged. “And so, we wait?” As he said that I finished a spell that would for now change the fishy smell, to one slightly more floral. My eyes stopped tearing up and I was a little more confident in taking a breath without the urge to vomit. Once finished, I started to cast the other spell that would let me see the magical confluence around us. It was simple enough that I could do the ritual while I spoke with Daneath at the same time. “Well, you were blocked in,” I said recalling what just happened to myself. “Until you killed your smelly thing, and then the way was open?” “Pretty much.” “Then we have to wait…unless you have digging tools?” “Do I look like a dwarf?” “Of cou…wait is that a trick question?” “NO!” I shrugged, “Then we wait and get ready to deal with Beepu.” “And how do we do that?” I sighed. “I…I don’t know. When I saw him last, it looked like…something else was [I]with[/I] him.” Daneath was wiping off his armor of blood with a cloth but kept glancing up intently at me. “I’ve heard of magic that can possess people, but…” “But you can’t…fix that?” I hung my head down tiredly, “I don’t know how. But we might be able to drive it off.” “By?” I swallowed, took a breath and looked at Daneath. “We kill him.” Daneath looked at me hard, and his mouth opened and closed a couple of times. His face contorted, as he wrestled with the thoughts racing through his head. Finally he sighed, looked at me again and said; “What!?!?” “Look, best guess I have is that a spirit can only possess someone that is alive. So if we kill Beepu it will run!” “So, we don’t save him?” “Let me rephrase; [B][I]Almost[/I][/B] kill him.” “That will work?” “I…don’t know. But it’s the only bad idea I have.” “Why wouldn’t it possess one of us instead?” “Perhaps it could. But from what little I do know, possessing someone of a strong mind is…difficult.” “Wait, then why did it go after Beepu? It liked a challenge?” I shook my head, “I’m thinking that there is a reason that it targeted Beepu, and not someone else. Perhaps for some reason Beepu couldn’t resist it.” I said. I was out of ideas, and all I was doing was grasping at straws. Fortunately, I finished casting the spell. Hopefully it might be able to lead us out of the blinds. Daneath never really noticed what I was doing. But he was about to respond to what I said, when his head jerked up and he readied his sword. He moved, clattering in the mail he wore to the door and listened. I looked at the warrior and waited until he turned to look at me. When he did, I mouthed the word “What” on my lips and shrugged. In response Daneath waved his hand in a rhythmic pattern in…time. Singing. I nodded and check my gear and my wound. The bleeding seemed to have stopped a while ago, and I as ready as could be. Just then we heard from the third passage the sounds of running. Turning, we saw Iesa bound out of the darkness, with Mo close behind, eyes open in terror. He skidded to a stop when he saw us and was about to speak. “Hey g—” “Ssshhhh!” Daneath and I both hissed and I pointed to the door. Iesa nodded and moved close to me and whispered in my ear. “We have a plan?” “Yeah…almost kill him.” “Almost? How am I supposed to do that?” “Stop huffing in my ear! And with…panache.” I said looking at the panting Knight of the Post. “It’s the only chance we have.” He gave a sharp short sigh and nodded, shrugging as if to say “oh well,” We both turned to Daneath and we pointed at the door, and we both nodded. Daneath nodded in return. He then grabbed the door pull and heaved open the door, revealing the next chamber. It too was lit from flames in sconces, but the room felt cold as the flames did not warm the room at all. Lining the walls were cases and cases of books on stone shelves. In the center of the room once stood a long table, now broken and sundered on its side. On the left side of the room, on the floor I saw a bound metal chest. But in front of it was a diminutive skeleton, almost childlike. I didn’t have much time to stare as my attention was drawn to the right side, by the sound of tearing paper and humming. Turning to look we saw Beepu, flying in the air cheerfully tearing paper from a book and throwing it nonchalantly in the air over his shoulder. “Beeeepppuuuu,” Foggle hooted mournfully, still hovering around Daneath. “hmmm hm hm hm hmmmhmmm, Hey!” and Beepu turned to look at us with glowing white eyes. “So, you made through passages three, and now it’s your time to face me?” He giggled. Iesa stepped in front of us and spoke, “Now Beepu…this isn’t funny. Let’s stop this nonsense now.” “Pretense, nonsense, no sense, now! And I expect you to laugh like a cow,” and I watched as Beepu waved his hand. I saw a small flash of light, and a sinister smile creep across the gnomes face as he floated and giggled. From behind I watched Iesa struggle for a moment, as if trying to stiffle a cough…or a laugh. Then I heard him struggle a moment and retort back. “Not…funny…Beepu.” His shoulders dropped a second, and then he lunged straight at the gnome with a yell. His blade pierced the air and looked to pierce the heart of the gnome when suddenly an explosion of color paper appeared clouding all of our vision. Then drifting lazily to the left I saw the bouncing gnome, scattering more papers as he went, giggling madly. I ran to my left to block Beepu from moving and started to flex a dark strand. Once again, I struggled…I felt a fleeting feeling that I should…do something else. Something else [I]for[/I] Beepu. I focused my mind and pushed through the compulsion, and threw the strand at my former friend, trying to claw at his life. But I too was rewarded by an explosion of paper and derisive laughter from the gnome. Daneath ran towards the floating gnome, with grim determination. But he never made it across the room before he stopped, and slowly turned, like he was having his own mental hurdles to overcome. But after a moment, it stopped, and he simply charged. Straight into Iesa, swinging his sword trying to hit his brother. But it was like he wasn’t really trying to hit him, as he swung. But it was enough to keep Iesa off-balance, lest the heavy blade did find its way past Iesa’s defenses. “What are you doing D?” Iesa barked at Daneath, parrying with his rapier, as Daneath tried to swing again. “We…need…to worship…the Beepu,” Daneath said with frustration at the words coming from his mouth. Beepu laughed at us like a childhood bully would laugh at their victim. Cold, mean and spiteful. He was enjoying our frustration; our ineptitude. And I [B][I]was[/I][/B] frustrated. Almost past my endurance. I was beginning to think that we had no choice but to run, and leave Beepu behind, when again I spied that chest near me with the skeleton. Iesa and Daneath’s battle faded to the background for a moment as I looked at them. The first thing that stood out was the scorch like marks, just under a thin layer of dust on the chest. I moved right next to the chest and blew, scattering it away and revealing marks below. The text was again elven, but my spell from before was still working and I could read what remained. A phrase that basically meant “unpredictable weave.” I looked then at the skeleton, and saw I was mistaken; it wasn’t a child. The frame was hunched, and broader than a child. As I looked at the skull, and saw that, of the teeth that remained they were larger, like an adult’s and the fangs more robust. The skull’s forehead was not like a human’s either, being more sloped, and wider in proportion. I realized it probably was a goblin’s skull. Then I heard another clash of metal on metal and I turned to look at the melee. “Come…on…throw…yourself at Beepu’s…mercy,” Daneath stammered, still weakly trying to swing at Iesa. He wasn’t swinging hard, but an errant blow was still dangerous. Iesa kept moving away, not willing to commit himself against his brother as he deftly fended off the blows. As he was doing so, Iesa turned to look at me and shouted. “I hope you have an idea here,” he yelled at me. Then before I could respond, I heard that derisive laughter again and heard “Oh hiding, and ever lurkin? Maybe you need more ‘Frog and the Firkin!’” I was puzzled for the briefest of moments, and then my head exploded in pain. I tried to cover my head, instinctually trying to protect it as the pain continued. As I knelt there on the ground, I watched as I saw a splash of blood hit the floor, and I could feel more dribble out of my nose. All the while I was mentally trying to think through the problem here. What was the connection? Panting heavily, I focused on the chest looking for disruptions in the Weave. I was rewarded with what appeared to be a shimmering vortex of wild color and power. Its matrix started at the chest, and strands of it spread to the skeleton and to Beepu as well. The same shimmering that I had seen before was incredibly strong here, warping everything it was touching. The room was changing from clean and new, to ruined and forgotten. The chest from shiny and clean, to dusty and corroded. The skeleton from a corpse, to a goblin dressed in garb that struck me as a cross between a priestly robe with the patterns of a street performer. Where once I was squinting, trying to absorb the cacophony, my eyes widened drinking it in. I turned to look at Beepu, and I saw it clearly now. The shimmering shifted between a gnome, and the same goblin in the strange garb. No. Not a [I]goblin[/I]. A [I]Nilbog![/I] I knew what we needed to do. “Iesa,” I shouted. “Knock some sense in Daneath now!” “What do you think I am doing?” he shouted back, and parrying another weak blow. “Not trying hard enough! Just. Hit. HIM!” I shouted back, and I pulled out my symbol of Kelemvor. “I need time! And I need both of you to keep the Nilb…Beepu busy.” I heard another parry and then a whistling of the rapier in the air and finally a groan from Deneath. “Ugh…what the? You hit me!” “You [I]noticed[/I].” Iesa quipped. “Great, now help me with Beepu. Myr needs time.” I fumbled in my pouch, looking desperately for it. I didn’t have a lot, but I needed it now. Finally, my hands touched the cool glass of the vial I sought. I pulled it out and smiled. It was a small crystalline vial with a glass stopper, sealed with wax. Holy water. I twisted the stopper and poured the contents onto my fingers. It was barely enough to wet them with a couple of drops, but it would be enough. I moved to the goblin body and touched my wet fingers across what once would have been its brow. I then started to say the words of the sacrament: [I]“No one should be alone, in life or death. Death is a part of life, not an ending but a beginning.”[/I] Daneath now under control again turned and started to charge the Nilbog, and again found himself struggling. This time he sunk to his knees, breathing heavily as if kneeling was the most challenging thing he could do. Through gritted teeth he spat, “What…is… she…doing?” “[I]Death is without deceit and has meaning. May your soul find its way to Acheron to the Great Warren. Join your brethren with Khurgorbaeyag.”[/I] “It sounds like…last rites?” Iesa said as he hurled a dagger at the Nilbog, only to see it hit the ground in a shower of paper and laughter in Beepu’s voice. I quickly glanced at the flying gnome and saw him again pull at the weave and mock Iesa. “Roll, troll, how droll! Drop and laugh you silly calf!” [I] “May your kin guide you on the next step of your journey. Because Death is never an end, but a waypost. Not a destination, but a Journey. The memory of your deeds will live forever in your kin.”[/I] Iesa twisted and shook his head, and took steps toward the flying gnome. He looked Beepu in the eye and with a small chuckle said forcefully; “[B][I]Still[/I][/B] not funny.” And thrust straight at the gnome only to be blinded by more colored paper. “Why wont you LAUGH?!?” the Nilbog retorted, now sounding more angry than mocking. “[I]So be the will of my Lord, and my desire in faith[/I]. [I]May Death grant you peace.”[/I] I finished the blessing and looked at the Weave once more. The connection between the corpse and the chest was gone, leaving only the curse connected to Beepu’s tormentor. I now stood and smiled a moment. I focused on the dark and light strands and readied my next move. I braced a moment and wrestled against that compulsion not to hit him and pushed past it, once again. Feeling the compulsion give I shouted at the Nilbog: “Hey! Catch!” and I threw a bolt of energy at the gnome and the spirit. I could see the bolt streak and hit another explosion of paper. “Hah! You little nit, you can’t hit!” I spun, and then released the [I]second[/I] bolt and sent it streaking at the gnome. This time the bolt hit Beepu in the middle of his chest, and the we heard the sound of air leaving his lungs in a wheeze. Blood spurted out of his mouth. His face contorted in anger and shock, and it looked at me in surprise. “That’s not what’s writ, you little twit!” I retorted. “Guys, you need to hit him [I]twice[/I].” Iesa looked at Beepu now and smiled. He pulled out his dagger that he found in Flint rock, with his left hand, and moved. Slashing with it first the paper exploded again, but the rapier pierced through the falling scraps and connected with the gnome’s body. Blood sprayed from the wound, splattering the drifting paper with blood. “Beeeepppuuuu,” Foggle hooted mournfully at the turn of events, still near the entrance, where Mo peaked around the corner, and Gossamer sat looking on unconcerned. Daneath blinked and then pulled himself up off the ground and shouted with a grin on his face. He charged once again, this time undeterred by the Nilbog’s effect and was a whirl of blades. His sword cut through the paper shreds. His first swing was met with yet another explosion, but his follow through landed solidly in Beepu’s side, causing more blood to spray and hit the shelves and books. But his anger burned hotter still and two more times he swung at the Nilbog, and more paper fluttered in the air, and Beepu gave out a large wheeze as the air left his lungs with the last strike. Yet the Nilbog floated there with a look at contempt at us all. “This is no fun…time to run!” and our gnome, streaked past the entrance we came in, our trio of animals scattering to get clear. It flew down the corridor that Iesa had originally came from. Daneath started to move and once again was struggling; the compulsion not to hurt the gnome was overwhelming him. But Iesa and I ran after the gnome, as fast as we could. “I don’t think…I can…catch him.” Iesa said, as he ran by me. But I saw the gnome turn a corner at a speed that put Iesa to shame. And I was no where near the runner. I watched Iesa turn the corner sprinting as fast as he could. This wasn’t going to work unless we could actually [I]hit[/I] the Nilbolg. And if Iesa couldn’t get close, then there was no chance I could. But I didn’t need to catch him. I rounded the corner and immediately pulled on the strands again. Twisting the strands, I threw a pair of bolts of energy down the corridor, I watched as they streaked past Iesa. Time seemed to slow, and I felt my heart beat as I watched the bolts flew towards their target. The first got close, and more paper streamers exploded in the corridor, blocking my sight of the gnome. Then I watched the second fly through the cloud of colors. My heart skipped a beat as I heard nothing for a moment. My heart sank…my last attempt to save Beepu from the Nilbog. Then I heard it; the sound of a body hitting the ground. I ran forward, starting to look at the Weave once again. I could see the connection that probably led back to the chest’s curse. But as I watched, I saw the end of it moving ahead of me. The tail of the stream of energy flew over me and just as I arrived at Beepu’s body; I saw the Nilbog’s spirit hover there. It looked confused, and it tried to reach toward the fallen gnome’s body. But it strained to connect with it, seeming to be repelled. It then turned and looked at me. Its eyes had the haunted look I knew well; the look of a nightmare ending. It said nothing, but it smiled as I watched its form dissipate into formless mist, and then into nothing. I didn’t even stop to think. I threw a light strand of energy at Beepu; shrieking: “E kohana ma ko’o makunanae!” I passed Iesa who had stopped near the fallen gnome. I ran to his form and slid down onto my knees. I rolled him over gently, until he was facing upwards and my heart almost broke. He was badly beaten, and blood oozed from wounds that we created as we savaged him to free him from the Nilbog spirit. He was drenched blood, and it started to settle and pool beneath him. Too much blood. I knelt there and leaned over Beepu’s clean-shaven face, streaked with his own blood. I turned my head looking down the corridor. I pulled my hair away with a hand, and lowered my cheek down low, hovering just above his nose and mouth. I closed my eyes and waited, listening. I heard Iesa step closer, and then I heard the sound of wings fluttering. I heard mail clattering in the distance, getting closer and then finally halting. But no one said anything; waiting for my next words to break the silence. I heard nothing. The tears started to well in my already shut eyes. I had no words. No thoughts. Just overwhelming pain and sorrow that touched my soul. Time passed, and I swallowed and was about to speak when I felt it. The hairs on my cheek were brushed ever so slightly. I waited and I realized in the silence, that I felt the faint touch of breath on my cheek; its warmth casting away the chill of the cool underground air. I opened my eyes and heard the drops of my tears splash on Beepu’s face. But as I looked, I could see the faint rise and fall of his chest, as he quietly lay there barely breathing. I turned my head to look at the first face I could see, that off Iesa. I said nothing as the tears fell. But my smile told the story best as I watched Iesa once stricken face relax and break into a grin even as his eyes watered. And then finally, he started to laugh, and he turned to look at his brother. Daneath’s face too softened and he clasped his brother and joined him in deep laughter smiling, wiping the tears from his eyes. I finally couldn’t control myself and let the joy in and laughed too as my tears fell. For it was that laughter was the only magic needed to set things right. [/QUOTE]
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